Fire Escape

The entire drive back home was silent. So much tension filled the air around us that I thought I was going to suffocate, which might have been okay.

I parked the car then pulled out the key, immediately opening my door. I saw Paige hesitate for a moment, watching me before she opened the door and got out too.

She didn't love me.

I moved in slow motion, it seemed. The steps up to the front door looked like Everest and the door itself tripled in size. Paige slid off her jacket then perched herself on the bay window, looking out across the city.

"Is there somebody else?"

She looked away from the window and over to me, sliding off the seat and standing up. "What?"

"You heard me," I said, my voice rather calm. "Is there somebody else?"

"No. There's nobody else."

I nodded, slipping off my jacket as well and throwing it on the couch.

"What is this about?"

I sighed.

"Kris."

Finally turning to look at her, I felt myself frown as my eyes started to feel heavy, a rare moment for me. "Tell me. Tell me what you told Vero. I want to hear it. Tell me what you told her. Say it to my face."

She looked down, shaking her head slightly.

"Tell me, Paige. I want to hear you say it."

Letting out a shaky breath, she closed her eyes. "I don't love you anymore."

"That's all I needed to know," I replied. I looked at her for a moment and then made my way toward the bedroom.

"Aren't we going to talk about this?"

Stopping, I placed my hand on the doorframe and turned back slightly. "What is there to say?"

"You can't just avoid this."

"Why? You did."

I knew she was shaking her head again.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, turning back to face her.

"Nothing is wrong with you. I just... I'm just not in love with you anymore. You're everything that any girl could ever hope to find. I mean that. Everything. You're just not the one for me. I don't know how to explain it," she said through a sigh. "Somewhere along the way things just fell apart for me."

It took me a minute to take it all in. That was it, that was all there was to it. That was all she had to say.

I couldn't quite grasp that.

"You know, I used to stare at the ceiling in our room, unable to even fathom sleep. During the day I could sometimes ignore it, sometimes shove it aside, distract myself with other things. But when the lights were out and you were asleep, the thoughts came, and I couldn't stop them."

"What thoughts?"

"What I did wrong. Why you become so distant. How much longer I could take living like this--this constant state of pure, agonizing pain and aching. Everything," I told her. "Are you aware of the shape I'm in? My hands shake and my head spins when you're around. And to know that you don't feel the same..."

"I'm sorry I put you through that," she told me, still standing there. "I didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too," I mumbled.

I made a move to go to the bedroom but this time I was the one who stopped. "I love you, you know. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"I know you do," she said. "But I don't love you."

Paige's words were finally hitting me full force and I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, what could I do? If she didn't love me then she didn't love me.

I left her by the window and walked to the closet.

When I came back out she was already on her side of the bed. I pulled the shades up a little because I knew, like any other night, I wouldn't be getting much sleep, especially with what Paige had confessed.

"What now?"

I didn't move my head to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are we going to do now?"

"You don't love me. Isn't it obvious?"

She didn't say anything after that. She turned her back to me and yanked up the covers.

So there I was; back to staring at the ceiling.