We Will Never Be the Same

I started working for Arabella Wayne when I was 18, straight out of college. I had been going to school for design, nothing specific but I knew I wanted to do something with fashion. My mom had forced me to be an intern at Arabella's office. I didn't really want to because she was a pretty big fashion designer. She was well known in the U.K. I started from the bottom, I retrieved everyone's mail, I got everyone coffee. Then one day one of Arabella's designers had gotten sick days before a big show. She reluctantly asked me if I could help her with a couple designs. A couple weeks after that, Arabella gave me a huge promotion. I was happy to be designing and finally working hands on with fashion.

I had met Josh when I was 18, when I was just an intern. As embarrassing as it sounds, Josh was my first boyfriend. Sure, boys had asked me out through high school, but I was never really interested. My only focus at the time was school and I didn't need a boy to come distract me. Josh had said he had just gotten out of a relationship months prior, that didn't really bother me. He seemed completely over her. I couldn't say Josh wasn't my type because I never really had one, it was quite odd that I had actually liked him, I wasn't really looking for a relationship. After a month or so of just being friends, we went to party where Cherry had forced me to 'let go'; meaning I got shit faced. The only thing I remembered from that night was Josh and I kissing. When he had asked me out the next day, I was nervous as ever, I could barely get an answer out. I didn't even know why he liked me, but I said yes.

I had never had any experience with boys in my life so when it came to being in a relationship with Josh, I was bit embarrassed and confused about most things. Naturally, I was a shy person, so it was hard for me to get used to having a boyfriend. I would get a rush of electricity every time Josh held my hand, or I would blush madly after he kissed me.

One night, after of You Me At Six's shows, I went over to Josh's house, his parents were away; which left us completely alone. We had only been together for about 4 months. As we made out on Josh's bed, I knew what this was leading to. Josh had never pressured me to do anything I didn't want to, and this had always happened. We would make out and I would cut it short before it would go too far. This time it was different, I felt different. I needed Josh, the thought having sex with Josh made my insides weak.
His hands were at my hips, while his lips were leaving soft kisses on my neck. A small sigh slipped from my lips, making me blush. He let his hand snake its way further up my back, toying the back of my bra. He pulled away quickly, a confused expression on his face,

"What?" I asked in a short breath.

"Nothing, I just...Well, you didn't stop me..." I leaned up and grasped his face in my hands, bringing him closer to me. I traced his bottom lip with my tongue, his mouth opened slowly, our tongues pressed against each other heatedly. It was all so foreign, I had never kissed Josh like this and I was starting to get nervous because I thought I was doing it wrong. After countless minutes of kissing and touching, all of our clothes laid on Josh's bedroom floor.

My nerves were starting to rise as Josh leaned over me to retrieve a condom. He pressed his lips to mine softly, "We don't have to, Eden." he mumbled against my skin, I guess he sensed my hesitation.

"No, I want to." I said with a smile, "It's just...Well, I've never done this so I mean it might be a crappy time for you." I stuttered.

He grinned, "This is going to be great, stop worrying." He whispered into my neck.