Status: Last update was 5/19/14, until now 11/5/16. I guess we're back up and running.

Who Am I?

Suicide

I turn the shower off, but I stay standing in the tub shivering. God I hate my mother, it’s times like this I just hope she is a dying from a slow flesh eating disease and getting everything she fucking deserves for hurting her own flesh and blood, someone she brought into this world. I spent two weeks trying to get her to listen to me, or at least get her attention so that she could ask me what was wrong, but she only ignored me. I just did not know what the hell to do and, because I had no one to talk to I held it in.

Everything reminded me of Jordan. Absolutely everything. I cried myself to sleep and screamed in the middle of the night, because of nightmares. I couldn’t eat anything because I instantly thought of Jordan shoving his tongue down my throat. I constantly showered, cried and slept. That’s all I could do, because I couldn’t trust anyone nor could I tell anyone because my own mother wouldn’t listen to me. I couldn’t really see my anorexia spiraling out of control, but I know I was getting these contorted images of myself when ever I looked in the mirror that I thought was complete reality. I was alone and starving, it was my quiet way of committing suicide.

I sigh, push up onto my tippy toes and then back on flat feet and I step out of the bathtub.
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I am so sorry, I know you hate me. Please forgive me, but school has started back up and it's kind of stressing me out. Also, I know this chapter is really really short, but I've kinda lost my spark of inspiration... Ughhhhh! WTF!!