Who Am I?

Were walking down the boardwalk over the water it’s about nine in the morning. He called me up at eight inviting me out to spend time together.

“I don’t work today,” he said. “I want to actually enjoy my day off and I think the only way to do that is spending it with you.”

When he said that over the phone it made me smile so much every time I thought about it while getting ready that my cheeks started to hurt.

We’ve been hanging out a lot more these last few weeks and I’ve gotten really comfortable with him. So comfortable that I’m actually okay with him having his arm around my waist.

“Hey Winter,” Nate sounds like he’s catching a cold.

“Hi,” I say back.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” he says.

I get a little worried and he looks down at me and shakes his head with a little smile.

“Nothing too bad, I hope not anyway.”

That doesn’t make me feel any better. He leads me to a bench that faces the water and we sit down. Slowly Nathaniel eases his hand over to mine and takes it gently in his. My bony small hand in his giant chocolate hand feels a little warmer.

“Winter,” he says softly. "I’ve missed you so much. I've been wondering where you were since you dropped out and left home. I visited your house and your mom didn't tell me anything about where you went. It felt like you didn't exist anymore, like you were just a part of my imagination. . . And I’ve never said it and I’ve always regretted not saying it, but I really like you, I always have. I care about you, I think about you all day every day. I think about all the times we shared in high school and how close we were to each other. And when I saw you outside my store, it was like I got another chance. . . I- I guess what I’m trying to say is. I want to be with you.”

I stare at him, mouth sealed shut, but in my head I’m jaw dropped. This gorgeous, sweet, polite, caring man wants me. Why would anyone want someone so fragile and hotheaded and destructive?

“Say something,” he says.

“I. . . I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?” he asks, his hope faltering.

“Why? Why do you want someone broken like me?”

“I can fix you if that’s what you need.”

“Not all things can be fixed Nate, I’m one of those things.”

“First of all you're not a thing, second I can make you feel better. I can give you the love and care and heartwarming you need. Just give me a chance,” he says softly.

Slowly he leans in and presses his soft warm lips against my pale chapped ones. My heart is racing and my lips tingle. I close my eyes and press my lips against his more. When the kiss is done the soft touch lingers.

“I’ve been waiting so long to do that,” he whispers a smile on his face.

I blush and look away. Nathaniel asks, “Will you Winter, be my one and only girl, my sweet soft snowflake?”

I look into his eyes and nod, “okay,” I smile.

He kisses me again and for once in some very long years I have that unfamiliar feeling of happiness.