Can We Lose Our Minds and Call It Love?

Janelle's POV:

"Janelle Preciado?" I heard the nurse call out. I roll my eyes and stand up.

"You didn't need to call out my name, Cindy."

She chuckled. "It's in my job description. Doctor Soto could see you now by the way!"

"Well thanks!" I said as I walk into the room.

"Janelle, how nice to see you!" Doctor Soto greeted.

"Nice to see you too!" I said as I sat on the uncomfortable hospital mattress.

"You sure you're in the right room?" she said as she smacks on some blue gloves.

I laugh and set my bag down on the ground. "Pretty sure."

"Wow. You've always talked about never having children! Looks like life told you differently!"

I sigh. "Looks like it did."

"Alright, so, just a simple ultrasound for you today? Is that right?"

I nod. "That's right."

"Okay then. If I could have you lay down on the bed there and lift your shirt up for me."

I do as I'm told and as I lift my shirt up, she squeezes the cold lubricant onto my stomach. As she moves the peg around my stomach, we both stare up at the screen in silence.

"I'm not seeing any heartbeat... Or hearing anything.." she murmurs. At first, I'm panicked. Did something go wrong? Or maybe I'm just not pregnant?
Then, we hear it.

"Oh, there it is! There's the heartbeat."
I gasp quietly and stare at the screen. A small, little circle pounding and making a heartbeat noise inside of me. "Oh my god," I whisper.

"You're about seven weeks into your pregnancy, Miss Preciado. Congrats! The heartbeat sounds pretty normal too."

"Wow..." I say, still shocked.

"Wow is right. It might not seem like much, but that's the heartbeat of your first and new baby."
"Inside.. Of... Me.."

"Mmhm. Would you like a print out of it? I know it might not seem like much but-"

"No, no, of course I would. Yes, please," I say and smile at her.

She me gives a warm smile back and stands up. "Great. I'll be right back with that then." I nod and grab some tissues to wipe of the lubricant from my stomach. Wow, that heartbeat is in me. There's a person growing in me. No- not just a person, my kid.[/] Tony and I's child.
This is real, it's actually real. She comes back into the room and hands me the small, square shaped sonogram picture.

"Here it is."

I stare at it and can't help but smile. "Thank you," I say.

"No problem. I assume you want to schedule your next appointment?"

I grin and nod. "Yes, I do," I say with a smile.

Tony sips on his beer, Jaime shifts in his seat, and I stare at my lap, playing with my fingers.

Vic clears his throat. "Why are you all so damn quiet?" I keep my eyes on my lap, consumed in my thoughts.

"I'm just tired, man. Sorry," Jaime says.

"You've been busy with your girl or something?" Mike say and smirks.

I glance at Jaime and he frowns, looking away and shaking his head. "Nah... Just tired," he murmurs.

"The hell is wrong with you, Tone?" Mike says and nudges Tony with a beer.

He chuckles and rubs his eyes. "I'm hungry."

"The food should be ready. I'll go check on it. Janelle, you wanna come with me?" Vic says.
I look up and stare at Vic who raises his eyebrows at me. Tony gives us a confused look.

"I could go," he says.

I stand up along with Vic. "No. I'll go," I say without looking and follow Vic into the house.
As Vic and I enter the kitchen, I start to prepare Tony his small burrito filled with rice, beans, and guacamole while Vic checks on the meat.

"Tony is a lame Mexican," he says.

I laugh. "He's one of the coolest ones though."

He laughs and nods. "That's right. So, how's it going... You know, how's the mini Tony doing?"

I sigh and face him. "Pretty good I guess... I went to my first ultrasound today actually."

"You did? Wow, how did that go?"

I reach for my bag, which is on the counter, and take out the sonogram picture. "The heartbeat."

He grabs it and stares at it, mouth wide open. "That is amazing," he says and smiles at me. "That's your's and Tony's kid, Jan."

He hands it back to me I safely place back into my bag. "I know... It's pretty crazy."

"I assume you still haven't told him?"

I shake my head. "Of course I haven't..." I murmur quietly.

He sighs. "You already know what I'm going to say."

"I know. I'm just not ready yet..."

"This baby isn't going to stop growing, Janelle. Its not like you can hide this for long."

"I'm not planning on to... I'll tell him soon. I'm just scared."

I grab the plate with Tony's food as we start to walk out to the porch.
"Hey, don't be scared. No matter what, you won't be alone in this," he says reassuringly and gives me a hug.

"Thanks, Vic," I say as I pull away. He pats my shoulder and walks back to the table, sitting down at his spot. I sit down next to Tony again, who eyes Vic and I.

"I made you your burrito," I say and smile, placing the food in front of him. "Rice, beans, and a shit load of guacamole. Do you want another beer?"

He looks at me through the corner of his eyes and shakes his head, silent. "No."

I chuckle. "Okay. What's wrong, Tony?" I ask and touch his lap. Once I touch him, he stands up and starts to walk away from the table.

"Ay! Tone! Where yah going, dude?!" Mike yells out.

"Bathroom."
Everyone gives me a confused look and I laugh, shaking it off. "I'll go see what's up..."

I follow him down the hall of the house, grabbing his elbow so he could face me. "Hey! Tell me what's wrong-"

"Nothing, Janelle! I'm going to the bathroom-"

"Why are you so angry all of a sudden?"

He let's out a sigh. "So because I need to go to the bathroom I'm fucking angry?"

"Well the way you're acting-"

"How about the way you're acting, Janelle!"

I stay quiet and force out a laugh. "Look, you're being ridiculous. Go and eat, I made what you like and-" I say and grab his hand.

He shoves my hand away. "I don't want your fucking burrito. I'm not hungry," he says in a hard voice and walks into the bathroom, slamming the door.

I gasp and start to back away from where I am, trying not to let the over flow of emotions get to me. But it's too late. I go into Vic's room and have a mini breakdown over everything that's been going on around me. The stress from work, this pregnancy, and now Tony..

"Fuck," I cry and grab fistfuls of my hair, sinking down onto the ground.
I bring knees up to my chest and bury my face in them, letting it all out. I lift my head up moments later and start to wipe away all the tears, fixing myself up so I could look presentable before I walk back outside. Once I feel decent enough, I walk back out to where the boys are.

"Hey, is he alright?" Mike asks.

I sit down and nod, giving him a smile. "Oh- yeah. He's fine," I lie. "But he's obviously not hungry. Anyone want his burrito?"

"Fuck yeah I do," Mike says and takes it, taking a big bite from it.

"I already served you food while you were with Tony," Jaime says and pushes a plate of food in front of me. "You okay?" he whispers so only I could hear.

I clear my throat. "Y-yeah. I'm fine, Jaime. Are you?" I say and try giving him a smile.
He leans back in his seat and sighs. "No."

He sips his beer and stands up. "I'm gonna call mom and dad. Check on Ella. Be right back."

The guys and I nod and we silently start to eat our food. Nothing is going as it should anymore. Absolutely nothing.