We Will Never Be the Same

I was running around the apartment, searching for my keys and bag. I was supposed to be at work by now, we were hopping on a plane to Paris in about an hour for the fashion show. I had really worked my ass off on the designs. I consumed myself in work, and it really did take my mind off of things. I had been working really hard for the last two weeks, and I was quite excited to see how everything would work out at the show. I walked into the room slowly, hoping that I wouldn't wake Josh up. I got on my knees and extended my arm, fishing around under the bed. I grasped my keys and retrieved them quickly. I stood up and did a 360, hoping to see my bag lying around. I sighed quickly, running a hand through my hair, I was late already, the last thing I needed was to stay home another hour trying to look for my bag. I walked back out into the living room, walking around quickly, desperately trying to find my bag. I spotted it under the dining table. I grabbed it quickly, I quickly walked back into the room, slinging the bag over my shoulder. I walked over to the bed, shaking Josh's shoulder slightly. He stirred and mumbled something incoherent.

"I'm leaving now, Josh. I'll call you when we land, ok?" I asked quickly. He nodded while he sat up quickly and pressed his lips against my forehead.

"I love you."

I smiled a little, "I love you, too, Josh." I kissed his cheek before heading out. I got to the office in no time, I had to apologize constantly for being late. I was excited to be going to Paris, mostly because that meant I would be away from everyone I knew. A little break from my family would be a good thing.

Arabella was a bit more nervous than I was, but it was understandable. She sat next to me on the plane, I calmed her down, telling her the fashion show would go on fine, and that if we were lucky, then maybe we could do a couple pieces for the New York fashion week.

"Oh, I almost forgot, this is Kelly." Arabella pointed to the brunette sitting in front of us. She turned and had a small smile on her face,

"Hi, nice to meet you." She looked a bit familiar.

"I'm Eden." Her smile faltered a bit, and then she seemed to be in deep thought. "Oh, you're that girl." I was oddly silent for a short moment. What was she talking about?

I raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?" I tried my hardest to keep my tone normal. She bit her lip nervously. Arabella coughed loudly, I looked over at her quickly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, it just slipped out." She said quickly, stumbling over her words slightly. I sat back into my chair, looking away from the girl, I stared out the window. My heart felt weird, and for some reason I felt embarrassed. I felt my throat tighten, and I knew if I didn't get it together, I would for sure start crying. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. I stayed silent through the whole airplane ride. When we got to the hotel, I had felt a tad bit better.

"I'm just going to go put my stuff away, I'll be right back." I told Arabella, as she handed me my room key.
She smiled softly, "Don't worry about it, go take a rest. The show isn't for another couple hours. We have everything covered."

"But-"

"Really, Eden, you've done enough." She patted my shoulder. I didn't fight it any longer, I was glad that she knew that time alone was what I really needed. I walked over to the bed and sat down, I just sat there, my head in my hands. I leaned over to pick my bag off the floor, I grabbed my phone and dialed Josh's number. He didn't answer, and I was a bit disappointed. I had actually really wanted to talk to him. I laid down, with my arm covering my eyes. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself into sleep.
My phone went off and I reached over quickly, grabbing it off the nightstand.

"Josh." I breathed quickly.

He laughed a little, "Hey, babe. Sorry I didn't answer, I was in the shower. So, you guys landed already?" he asked.

"It's ok, and yeah, we're actually at the hotel now." I replied. It was quiet for a moment, "I miss you, Josh." I blurted out without thinking. It still quiet on the other end.

"I miss you, too, babe. But it's only for two more days." He reassured. Then I felt the tears brim my eyes, I wiped them away quickly and I sniffled, rubbing my nose.

"Eden? Are you crying?" I didn't respond, instead I just let out a shaky breath, "Don't cry, Eden. I'll see you in two days, it'll go by in no time."

"It isn't that," I replied, my voice cracked, "Well, not really." I laid back down on the bed, wiping away stray tears.
"This girl-...." I stopped talking, trying to calm my nerves, "She-" And then I really started to cry, full on sobbing, I wiped under my nose and wiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt.

"What girl?" He asked, sounding concerned and a little confused.

"It's just.. I'm tired of people who keep bringing it up, I don't want to be reminded about how-" I stopped myself, I couldn't say it, I could even bear to think about it.

"I'm sorry." Josh whispered. "I wish I was there to make you feel better." He's sorry. Well, that didn't really make me feel any better. Josh always seemed as if this exact subject didn't bother him anymore, and that bothered me. Josh was never really good at hiding his emotions, so I knew for sure he wasn't feeling as sad as I felt.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "But you're not." I sat up, placing a hand to my head, all my crying had caused a headache. "I have to go. I'll call you later." I hung up quickly, Josh never really helped me when we talked, if anything; he only made me doubt him. He never seemed to relate to my emotions, and that sort of hurt.
Sometimes, I just needed someone to understand; for them to feel the way I feel. I knew that just sitting here wasn't going to help so I walked into the bathroom, turned on the hot water, and stripped out of clothes. I stayed in the shower for a while, just letting the water fall over me. When I got out I decided to go to Arabella's room. She opened the door quickly, a smile on her face,

"Come on in." She stepped to the side to let me into the room. She had most of the pieces in her room, while she sent the other half to the venue where the show was happening. I was glad to see that Kelly wasn't in the room. The thing that I liked about Arabella was that she never really brought up my past. She was those kinds of people who acted as if nothing really happened, which I liked. We went over a couple more things about a couple pieces of clothing before heading out and driving to the venue.