River Rat
Fears
"You're good at that," Ethan suddenly said behind me, scaring the crap out of me yet again.
"I should say the same," I replied, fighting the urge to glare at him. I floated on my back as a distraction from his face. The sky was dark and cloudy. Rain was coming.
"I don't know how to swim," Ethan said. I looked over to see him looking at the water, stroking his fingers through it like a lock of hair. I shivered, remembering the feeling of those same fingers against my thighs.
"What about when I pushed you in?" I asked quizzically. Surely he was just trying to get me to bond with him again. Right?
"I was tall enough to stand without problem." He looked at me, then, asking questions with his eyes. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. I was locked in his gaze with no hope of coming out of it.
After a heavy internal battle with myself I finally sighed and said, "You want me to teach you." There was no question in my voice. Ethan nodded and I swam slowly over to where he was sitting. "Do you have swim trunks?"
"No. Never had a need." He laughed and I smiled subtly.
"You should get a pair soon, then, if you really want this thing to work." I smiled slyly as he worked the words over in his head.
"Thing?" he asked, but I knew he'd gotten it. He was smiling from ear to ear.
"Me ... you," I replied wistfully.
And just like that, I was dating Ethan.
~
"No way. I am not getting in that thing," I argued. I'm sure my eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. I was honestly and truly terrified.
"You need to face this fear, Melissa. Please," Ethan said calmly, hands held up like I was pointing some kind of weapon at his face.
"Hell no. I don't even know your last name and you want me to go drive. In a truck. With you?" I punctuated each phrase with such force that it was impossible not to understand what I meant.
"My last name is Roberts, now will you please get in the truck?"
"I can't, Ethan, I can't." I felt wetness on my face and I fought quickly to wipe them away. Ethan saw too quickly and I was in his arms instantly. I buried my face in his chest and clutched at his shirt.
"I know you can, Mel. You're strong and brave. You can do this," Ethan soothed me, running his fingers through my hair like the water. Was it just yesterday? No, it couldn't have been. Too much was a blur through my tears.
"My mom died in her car. I don't want to die, Ethan."
"You won't die. I'll keep you safe. I promise."
This whole conversation would later seem ridiculous to me. Maybe, just maybe, there was no reason to be afraid. It was just fate. That's how things worked. Just as the water flows through a river, humans die every day. It was just her time.
I wiped away my tears and grounded myself. I had to do this. Not just for Ethan or myself, but for my mom. I need to show her that I was just what Ethan said I was. Strong and brave.
And I was.
"I should say the same," I replied, fighting the urge to glare at him. I floated on my back as a distraction from his face. The sky was dark and cloudy. Rain was coming.
"I don't know how to swim," Ethan said. I looked over to see him looking at the water, stroking his fingers through it like a lock of hair. I shivered, remembering the feeling of those same fingers against my thighs.
"What about when I pushed you in?" I asked quizzically. Surely he was just trying to get me to bond with him again. Right?
"I was tall enough to stand without problem." He looked at me, then, asking questions with his eyes. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. I was locked in his gaze with no hope of coming out of it.
After a heavy internal battle with myself I finally sighed and said, "You want me to teach you." There was no question in my voice. Ethan nodded and I swam slowly over to where he was sitting. "Do you have swim trunks?"
"No. Never had a need." He laughed and I smiled subtly.
"You should get a pair soon, then, if you really want this thing to work." I smiled slyly as he worked the words over in his head.
"Thing?" he asked, but I knew he'd gotten it. He was smiling from ear to ear.
"Me ... you," I replied wistfully.
And just like that, I was dating Ethan.
~
"No way. I am not getting in that thing," I argued. I'm sure my eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. I was honestly and truly terrified.
"You need to face this fear, Melissa. Please," Ethan said calmly, hands held up like I was pointing some kind of weapon at his face.
"Hell no. I don't even know your last name and you want me to go drive. In a truck. With you?" I punctuated each phrase with such force that it was impossible not to understand what I meant.
"My last name is Roberts, now will you please get in the truck?"
"I can't, Ethan, I can't." I felt wetness on my face and I fought quickly to wipe them away. Ethan saw too quickly and I was in his arms instantly. I buried my face in his chest and clutched at his shirt.
"I know you can, Mel. You're strong and brave. You can do this," Ethan soothed me, running his fingers through my hair like the water. Was it just yesterday? No, it couldn't have been. Too much was a blur through my tears.
"My mom died in her car. I don't want to die, Ethan."
"You won't die. I'll keep you safe. I promise."
This whole conversation would later seem ridiculous to me. Maybe, just maybe, there was no reason to be afraid. It was just fate. That's how things worked. Just as the water flows through a river, humans die every day. It was just her time.
I wiped away my tears and grounded myself. I had to do this. Not just for Ethan or myself, but for my mom. I need to show her that I was just what Ethan said I was. Strong and brave.
And I was.