We Will Never Be the Same

I had expected Josh to come home after an hour or so, but he never did. I couldn't sleep so I decided I would go for a walk. It wasn't raining anymore, but it was definately cold. I slipped my pink rainboots on and stepped out into the wet sidewalk. I walked the way I usually I walked, away from home, my destination for tonight was the park. Of course, only crazy people went to the park at night, but that didn't really bother me. My mind was blank as I made my way across the slippery pavement. I tried not to think about Josh, I tried not to think about our problems. I tried, but Josh was always on my mind, whether I wanted him to be there or not. The park was quite deserted, no homeless person in sight. I walked up the wet grassy knoll. I stood there, right at the top, staring at the bright stars. Everything seemed so simple then, I felt carefree.

Maybe that's what I needed, to just get away for a while. To be carefree for just a couple days. I wanted to get away, from everything and everyone. I shook my head a little, trying to rid my mind of all my thoughts.
I slowly, made my way down the knoll, slipping a little. I wanted to keep walking, to someplace new, but I figured I should be making my way home. My little walk had calmed my nerves a little, and I wasn't quite as mad as before. I frowned a little, I knew Josh was mad at me, and I didn't really want to deal with him. I spotted his car in front of the house, making me frown even more. I sighed softly, taking out my keys and opening the door.
I walked in and looked around, not spotting Josh in the living room or kitchen. I walked into the bedroom, keeping my gaze on the floor as I leaned over to pull my boots off.

I wanted to ask him where he went, but I wasn't too sure on how to approach him. Things were so tense between us and it annoyed me to above and beyond.

"When are these late night walks going to stop?" He asked. I let myself look up, he was laying in bed, the tv remote in his hands, he wasn't looking at me, his gaze transfixed on the tv screen. Walking took my mind off of things, sure it wasn't very safe but it did help.

I shrugged my shoulders, I watched him as he frowned, he met my gaze, I looked away quickly.

"You can make me so mad sometimes." He muttered. I didn't answer. I just stripped out of my clothes and changed into my PJ's

"I don't mean to." I said quietly. I got into bed and let my back face him. I felt his hand on my hip, I wanted to snuggle into his body but I resisted.

I felt his voice against my neck, "Just try and talk to me every once and a while, Eden." He pressed his warm lips to the shell of my ear, "please." I could only nod, that didn't sound too hard, but I knew once it came to it, I would hesitate.

"Where did you go?" I whispered.

"Just drove around." He sighed, "and I'm sorry." I shrugged,

"Its fine, I guess. I just don't need people knowing about our personal lives, Josh. Its hard enough with everything else going on." I turned so that I was on my back, "I'll try harder, I promise." I said in a small voice, looking up into his bright eyes.

He cradled my face in his hands and leaned down to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer to me. His hands grasped my hips, I moaned a little as he played with the hem of my pants.

"Its late, let's go to sleep." Josh muttered into my neck. I was glad we didn't go any further, I wasn't ready to have sex... again. I laid my head on Josh's chest, listening to his heartbeat. I closed my eyes and wrapped an arm around his torso,

"Eden?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

I smiled a little, "I love you, too, Josh."

"Oh, man." He smiled a little, "I'm sorry." I sighed in annoyance, I looked down at my floral patterned dress, the spilled iced coffee was starting to form a wet splotch. I didn't have the time to be bumping into people. I had things to do, people to please.

"Its fine." I leaned over the counter to grab some napkins. I dabbed at the wet spot, it wasn't helping any. Great, now I have to walk around with a wet spot on my dress.

"I really am sorry." He repeated. I looked up at him slightly, his eyes were a nice blue and he had a cute smile. His hair was messy, sticking out in different directions.

"Totally fine, " I grumbled, "Don't even worry about it." I gave him a fake smile before making my way out of the cafe. I walked into the building, trying to hide the wet spot with the tray of coffee in my hands. I was determined to work my way up, I was tired of being an 'errand girl', going to fetch coffee, making copies, passing out mail, it was all boring and it wasn't getting me anywhere.
I could smell the coffee with every step I took, there was an ugly blotch on my dress. I was supposed to meet my friend at a local venue for a concert. I turned the corner, passing various shops. It was quite dark out, and I sort of regretted not waiting for the bus. I could hear music blaring from the venue. I didn't really want to be out since I looked like an idiot.

"Eden, come on!" Cherry grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hot venue. I shrugged off my cardigan and followed her, she pulled me through the crowd so that we were standing in the heart of the pit.

"Ok, see that guy? That's Matt, the guy I've been seeing." She shouted over the music. I nodded, smiling slightly. I didn't know the band, so I wasn't very into it, they weren't terrible or anything, I just wasn't feeling it. I looked over at the singer, he looked familiar. Oh, the idiot who spilled coffee on me earlier. I glared a little, even though I knew he couldn't see me. After the show, Cherry dragged me off once again, this time she took somewhere backstage.

"Hey, its you." The guy from the cafe said, a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah." I nodded.

Cherry looked from me to the guy, "You two know each other?"

"He spilled iced coffee on me this morning." I sighed, pointing at my dress.

"I said I was sorry."

"I know." Cherry wouldn't let me leave, even though the last thing I wanted to do was spend time with people I didn't know. Cherry left me alone, while she went to talk to Matt.

"I'm Josh, by the way." The guy said.

"Eden."

"That's nice." I could only nod, feeling a bit awkward.

"You don't seem too happy." He stated.

I smiled, "I'm not, I'm cold, my dress has a stain in it, I'm tired, and all I want to do is go home."

He frowned, "I really am sorry, you know, it isn't like I did it on purpose, and-"

I laughed, "It's fine, I was only kidding." I took out my phone, checking the time. I looked over at Cherry, who was snuggled into Matt's side.

"Well, I should get going. It's getting late. Nice talking to you, Josh." I said, he smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile in return. I said bye to Cherry before leaving. Getting home didn't take too long, which was a relief.
With Cherry going steady with Matt, it meant I spent more and more time with them, and everyone else in the band. Josh had grew on me, I had found myself starting to form a small crush on him. Then one night, we were both a little drunk and ended up making out, I had regretted it the next day, thinking it would ruin our friendship. Josh asked me out the next day, and I couldn't say no.