Status: Last update was 5/19/14, until now 11/5/16. I guess we're back up and running.
Who Am I?
Falling
Back in my filthy ass apartment, I’m suddenly tired. I rub my eyes and then crawl into my bed. The springs are digging into my back, just a thin padding separating me from them. With great willpower I pull the sheets over my head, ignore the pain and fall asleep.
*Running, hard. Heart, racing. Feet, pounding. Ground, shaking. Fat, bubbling. Sweat, down pouring. Tears ↓ falling.
I’m watching myself from above, running as hard as I can down a grassy field. The ground is vibrating underneath me, because my fat ass is making the whole outside thunder with every step I take. I’m big as an elephant, but not as cute as one. The texture of my huge thighs are like huge lumps, the lard all over my body jiggling. I’m wheezing and sweating like a fresh hot buttered pig. And then with one final step my foot cracks through the ground, the land that was once under my feet crumbles and deteriorates beneath me until it is nothing. I’m falling in white space, never stopping and the speed of my falling just increases there’s nothing, but wind in my ears, my screams can’t be heard. I’m just falling.*
I wake up abruptly, screams getting caught in my throat, water streams on the sides of face, my body cold, yet sticky. I escape the sheets and hurry to the bathroom. The only mirror I have being my handheld one, I grab it from off the toilet and stare at the reflection of my face, my thighs, stomach, all over my body. What the hell. . . Well if that wasn’t a sign to get my fat ass up and do some working out.
I begin my exercise ritual; I do it twice, thrice. When done, I find an old box of green tea on the top of my rusting refrigerator; I get a black coffee mug and a black pot. I turn the stove on, fill the pot up with some unfiltered water and then the pot is put on the hot stove top burner. Once the boiling is over with, I put some powdered tea in my mug, along with hot steaming water, mix it up and I enjoy my soothing tea. There’s something about green tea that gets to me, but I’m not going to get into that. . . After tea, I take a warm bath and then I sit on my bed, back against the wall, mind blank.
It’s 8:45pm, the sirens, loud music and louder arguments have already started outside. Then his brown eyes pop into my head, I try so hard to remember him, to undo the many mind blocks I've put up, but there's nothing. After awhile of daydreaming I fall asleep and have dreams of the guy that told me that he knows me.
*Running, hard. Heart, racing. Feet, pounding. Ground, shaking. Fat, bubbling. Sweat, down pouring. Tears ↓ falling.
I’m watching myself from above, running as hard as I can down a grassy field. The ground is vibrating underneath me, because my fat ass is making the whole outside thunder with every step I take. I’m big as an elephant, but not as cute as one. The texture of my huge thighs are like huge lumps, the lard all over my body jiggling. I’m wheezing and sweating like a fresh hot buttered pig. And then with one final step my foot cracks through the ground, the land that was once under my feet crumbles and deteriorates beneath me until it is nothing. I’m falling in white space, never stopping and the speed of my falling just increases there’s nothing, but wind in my ears, my screams can’t be heard. I’m just falling.*
I wake up abruptly, screams getting caught in my throat, water streams on the sides of face, my body cold, yet sticky. I escape the sheets and hurry to the bathroom. The only mirror I have being my handheld one, I grab it from off the toilet and stare at the reflection of my face, my thighs, stomach, all over my body. What the hell. . . Well if that wasn’t a sign to get my fat ass up and do some working out.
I begin my exercise ritual; I do it twice, thrice. When done, I find an old box of green tea on the top of my rusting refrigerator; I get a black coffee mug and a black pot. I turn the stove on, fill the pot up with some unfiltered water and then the pot is put on the hot stove top burner. Once the boiling is over with, I put some powdered tea in my mug, along with hot steaming water, mix it up and I enjoy my soothing tea. There’s something about green tea that gets to me, but I’m not going to get into that. . . After tea, I take a warm bath and then I sit on my bed, back against the wall, mind blank.
It’s 8:45pm, the sirens, loud music and louder arguments have already started outside. Then his brown eyes pop into my head, I try so hard to remember him, to undo the many mind blocks I've put up, but there's nothing. After awhile of daydreaming I fall asleep and have dreams of the guy that told me that he knows me.