Who Am I?

It’s been a week and some days, but I’m finally hanging out with Nate again, were going to see a movie tonight. I’m standing outside of the apartment building that Nate believes is my home and I’m nervous, but that’s no surprise. I stuff my hands into my navy blue pullover hoodie and kick a white chalky rock down the sidewalk. The rock leaves little powdered scratches and lines as it tumbles down the sidewalk and then my phone buzzes. I dig into the back of my blue faded jeans and answer.

“Hey, I’m outside.”

“Alright, I’m rollin’ up,” Nate’s cool smooth voice says.

“Okay,” Nate’s truck eases up next to the lamppost. “I see you.”

I hang up and hurry over to the truck. Nate opens my door from the inside and the light illuminates the inside of the vehicle. I climb in, shut the door and buckle my seat belt.

“Sup Winter?” he asks.

I can’t help, but smile when he says my name with a coolness, “hey, not much. What about you?”

“Same here, I’m actually surprised it’s this cold out. You look warm and cozy,” he laughs giving me a look over in the dim light.

I shiver, “yeah a little bit.”

“Also, sorry I wasn’t able to hang out until late, I got caught up in a few things.”

“Oh, it’s completely fine. I’m actually not tired at all, ” very true.

Nathaniel, pulls onto the main road and we ride quietly to the theater. Of course nothing’s changed and it is packed and full of cars in the parking lot and people scrambled everywhere, just how I remember it. Before we get out I glance at the time on his radio, it’s 9:54pm. I slide out of the truck when Nathaniel opens my door and then we walk over to the white light covered building.

“So, what are we seeing again?” I ask staring at the posters posted on the wall of the movie theater.

“The Possession, it’s a horror. You like horror movies right?”

No, “Um, yeah I guess so.”

He laughs at my facial expression and rubs my back, “don’t worry it’s PG-13, it shouldn’t be that scary.”

I go rigid from his touch, and he realizes, hopefully he can’t tell it’s from his touch.

He removes his hand and shrugs, “if you get too scared, we can leave early it’s no big deal. Unless you want to just see something else.”

“No, no it’s okay. Sorry,” I say blushing and I put a smile on my face. “I’ll suck it up and try not to make a fuss.”

He smiles and we go up to the glass ticket window.

“Hello, welcome to Royalty Theaters.”

“Hi, can I have two adult tickets to ‘The Possession’?”

“Yes, that’ll be 19 dollars.”

Nate completes the transaction; we go inside and he asks me if I want any candy or anything else. I really want some gummy worms, but I just say no thanks. He gets a medium sized popcorn bucket and a large orange soda grabbing two straws. We are instructed to go to theater 6 and we get there and take seats way in the back. We’re the only ones on this row and there aren’t many people in here. I can easily count the amount and there are about twelve people here.

“When does the movie start?” I ask curiously.

“In about twenty minutes or so,” he says looking at his phone and then he dims the brightness on it.

“Shouldn’t there be more people?”

“Yeah, you would think so. But this movie has been out for awhile and also, it’s kinda late.”

“Oh,” is all I say.

"Yo, so you aid you remembered us hanging at school?" he asks excitedly.

"Well, it was more of a dream. We were talking about a test on some book and then I started complaining about a chemistry teacher I hated."

"Oh yeah, Mrs. Boomer! Damn too bad she's retired now and can't make more kids cry during lunch."

We talk a bit more, he's really happy hat I've remembered something and tries triggering more memories. Three more people show up sitting towards the middle of the theater. Then the movie begins. Throughout the entire time, I tried to compose myself, but inside I was squirming. Every sudden loud noise makes me jump, without fail. The movie is actually more gross than anything else, at least in my opinion. Nathaniel ends up drinking all of the soda himself and eating most of the popcorn, offering me some way more times than necessary.

Once the movie is over, everyone else is chippering about the movie when walking out, Nate’s talking to me, but I’m not responding. Once we reach outside of the building, Nathaniel looks down at me and laughs.

“Aw, you look terrified. Look at your eyes they're huge.”

I don’t say anything, I just roll my eyes at him and he laughs even more.

“You should’ve told me you were freakin’ out over there, although. . . I did see you jump a few times.”

“Well, I-” I croak. I clear my throat and that makes him laugh even more almost doubling to the ground. I continue, “I wouldn’t have been as freaked out if you hadn’t told me it was a true story.”

“I didn’t say that it is, what I said was that others say it’s been inspired.”

“Still, there’s a possibility.”

“Aw, look snowflake I’m sorry.”

He then grabs me into a hug and his touch shocks me. I’m stiff and then I awkwardly push him back. I’m afraid he’s going to notice my size if he hasn’t already, with all the times he’s grabbed my
hand, or wrist. He looks at me and he’s about to say something, but decides against it.

“Sorry,” I say softly. “It’s just I don’t. . .” I begin to trail off.

“No need to apologize, if anything I’m sorry. I guess I just felt like things were like back then, but whatever you know.”

I suddenly feel bad. God damn it, why do I always have to make things weird? I just shake my head and we quietly walk to his truck.

Nate starts his truck and I see that it is past midnight.

“Wow, I didn’t know it was this late,” I say, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, me neither.”

We ride back to my fake apartment building, listening to Chill music. Nate pulls up next to the curb like before, but he turns the truck off.

“What are you doing?” I ask, heart beginning to race.

“I’m going to walk you up.”

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

“But I want to.”

“I don’t want you to inconvenience yourself,” I try to sound stern.

“It’s not an inconvenience.”

He begins to get out of the truck, his keys in hand and he walks over to my door. I don’t move.

“Come on Winter, I swear I won’t try anything, I just want to make sure you get in okay.”

“I will it’s actually really safe out here.”

He just stares at me, not giving up. Two stubborn people working against each other isn’t going to work . . . Ugh, I’m just going to have to tell him because he isn't backing down.

“What’s so wrong with me walking you to your door?” he asks.

“Nothing it’s just. . . I don’t live here.”

That response surprises him. “What do you mean?”

“I live down the road, in that shithole with all the drunks and scumbags.”

“Why’d you lie?” his brows furrowed.

“Dude, because it’s embarrassing.”

He then closes my door, and gets back in the truck, starting it up. We quietly ride down the road and I get even more embarrassed. There’s the familiar clusterfuck of people, beer glass shattered on the road, loud music and louder yelling. I sigh, Nate parks where the sidewalk ends. Gets out without a word, and opens my door.

“Nate. . .”

“Come on Winter,” is all he says.

I take a deep breath and hop down out of his truck. He locks the doors and closes my door. He places his hand on the small of my back, and we walk quietly, glancing around as we go to my door. I unlock the door, I’m dreading the fact that he’s going to come in, but I can’t find the voice to tell him to leave and get in his truck. We walk in I turn the light on and it’s eerily quiet and empty.

“So yeah, welcome to my box,” I'm very uncomfortable.

“Winter, you know you didn’t have to lie to me.”

“Yes I did.”

“Why, to impress me?” he throws his hands in the air.

“Not really, just to save myself the embarrassment.”

I watch as his eyes sweep over the dirty empty living room and kitchen. I could go die in a hole right now. His hand goes up to his head and he scratches the top of his head.

“Well at least I know you’re safe inside.”

I shrug. “Guess so.”

He looks down at me and shakes his head.

“You’ve changed quite a bit,” he says quietly.

I sigh, “you can leave now.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, becoming defensive.

I sigh, “I know, but having you in here makes me very uncomfortable. Can you please just leave?”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive. Thank you for walking me inside and thank you for the movie."

He nods, I walk him to the door, he opens it and steps out. He turns around facing me and grabs me again in a hug.

“I’ve missed you,” he says quietly into my hair.

I feel his lips press to the top of my head and before I can respond, he lets me go.

“Night Snowflake,” and then he walks out and back to his truck.

At a loss for words, I shut the door, lock it and walk over to the window and watch him drive away.