We Will Never Be the Same

The next morning, I looked like a complete wreck. There was no way I could go to work with huge puffy red eyes. Sighing quietly, I walked into the bathroom, rummaging around for some sort of make up.

"Hey." I turned towards the bathroom door, where Josh was leaning against the frame. I could only smile. I didn't want to talk. I was embarrassed for having cried so hard in front of him. I found some eye shadow and gave it a shot. I applied my make up quickly, I could still feel Josh's presence.

"Well," I could hear the disappointment in his voice, "I have to go meet up with the guys, I'll be home before you get off of work." He came over to kiss my cheek. "Do you need a ride?" He asked, looking down at me. I shook my head. I didn't mind walking, I did it everyday.

"Are you sure?" He questioned.

"Yeah. It's fine." I nodded. I let my lips brush against his cheek slowly, he smiled a little, he pecked my lips quickly before saying goodbye. Once I was ready, I headed out. It was colder today then it was yesterday. I hugged my jacket closer to my body as I walked down the street, looking down at the wet cement beneath my feet. It wasn't long before I finally made it to the office. I took the elevator all the way up to the 19th floor.
I walked up to the front desk, smiling softly,

"Goodmorning, Patty."

"Goodmorning, Eden." She turned around in her chair, grabbing a folder off the opposite desk, "That one fashion show in Scotland is coming up, and the coordinators are wondering if you wanted to participate." I nodded, I thanked her before walking towards my office. I handed the folder to my boss, she looked energetic and happy, like she always did.

"Well, what do you think, girly?" She asked after looking through the papers. I sat up a bit in my chair,

"We should do it. If you want your stuff to be get into Paris fashion week, then I think we should do as many shows as possible."

"Aw," She smiled, "What would I do without you, Eden?" She patted my shoulder. Work always took my mind off of things. I would get so wrapped in my sketches, everything had to be perfect, I would sketch and sketch until I got it right. After my sketch was done, I had to figure out what type of material the outfit would be. It was a lot of work, but I loved it. I loved sketching for hours, I loved the long hours of deciding what color the top should be or whether or not I should add an extra layer.

When the work day was over, I grabbed my jacket and headed out. It was gloomy out and I was sure it would rain later on. If it rained then there was sure to be snow by next week. I had always loved winter but it winter was drawn out, I was getting tired of the freezing weather.
Josh was right, he was home. He was sitting on the couch, his laptop resting on his legs, he had his earphones in. He hadn't even noticed that I had walked in. From the looks of it, he was working on his music, and I didn't want to bother him. I took my jacket off and walked into the room, setting it in the closet. I laid on the bed and closed my eyes. I pressed a hand to my forehead, furrowing at the slight pain.

"Eden, how come you didn't say-"

"Hi." I replied quickly. I sat up a bit, resting on my elbows. He smiled a little and walked over to the foot of the bed, he sat next to me, I leaned up to peck his lips quickly. I couldn't help but feel bad, what Josh had said yesterday was partially true. I didn't exactly go out of my way to talk to him. I wouldn't speak unless he would talk to me first.

"How was work?" He asked, resting his hand on my thigh. I looked down at his hand, and then back up at him.

"It was ok. Drew a couple sketches, that's it." I replied. He nodded, "Well, my mom called, she wants us to come over for dinner, I told her I would have to ask you first, so do you want to go?" He asked, his eyes looked hopeful and there was a small smile on his lips.
I didn't really feel like it, but I didn't want to disappoint Josh.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Ok, cool." He kissed my cheek, "I'm going to hop in the shower, we'll leave in about half an hour?" I nodded once more. I got off the bed and went to change into something more comfortable. When Josh got out the shower, I went to fix my hair and retouch my make up. I grabbed my coat and scarf before following Josh outside. It was raining pretty hard. I put my hood on and rushed to the car. The drive to Josh's parent's house wasn't too long, we were there in about 30 minutes.

"Eden." Josh's mom greeted. She had a sweet smile playing on her lips. She extended her arms and I walked over to her, hugging her softly. She held me for a while, patting my back. When she pulled away she frowned a little,

"What's wrong, honey? Have you been sleeping?" She asked, her gaze focused on my eyes. I looked away from her.

"I'm just a bit tired, that's all." I reassured. She nodded and lead us to the dining room. Josh grasped my hand in his and gave it a firm squeeze. We waited for Josh's father to get home, once he did, dinner started. The four of us sat at the dinner table, I thought it felt a bit awkward.

"How are you, Eden?" Josh's father asked. I looked up from my plate of food, I glanced at his dad for a brief moment,

"I'm ok." I mumbled, "How are you?" He didn't seem to satisfied with my answer, there was small frown on his face.

"Are you sure, honey?" He asked, quieter this time.

"Dad." Josh said in a warning tone, he looked over at me with a cautious gaze.

"Sorry." His father apologized quickly.

I shrugged a shoulder, "Its fine, really." The three of them engaged in a conversation and I made sure to stay quiet. I could never have a normal conversation, no one ever knew how to speak to me. They usually just asked me if I was doing well. I hated it. I wouldn't mind talking about the weather, or anything else. I would enjoy discussing everyday things, but instead all I got was annoying questions.

"Eden, eat up." Beth spoke up, I nodded slightly, I took a bite out of my biscuit and played around with my pasta.
Once dinner was over, I helped Beth with the dishes. She stayed quiet for the most part, which made me feel nervous.

"How's work?" She asked.

"It's going good. We're actually working on some pieces to have in one of those Scotland fashion shows."

Her face lit up, "Oh, that's great." She asked me a couple more questions about work, and for once I was actually comfortable answering them.
"And you and Josh, how are you two?"

That question made me feel uneasy. We were obviously not doing well, I didn't even want to talk to the guy half the time.
She sensed my hesitation and she sighed a little,

"Talking really helps." She said softly, I furrowed my eyebrows together, "You have to talk to Josh sometime, Eden. You don't know how much you're hurting him." I couldn't believe he told his mom that I didn't talk to him.

"Yeah," I said, trying my hardest not show how mad I was, "I will, its just hard sometimes." I was telling the truth, it wasn't easy to talk to Josh, and that was mostly why I didn't speak to him, I knew it was hard for him, but I was going through things too.

I slammed the car door and jogged over to the front door, opening it quickly, I walked into our room and closed the door behind me.

"What's with you?" Josh asked from the other side of the door. I took a couple deep breaths before I answered,

"You told your mom... About how I don't talk to you, why would you do that?" I asked loudly. I didn't need other people knowing about our relationship problems.

"Well, what the fuck did you want me to do? You won't talk to me and I needed someone to speak to." I stayed silent. I didn't want him to go spreading our personal lives around. People already felt bad for me as it is, I don't need people pitying me because I'm having relationship problems.

I heard Josh sigh, "Open the door, Eden." I didn't move a muscle, I didn't want to see him, and I didn't want to carry on talking about this either. He knocked on the door a couple times,

"Eden, please." I looked over at the door, "Open the door, babe." I rolled my eyes and groaned loudly as I walked over to the door, I unlocked it and went back to sit on the bed.
He looked worn out, and I didn't blame him, arguing over things was quite draining. I slipped my pants off and pulled my shirt over my head. I rummaged in my closet for something warm and comfortable to wear.
I got into bed and pulled the covers over my body.

"Figures." Josh stated, "We're not going to talk, huh?" I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off,

"Yeah, you don't feel like talking, I get it." He shook his head and walked out the room, it wasn't long before I heard him leaving the apartment, I knew he must have been really mad if he actually left. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face, things were getting out of hand.