We Will Never Be the Same

I didn't cry when we got into the car; away from my family. I was just really embarrassed. I knew Josh would ask me of I was ok and I would have to lie and say I was. But, I really wasn't, as much as I wanted to deny that my mom was wrong. She was right, just a little. I knew it was wrong to feel jealous of my own little sister, but I was. I was happy for her, believe me, but deep down I felt anger.

"Eden?" I looked away from the window and over to Josh, "Yeah?" I pondered, looking away from him. He reached his hand out and laced our fingers together, squeezing gently. I smiled a little, "Sorry about my mom." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry about your mom, too. Does she realize that the things she says are hurtful?" Probably not. My mom said what she wanted to say even if she knew it would hurt your feelings. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, breathing in the cold misty air.

I had been sick for quite some time, I figured it was because I ate something that upset my stomach. I was moping around in my room, sleeping for the most part. My mom barged into my room, looking at me fiercely, "You've been cooped up in your room for three days. Go do something productive."

"Mom, I don't feel good." I replied, hiding under my covers. I had been doing productive things, hanging out with Josh, hanging out with Cherry, going to work. Josh had left for tour about two days ago and Cherry was on holiday in Italy. Arabella was nice enough to give me an extra day off so that I could rest.

"It's all that junk food you eat. Now get up!" She snapped before shutting my bedroom door loudly. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I really needed to start looking for flats. I was 22 and still living with my parents. I was getting fed with my mom, she bossed me around as if I were still 5. I trotted down the stairs loudly, I walked into the kitchen where I smelled food. I saw my mom at the counter cutting onions, my dad was outside grilling steak.

"Drink some tea. You'll feel better." My mom advised. I nodded, I got a good whiff of the onions and scrunched up my nose, I felt a bit light headed, before I knew it I was throwing up in the nearby trash bin, much to my mother's dismay.

"Eden, for crying out loud!"

"It was the onions. " I mumbled, feeling embarrassed. She quirked an eyebrow, "The onions made you vomit? You didn't even take a bite-" She stopped talking quickly, "The smell of the onions?" I nodded slowly, I was quite confused when she glared at me, she stomped out of the kitchen. I heard her car start up and I went into the living room to see her drive off.
I had no clue where she went and she had left so quickly, I hesitantly took the trash bag and walked outside to throw it into the dumpster. I walked into my bathroom so that I could brush my teeth. When my mom came back home, she came straight to my room, a small bag in her hands.

"Here." She dropped it on the foot of my bed, "You better hope it isn't positive, Eden." I gave her a confused glance, she sighed and walked out of my room. I leaned forward, reaching into the bag, I pulled out a pregnancy test. I was bit annoyed that she thought I was pregnant. I couldn't be, Josh and I always used protection and it wasn't as if he had sex like wild rabbits. Then again, condoms could break, and I wasn't on birth control so it was totally possible. It would explain my constant nausea . I walked back into my bathroom, I took the test and paced my room as I waited. What was I going to do? I still lived at home with my parents, for crying out loud. I wouldn't be mad if I were, I would surprised and little nervous but it wasn't like I was a teenager. I had a job and I was capable of living on my own, the only thing that I was sure of was Josh. We had only been together for a year and some months and we never discussed children, it was obviously too early in the relationship to talk about things of that sort. I also had my mother to worry about.
She walked into my room, not even glancing at me, she walked into my bathroom, looking down onto the counter. "Are you stupid, Eden?" She asked. I didn't know how to answer, "You do know about protection, don't you?"

"We used protection-"

"Obviously not if you're pregnant." I stayed silent because I knew that responding to her was getting me nowhere.

"You're not even married, Eden. Not even engaged. You think it's okay to have a child out of wedlock?" She asked. My mom was a devout Catholic. I should have seen it coming, she was going to give me shit for having a baby and not being married. I was 22, marriage wasn't very high on my to-do list.

"Well?" She snapped. She left when I didn't answer. I thought over my response, either way I was going to piss her off. I wasn't going to get married just because I was pregnant, and it shouldn't be such a big deal since I'm an adult and I'm fully capable of taking care of a child.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I'm not going to get married because you think it's the right thing to do." The look on her face said it all, she was pissed. She gave me a hard look before sighing, I walked away from her, into my bathroom. I closed the door quickly, hoping that it would make her go away. I pulled out my cellphone and thought about calling Josh. I wasn't so sure if this would be good or bad news for him. I wasn't so sure if telling him over the phone was a good idea, but I couldn't wait a whole two months to tell him face to face. I decided that I had to tell him know, or I would chicken out later on. I dialed his number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Eden, hey." I could hear the smile in his voice but that had only made me nervous. I stayed silent for a moment, taking a deep breath in, I was just going to blurt it out and get it over with.

"I'm pregnant."