We Will Never Be the Same

I was frantically trying to get everything ready before Josh came home. I might have put our plans on hold, plans that Josh seemed very excited about. I hadn't done it on purpose, I caught a bad cold. So bad that my mom was watching the girls because I didn't want them to get sick. Also, my body ached, so the last thing I wanted to do was get up every three hours to feed, calm, or change a baby. Earlier, I told Josh that I was feeling better, we could do whatever he had planned and then pick the girls up on the way back.

That was only this morning, in the following hours, I was running a fever and a bad headache. So, Josh went over to my parents' place to drop off an extra day of clothes for the girls. That was enough time to make pasta and to set the patio table. Josh looked a little disappointed when I said I couldn't go out, I just felt too sick.

I went out to the patio, setting the table and turning out the little white lights that hung over head. I was trying to decide if I wanted to change out of my pjs, but I figured Josh wouldn't mind. I walked back into the house, going into the bathroom. Well, I for sure looked like I was sick. I frowned at my messy hair, it was too late to hop into the shower and then blow dry it after. I combed through it quickly, trying to get to stay down. Too late to make up on now too, I thought. I had bags under my eyes and my nose was red from blowing it an excessive amount. I heard Josh's car pull into the driveway.

I made my way into the living room, making sure to remind myself that Josh doesn't ever mind when I look a little sleepy, or sick in this case.

"You're up." He stated, hanging his keys up and shrugging his jacket off, "Are you cooking?" He asked, walking over to me. I nodded,

"It's done, let's eat outside."

"Put a sweater on."

"I feel hot." I mumbled, walking into the kitchen and grabbing the pasta.

"It's chilly out." He came over, lightly pressing the back of his hand on my forehead, "I'll get your sweater."

I started to protest, "But I'm h-" He leaned over to kiss me and I pulled away quickly.

"Josh! I'm sick!" I frowned up at his smiling face. "So let me get that sweater of yours, you won't get better if you're freezing." I sighed, nodding at him.

"Okay, hurry." I walked outside and set the food down, taking a seat and pouring myself a drink. Josh emerged, he made his way to me, motioning me to get up. He held my sweater out as I stuck my arms through the sleeves.

"Thank you." He kissed the top of my head before retreating to the other side of the table. He was examining the contents of the table, his eyes met mine and he smiled.

"What's all this, Eden?" He asked, "If I wasn't so hungry I might be a little mad at you for getting out of bed." I pushed his plate of pasta towards and set his glass down after I was done pouring his drink.

"I felt bad," I sat down, "I know you wanted to go out, you seemed really eager about it. I would've made something better but I wanted it to be done before you got back."

He already had a mouth full of pasta, and I giggled as he tried to finish chewing before responding.

"I think this is great, thank you." I nodded, starting on my own food. Josh was done eating way before I was, it was fairly quiet but it wasn't awkward.

"Where were you going to take me?" I asked. He leaned back in his chair, smiling slightly.

"Some fancy place."

"Darn. Should I have at least put jeans on?" I teased, " I was going to try and hide the bags under my eyes but there was no time." Josh laughed a little, leaning over to grasp my hands in his.

"No, I like you just as you are."

I raised my eyebrows and rolled my eyes playfully, "Even with a red nose?" He gave my hands a squeeze,

"God, yes." He grinned, "It suits you." I laughed

"So? You wanted to go out to tell me something, right? So tell me." I gave him a slight nod, beckoning him to go ahead. I was thinking the worst, the worst being that Josh would have to leave soon. Of course, I wasn't going to stop him. I just wanted him to be home with me and the girls. I also didn't know how I was gonna handle twin babies and starting work again. I know my parents would help, but there's only so much they can do. Josh untangled his hands from mine, making me a bit nervous.

He had a worried expression etched across his face, or maybe he was nervous. I sat back in my chair, waiting for him to answer.

"Just tell me, please." I tried to sound calm, but I might have sounded a little apprehensive. "Are you leaving?"

"Not yet," He said quietly, "Do you want to head in now?" I shook my head, I was cold, and snuggling into my warm sheets sounded amazing but I wanted to know what Josh was planning on telling me. Sure, we weren't at some nice restaurant but I don't see why he couldn't just tell me here, at home.

"I won't go in, unless you tell me." I argued. He ignored my little inflexible comment, he reached his hand out to me. I glanced at it briefly before looking up at him, shaking my head.

"You're sick, Eden. Come inside with me." From his tone, I knew he didn't want to go any further with the conversation, only making me more curious.

"Tell me, it'll take less than five minutes, I'm sure." I begged, "I'm sure I wont die if we stay out a little longer." He grimaced at my last comment.

"You were going to tell me tonight, anyways. What difference does it make that we're at home instead of at a restaurant?" I asked quickly, hoping he would just give in.

Once again, my questions and comments were ignored, "Get up now, come on." He reached his hand out once more, and like before I decided not to take it.

"Josh, I'm dying to know." I dragged out the 'Y' in dying for extra emphasis. I was getting a little annoyed at Josh, why wouldn't he just tell me?

"Tell me," I stood up and walked over to him, thinking of ways to get it out of him. "Or I'll kiss you." That was good enough, who wants to kiss some sick girl?

"Eden, all I ever want to do is kiss you, so go ahead." He smiled down at me, reaching forward to rest his hands on my hips. He squeezed lightly, before pulling me closer to him.

"But I'm sick, so." I objected, "You want to be sick too?" He only nodded, he started pushing backwards, towards the house.

"Josh!" I exclaimed, putting my hands on his chest to stop him, "Tell me right now." I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to break away from him. Josh was adamant, he didn't say one word. I sighed in annoyance and turned to walk in the house. What is he trying to keep from me?

"You're not going to be mad at me now, are you?" He asked, closing in behind me. I didn't bother to turn around and look at him.

"Maybe." I huffed. He laughed. He was laughing at me, and for what? I made it into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Josh stopped at the doorway, leaning against it's frame.

"Why are you laughing at me?" He was starting to irritate me now. He shrugged slightly, the smirk never leaving his lips.

"You're silly, that's why." I rolled my eyes. I was going to drop it because I knew if I had any chance of getting it out of him, it would have already happened. I got up and walked to my side of the bed.

"I'm going to bed." I stated dully.

"Aw, come on." Josh chuckled, I glared at him before getting into bed and making sure I was facing away from him. I was going to get it out of him, eventually.

"Are you mad?" I didn't move, hoping he would just leave me alone. "Eden." I groaned loud enough for him to hear.

"Leave me alone and then maybe I won't be mad." I mumbled into my pillow. I could hear his footsteps approaching my side of the bed. I shut my eyes quickly. He grabbed hold of my hands, I peeked through my lashes and saw him leaning down so that he was eye level with me.

"No, I don't want you to be mad at me at all."His voice was low but vehement, he inhaled deeply. His eyes were piercing into mine, and I scooted farther back on the bed, confused.

"Alrighty." I nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow at him. Josh still looked nervous but a little eager.

"Okay," I sat up, " I'll forget about it, I'm not mad." With that, I thought he would get up and go about the rest of his night. He didn't move, he was holding my hand tightly now.

"What's with you?" I asked slowly, pondering what was going through his mind. He got up and I shook my head at how odd he was acting. He went to his bedside table and I laid back in bed, pulling the covers back up.

"I was going to give you this." He mumbled, I looked over at him. He was holding a tiny box in his hands.

"I was trying to make it romantic. I know you said you aren't mad, but I know you still are." He was fidgeting with the box in his hands. "So, maybe today didn't go as planned but I've been meaning to ask you way before the girls were born, I got close but then they decided it was time for you to go into labor." He chuckled. I was confused, but my heart had started to beat rapidly. Is he actually doing what I think he's doing?

"So," He nodded, opening the box quickly, "I love you, and I was wondering..." He stammered, he met my eyes and looked away quickly, "If you want to get married?"

"Oh, my god." I sat up. My hands covered my face as I started to cry.

"What?!" He pleaded, "What's wrong?"

"I look horrible!" I dropped my hands and wiped at my cheeks. He looked confused and he came over to sit on the bed, inches away from me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at me, Josh! " I exclaimed. "Now every time you think back on the time you proposed to me you'll remember how horrible I looked, that I was sick, and that my hair was messy!" I sniffled.

He engulfed me in a big hug, "Oh, Eden." I was still crying, only just a little. Josh pulled away, "That's why you're crying? Not because you don't want this?" He whispered. His eyes were wide and hopeful.

"Of course I want this." I responded, wrapping my arms around his neck. I buried my face into the crook of his neck. He was chuckling now, his arms wrapped themselves around my back.

"Here." I moved slightly, looking down at the box in his hands. I let out small squeal, it was absolutely enthralling.

"It's shaped like a heart." I said, mostly to myself. Josh grabbed my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger. I stared at it for a bit.

"It's so cute." I whispered, I looked up at him, "I love it, I really do."

"I'm glad, your mom and sister helped me pick it out."

"Thank you." I smiled brightly, feeling overjoyed. That's it, he was going to propose to me. I couldn't collect my thoughts, my mind was stuck in a state of elation. His right hand came up and caressed my face before sliding down to my neck.

"I want to kiss you now," He was staring at me intensely. "And I don't care if you're sick." I bit my lip in response, looking away from his eyes and staring at his mouth.

"I'd like that."