We Will Never Be the Same

"You're showing," Josh beamed. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around, facing my whole body to him. I had just got the shower, only wearing a light pink towel.

"I'm fat?" I asked slowly, my feelings were a bit hurt and I could my eyes starting to water. Josh's smile faded,

"No...no. I-I didn't mean it like that, Eden."

"Then?" I sniffled. I grasped my the top of my towel and held it tightly against me. There was one thing that was for sure, I was very emotional. Maybe too emotional. I wasn't like this when I was pregnant with Sophia.
My mom said it was normal, apparently she was 'happy go lucky' when she was pregnant with me but when she was pregnant with Amanda, she was an emotional wreck. She also said I would probably start showing around 5 months; she was right, I was into my second week in the five month mark. I had noticed the changes but I had sort of brushed them off. The first 4 months of my pregnancy weren't very fun, I had morning sickness every single damn day. I was a bit annoyed and I wasn't sure how long I would have to deal with it before it started to get easy.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, love." Josh stood and walked over to me, he outstretched his arms and I backed away a little.

"It's true, though." I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath in, "I'm fat."

"You're pregnant, Eden." Josh smiled, "It's only right that you gain weight, you have to make room for the baby." I sighed a bit and looked up at him, my heart fluttered at the sight of his big smile.

"You always know what to say." I chuckled, "I'm sorry.

"I try," He grinned, "And its fine, babe."He leaned down to press his lips against my temple. "Now go get dressed, we have to go look at some houses today." I nodded and walked towards the dresser. Once I had changed and fixed my hair, we headed out. I enjoyed the summer sun, closing my eyes stretching out a bit in the passenger seat.

The first house we were looking at wasn't too far from where we living now, which I liked because then I wouldn't be too far from work. It was such a cute little house, with a porch, a decent front yard, and a nice sized garage.

"Looks good so far." Josh shrugged, I nodded in agreement. I reached for his hand, linking our fingers together tightly. There was two other couples who were viewing the house, which didn't go so well with Josh,

"They're old. Why the heck do the want to live so close to town?" Josh raised his eyebrows, I laughed a bit before elbowing him softly,

"Oh, stop," I smiled, "We don't even know if we like this place yet." Josh rolled his eye dramatically and leaned down to kiss my temple. We walked into the kitchen which was bigger than the one we had now.

"The living room is a nice size." I said.

"There's a fireplace." Josh pointed out. We went about looking through the rest of the house, I knew we had more houses to see but this one was perfect. There was three rooms, which was more than enough. Also, the backyard was amazing.

"I love it." I whispered to Josh. His eyes widened, "We have more to see."

"I know!" I mumbled, "But what if I don't like the others? Let's just put an offer down." I looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Eden." He said slowly, I could see that he was thinking it through.

"The others are further away! I won't be close to my parents & you'll be even further away from your parents. What's there not to like? You can have your so desired 'man cave' here, and I can decorate the backyard with lots of cute out-doorsy things!" I smiled, "And......I don't know, " I blushed, "I can see us here." I motioned to my tummy and then to Josh.

"Fine, " He sighed, "We'll put an offer down but we're still going to see the other places, Eden."

"Ok, ok!" I bounced on my heels in excitement. After we put an offer down, Josh almost had to drag me out so that we could go see the other places.

I was feeling really good because the other three houses we went out to see were definitely not for us, either the rooms were too small, or didn't seem family friendly. Josh seemed to take a liking to them all, I figured it was because they were like 'bachelor pads'.

"This more like a condo, " I said quietly, as we were leaving the last place,

"I like it." Josh smiled.

"Yeah, it would be fine if you were living on your own." I rolled my eyes.

"What do you mean? It had two rooms."

"They weren't very big," I sighed, " I don't think we're going to find a place that we agree on." I was over today, maybe I was being dramatic, but I was tired and my feet were starting to hurt, plus Josh & I weren't agreeing on anything. I wanted him to like the house I liked because I thought it was perfect, for the three of us.

I was walking ahead of Josh, scrolling through my phone, trying to find something to distract me. Josh unlocked the car, I got in and played around with the radio, trying to find something decent to listen to.

"You're being awfully quiet."

"Oh?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm a bit annoyed, honestly. I thought we would agree on the first house and its in our price range and still close to our family and friends." I shrugged my shoulders a bit.

"We can look at more houses."

"But I want to move out of our flat as soon as possible and that won't happen if we have to keep looking at new places. Why don't you like the first house?"I asked.

"It was.....too family-like, I dunno, " He shrugged, "Its hard to explain."

"Too family-like?" I raised an eyebrow, "Well, then what the bloody hell are we? We're about to have a baby, we're starting a family. Sorry that some condo on the upper east side isn't my idea of a family home, Josh." I scoffed.

"We already put a bloody offer down at the house you like, so what are you complaining about?" I could tell that he was starting to get heated.

"That doesn't mean we'll get the house, we have to get approved and...........never mind." I sighed, "Just take me home, I'm tired." When we got home I changed out of my dress and into comfy shirts and an over sized shirt. I sat on our bed, scrolling mindlessly through a news website on my laptop. I thought for a moment, was I at wrong? Maybe I could have avoided this whole thing if I didn't get so excited about the first house, but it was just so perfect for us. There was no way we would ever end up living there if Josh didn't like it, there was no way I could convince him.