Can We Lose Our Minds and Call It Love?

"Hey little princess, it's nice to meet you!" I say that phrase so frequently during the day at my job. I work at Disneyland, one of my two jobs here is being Jasmine and meeting kids. My second job being a pastry chef in the Penny Arcade.

When I was 18, I left my home in Chicago to come to California. All my life I wanted to work at Disneyland, I wanted to be connected to the Disney corporation in some way. My parents had passed away when I was younger, leaving me to live with an aunt and cousins from the age of seven to eighteen. All of my cousins were older and my aunt always worked. My cousins would throw parties full of alcohol and drugs, I'd be hiding away in one of the rooms watching Disney movies on VHS. I didn't like my cousins lifestyles, I didn't want to stay past eighteen.

Without any job experience, somehow I got a job at Disneyland on a whim. I worked part of cleaning crew for two years, then I worked at the Muppet 3D Vision attraction. One of the people in charge of costumes suggested I try out as the face character for Jasmine, luckily I got the job. Once the Penny Arcade opened, I immediately went for a pastry chef job in order to keep my apartment in Downtown Disneyland.

"Come on Ell," I heard a voice say. "We gotta meet Jasmine!" I put a big smile on as a little girl with brown curled hair came running up to me, latching onto my leg immediately. Two guys and one girl came running after her.

"Baby you have to wait for us," one of the guys said. He had shoulder length hair and a snap back on.

"You can't run like that, your daddy would get upset if he seen you got away from us," the girl said with a sigh.

"We're sorry she's latched to your leg," the other guy said, he had a snap back as well along with a tank top that showed off his arms full of tattoos as well as one on his neck.

"Oh, it's okay," I said, running my hand over the top of her head. "Would you like to take a picture with me, little princess?"

"Mhm," she said with a nod of her head. She let go on my leg as the guy with shoulder length hair got his phone out to take a picture. The little girl stood next to me, we posed, and the picture was done.

"Do you live here?" the little girl asked.

"Sort of," I replied.

"Is it fun being here?"

"Elly, let's go now. Jasmine probably wants to go," the girl said.

"Oh it's okay. It is fun being here! I love being able to be at Disneyland a lot! Do you like being here?"

"Mhm. I like the rides and smells!" her smile was big and moments like these made me love my job. It was probably fun having kids, but I could never have any. I was fine being around them, but I didn't know the first thing about them. "I'm Ella!"

"It was so nice to meet you, Ella!"

"This is uncle Vic, he's not a girl," she pointed at the guy who previously took the picture. "That's auntie Janelle, she's my daddy's sister and she loves uncle Tony! Uncle Tony has pictures on him!" she giggled.

"It's nice to meet you all," I said.

"Will you go on rides with us?" she asked.

"Ella, let's go now!" Tony said. "No more bugging her."

"But she's nice," she pouted.

"She can't ride with us, mija," Vic said, bending down to her level. "She has to work. Like when we work on stage, this is her work."

"I'll cry for years if she doesn't come," Ella continued to pout.

"You wouldn't even be able to ride with us, would you?" Janelle asked, running a hand through her long brown hair.

"I can," I said, walking close to her in order for only her to hear, "when a cast member rides with other people, we get to go to the front of the line."

"Would you even want to do that?" she asked.

"Um," I thought, "I can for an hour or two till I need to be in the parade."

Janelle smiled, "Thanks! What's your real name, by the way?"

"Kayla," I said with a smile.

Janelle's POV:

“Kayla, what a lovely name," I say with a smile.

“Thank you!”

“So-“ I start off, “Which ride should we go on first?”

“Alice!” Ella says. “Alice In Wonderland ride!”

She grabs a hold of Kayla’s hand and Kayla looks down at her, smiling. “Of course, if you’d like!”

Ella gives her a bright smile and nods happily. “Sit with me! Sit with me!!”

“Ell, you’re my sitting buddy though!" Vic says and frowns at Ella.

Ella giggles and covers her mouth. “Just for this ride, Uncle Vic. Okay?!”

“Alright, alright.”

We all start to walk in the direction of the ride, Ella still holding onto Kayla’s hand.

“Uncle Tony always sits next to Auntie Janelle. Then they hold hands and kiss- it’s so gross! That’s why I sit with Uncle Vic.”

Tony and I laugh. He holds my hand in his and kisses my cheek. “We think she doesn’t watch, but she does," he says to me and kisses my cheek again.

“There you go again! Uncle Tony!” Ella whines.

“I’ll kiss you next!” Tony says and grabs Ella in his arms. Ella starts to laugh as Tony lifts her up in the air, trying to kiss her cheek.

I stare at them playing around and smile to myself. Watching Tony play with Ella is always nice and cute. It makes me wonder how it would be if we would ever have a child together.

“So… How long have you and Tony been together?” Kayla asks.

I break my attention from Tony and Ella and face her. “Four years," I say with a proud smile.

“And they’re still smooching like it’s been four weeks!” Vic adds. I glare at him and reach over to smack his arm.

“Shut it, Vicky!” I say. He laughs and heads towards Ella and Tony.

Kayla laughs. “Wow, four? That’s great. You two seem pretty committed.”

I nod. “I guess so! I can’t really imagine my life without Tony… He’s really the best guy ever. And I’m not just saying that because he’s my boyfriend of four years! Okay, well, maybe I am. But still. I love him very much.”

Kayla nods and looks down, smiling. “That’s great though! And… Anything in the making?”

She nudges my side with her elbow and I realize what it means now. “Oh- oh no, no! No kids," I say and shake my head.

Kayla chuckles. “And why not?”

“I am most definitely not ready for that! Ella is my brother’s daughter- and I treat as my own as well. She’s my little bundle of joy for now!”

“Aw, but wouldn’t you want one of your own? With Tony?”

I think for a little before answering. “Well… Of course.. But not now. Not until a very long time! Tony has a lot going on as of now and I’m busy with work and… no, no kids!”

Kayla nods. “Understandable! It’ll happen when it happens!”

“Exactly.”, I say with a smile.

“We’re here! It’s Alice ride!” Ella exclaims and comes running towards Kayla and I. “Let’s go!”

As Kayla said, she led us through the front of the line and we all found our spots. After Alice was over, we rode a couple of other rides, ate some pretzels, and we all got to speak to Kayla and find out more about her crazy-busy life.

“Any guys chasing after you, Princess Jasmine?” I ask as I take a bite of my churro. We’re all walking to the Peter Pan ride, our last ride with Kayla before she needs to leave for the parade.

Kayla laughs and shake her head, her hands behind her back. “Nope.”

“And why not?” I ask and offer some of my churro. She pulls off a small piece and sighs.

“Guess I just haven’t really looked into guys lately. My life is already busy as it is, a boyfriend would be hard to balance," she shrugs and sticks the piece of churro in her mouth.
I stare ahead at Vic, Tony, and Ella walking together. Tony bends down to Ella and lets her bite off a big piece of his churro. Vic wipes away the left over sugar on her little mouth with his hand. She’s in the middle, holding and swinging their hands as they walk.

“You know, that’s what Tony thought at first too," I say and bite off a piece of my churro.

Kayla turns and looks at me. “Really?”

“Mmhm," I nod and swallow. “He’s in a band with Vic and my brother, along with Vic’s brother, Mike. They tour almost always and four years ago, Tony and I almost never happened because of it. I was just starting off college over in San Diego, where we all live. My brother introduced me to his band mates and that’s where I met Tony. I guess you could say we had an instant connection. If accidentally spilling a Smirnoff on someone and laughing about it for an hour together is what you call that.”

Kayla laughs. “He spilled a Smirnoff on you when you first met?”

I nod. “Yup. My brother always jokes around about how nervous and jumpy he was because of me that day. He never lets it go.”

“Aw, that’s cute!”

“Well, we started talking and we grew into being close friends until he asked me out on a date and- well, you know how that process works! But then a couple months into everything- he tells me how often they tour and how it’d be hard to balance everything. Me with school and work, him and the whole music business touring thing… So we took a small break. Then we realized that if we really liked each other, we’d try our hardest to make it all work out. So we did. We tried. When he was off on tour for months and I was in school or at work, we’d always find time to talk to each other somehow. I trusted him, he trusted me, and we worked it out. We balanced it all out. And though I’m done with school now, we still balance it all out. It gets hard- it’s always hard, but we’re still going strong.”

“That’s great. You guys must love each other a lot to make it work.”

“And you’ll find that someone one day. Both of you will have busy lives, but if you really love and care about that person, you’ll make it work. You’ll balance it all out.”

Kayla nods and turns to me. “You know, I’ve always thought I’d never get into a long term relationship because of how my lifestyle is, but looking at you and Tony and you telling me how it is between you two, it really gives me hope that one day I’ll find that someone too. And that I could make it work out somehow.”

I give her a reassuring smile and nudge her arm. “Of course you’re going to find him one day. You’re gorgeous, nice spirited, and you’re a princess! You’ll have him wrapped around your finger. And it’ll work out. Everything has it’s time.”

“Thank you, Janelle. Seriously. I needed this.”

I give her a one-armed hug. “Don’t even mention it, girl.”

“Peter Pan!” we hear Ella yell out.

Vic lifts her up on his shoulders as they fast walk to the ride. Tony turns around to face Kayla and I.
“You all ready for this epic adventurous ride?!” he says and reaches for my hand. Kayla and I nod and I grab his hand in mine.

“You know it!”

After the ride, we all stand around and talk for a little before Kayla leaves.
“Think it’s time I start to head out! It’s been so such fun riding rides you guys. Especially you, little princess!” Kayla says and bends down to Ella, moving a strand of black hair behind her ear. Ella giggles and throws her little arms around Kayla, giving her a hug.

“Can I see you again?” she asks when they pull away from each other.

“Of course!”

Ella gives her a smile before returning back to my side, holding my hand. “Thank you so much, Kayla. For everything. We all had a great time.”

“No problem! I’ll catch you guys at the parade!” she says.

“It was nice meeting you! Hopefully we’ll meet again!” Tony adds on.
We all say our final goodbyes to the wonderful Kayla, before she heads off.

“I’m gonna miss her," Ella says and kicks around her feet.

“Aw, baby it’s okay! We’ll meet her again some other day!” I say and give her a small kiss on the cheek.

“Promise?”

I chuckle and feel Tonys hand come behind my back as we start to walk again. “Yeah, promise!”