Shelter

After the night Alex spent at Jack’s apartment, it had been happening more and more often. It was different because Alex had occasionally fallen asleep on Jack’s couch before, but now he was being invited to hang out and spend the night there. In Jack’s bed. With Jack. Not that they had been doing anything together; Alex was still hesitant on the whole boyfriend thing. Whenever Jack brought it up Alex would change the subject entirely. He was afraid he was hurting Jack by not giving in, but he wanted to hold his ground.

Alex had slept at his own house for once, hoping to sleep well, but he woke up early the next morning from a nightmare. He gasped as he was startled awake, his nightmare flashing before his eyes. He sat up in bed and yanked the covers off, realizing he was sweating. Whimpering softly to himself, Alex reached for his phone, taking deep breaths to try and calm his pounding heart. Seven o’clock in the morning. Way too early.

He felt like he was going to have an anxiety attack but he ignored it, and opened his text messages to scroll through them, squinting at the bright light from the phone. He smiled when he saw the goodnight text Jack had sent him last night, apparently after he had fallen asleep.

From: Jack
goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the nightmares bite ;-*

Alex rolled his eyes. Jack was such a dork. He scrolled up so he could read their conversation from the previous night.

From: Jack
I miss you :(

From: Alex
How can you miss me if I was just over there yesterday?

From: Jack
Because you aren’t here to sleep with me.

From: Alex
You’re ridiculous. Cuddle your pillow, goofball.

From: Jack
It’s not the same. By the way, I hate to bring it up but… would you hate me if I asked you to go out with me again?

From: Alex
I thought we agreed to avoid the whole dating topic.

From: Jack
I just want to take you out on a date, is that so much to ask?

From: Alex
Yes.

From: Jack
You’re so mean. I hate you.

From: Alex
So overdramatic. You know you wuv meee.

From: Jack
………

From: Alex
I’ll go on another date with you if it makes you happy, Jack.

From: Jack
Really? Cool. Later this week?

From: Alex
Sounds good. I’m gonna head to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight xo

Alex smiled slightly, putting the phone down as he closed his eyes. He dozed off for half an hour before he jerked awake, heart racing. Scowling and cussing to himself, he got out of bed and headed downstairs sleepily. He stumbled into the kitchen and saw that Rian was sitting at the counter, drinking coffee and looking at his phone.

“Morning,” Rian greeted. “Coffee’s done if you want some.”

“Mornin’. Thanks,” Alex mumbled, yawning and walking over to the coffee maker.

“So, what kind of mischief have you and Jack been getting into when you spend the night together?” Rian teased, wiggling his eyebrows at Alex.

Alex rolled his eyes, pouring coffee into a mug. “We aren’t having sex, Ri.”

“Have you ever done anything sexual?” Rian asked, surprised.

Alex shook his head, “No, we haven’t done anything. We’ve only made out once, and that’s when I was drunk.”

“Huh. Well, I won’t butt into your confusing relationship,” Rian said, shrugging. Alex sat down across from him, drinking his coffee silently. Rian finally spoke up, asking curiously, “Did you have any nightmares when you stayed the night with Jack?”

“No,” Alex said after thinking for a moment.

“Hmm…” Rian mused, a small smirk on his face.

“What?”

“Jack’s your safety net, Alex. Can’t you see that? You didn’t have any nightmares with him,” Rian teased lightly.

Alex groaned, standing up. “Not this again.”

“I’m just concerned about you, okay? I don’t want to see you going through all these nightmares, and you and I both know that Jack helps you. You need to let him help you get rid of these things,” Rian sighed.

“You’re just sick of my nightmares and want to get rid of them for your own personal gain,” Alex snapped.

Rian scowled. “Yeah, I’m sick of your nightmares and anxiety, but I want to help you get over it.”

“Don’t you think that’s what I’m trying to do?” Alex yelled, glaring at Rian.

“Not really!”

“Fuck you.” Alex slammed his coffee mug down, causing Rian to cuss as it flooded across the counter.

“Alex, clean that up!” Rian exclaimed, jumping away from the hot coffee. Alex ignored him and stormed out of the kitchen, pulling his shoes on and grabbing his keys before leaving and slamming the front door behind him.

What did Rian know? He didn’t have to deal with all this shit – not for himself, anyway. He didn’t know what the nightmares and anxiety were like. Alex got into his car and started to drive away, pulling out of the driveway as Rian came to the front door and shouted something.

Alex drove away from the house for a while, trying to calm himself down, but he was shaking a little. He wasn’t sure if it was from anxiety or anger. He was driving on the main road, barely paying attention, when he heard a horn blare at him. His eyes widened and he swerved slightly, narrowly avoiding getting hit head-on by a truck. He gasped as his body started to shake, pulling onto a side street quickly.

Pulling over to the side of the road, Alex burst into tears as his body shook and a full-blown anxiety attack started. He had nearly died because he had driven when he was angry and on the verge of an anxiety attack, and that scared the shit out of him. He took a deep breath to try and regulate his breathing, reaching for his phone. He pulled it out shakily and dialed Jack’s number.