Take A Breath, Let the Rest Come Easy

“Can I do that line one more time?” Grace choked, gripping her neck while speaking to the men on the other side of the sound box.

“By all means-“ A man with short black hair said. Grace’s hands went to her headphones and she cleared her throat. She started to sing again. Even this time she heard it- the horrifying squeaking of her voice as she coughed again, causing her to stop playing her guitar as well.

“Grace-“ The same man said into the speaker, “Go home, get some rest- and we’ll finish this another time.”

“No, I promise- there was just something in my throat.” She tried again, even though her throat felt like a thousand nails were digging their way through her esophagus.

The man rolled his eyes and dropped his clipboard. “I’m done.” He said, although Grace couldn’t exactly tell what he said- because his microphone wasn’t hooked up to the room then. Another man leaned over to the microphone and pressed the on button.

“Grace you can go.” He said. Grace nodded rapidly and then got out of her chair and gathered her stuff. She silently cursed to herself for not being ready for the final recording.

She continued down the street towards her apartment, feeling exhausted and defeated. She hesitated with her phone- thinking about calling Alex. But then she put it back in her pocket. As she reached to find her keys, she looked up and saw her mother standing at the apartment entrances. “Mom?” She croaked. “What are you doing here?” She was in no mood to deal with her mother.

“I thought we could have a little mother-daughter chat.” She suggested, grinning through her bright red lipstick. She held out a bag. “I bought you some new make-up. When we were at the dinner with Mrs. Gaskarth, I couldn’t help but notice your complexion was a little off.”

Grace groaned inwardly. All she wanted to do was sleep, and work on her lyrics, and her mother was making it quite impossible. “Come in.” Grace said quietly, and opened the door to the building and walked up the stairs to her apartment.

“Well this is a cute little thing, isn’t it?” She turned up her nose at the place. Grace rolled her eyes and threw down her bag. Her mother sat down on the couch and continued to look around.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Grace asked politely, just like her mother had taught her.

“No thank you, dear.” She smiled. Grace walked into the kitchen anyways to get herself something to drink. “Grace!” Her mother called.

“Yeah?” Grace mumbled as loud as her voice would manage.

“You’ve heard of slim-fast haven’t you?” She asked from the living room. Grace’s fists clenched. She bit down on her lips so hard she was sure they were bleeding.

“Well, I think you should try it. Mrs. Gaskarth mentioned that one of her friends was and it really worked for her. I think it would do wonders for you.” Her mother was oblivious to how harmful she was actually being.

Grace had already cut back half of the food she ate to please her, and she was sure as hell not going to go out and spend money on “slim-fast”. She looked down at her tummy, maybe she was fat… And maybe she was just the only one who didn’t see it. She gulped, and then put the newly filled glass of water down the drain. It would just make her bloat anyways.

“Why are you here, mom?” Grace leaned against the door frame to the kitchen to look at her unappeased mother.

“Can’t a mother just drop in to say hi?” She asked, innocently. Grace immediately felt bad.

“Sorry.” She shrugged. “I just got off work. I’m exhausted.”

“Well actually I came to see if Alex was over. I have a few questions to ask him.”

“Like what?” Grace groaned.

“You know, just how he plans to maintain the family reputation… important things.”

“We aren’t married.” Grace scoffed, and choked out a cough.

“I know. But you do realize how this is going to change things, the press will go crazy once they hear my daughter is dating a rock star.”

“The press barely even follows you now.” Grace muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Her mother taunted, smiling up at her.

“Nothing.” Grace slid to the couch and sat down. Her mother stared at her for a moment, and then cocked her head to the side.

“I hope you’re still pure.” Her eyes narrowed directly into her daughters. Grace’s stomach hitched, she felt like throwing up.

“Get out.” She said softly.

“What? Why?” her mother’s mouth dropped open in oblivious disgust.

Grace cleared her aching throat and tried again, “If you would be so kind as to leave. I don’t feel well, and your company is not making things any better.” She said ushering her to the door.

“Well fine, if that’s how you’re feeling…” her mother continued to guilt trip her.

“Please, just go.” Grace tried, she fought back heavy tears.

“Okay.” Her mother stopped at the door. “I’m serious about the slim-fast thing though.” She pressed, “You could use a haircut as well.” Grace slammed the door in the woman’s face and slid to the floor with her hands pressed against her face. The hot tears poured quickly from her eyes and all the years of incessant nagging and negativity forced her to a breaking point. She felt like she was never good enough, no matter how hard she tried to please her family she was never good enough for them.

“God dammit.” She eventually wiped her eyes and stood up from her fetal position on the floor. With hands slightly shaking, she yanked a blanket off of the couch and proceeded to her room where she laid on the bed and past out immediately from exhaustion. Pooka whined, and jumped up next to her and finally buried himself in her arms, and shut his eyes.