Shelter

Alex had stayed at Jack’s house for the past two nights, not wanting to face Rian. He knew that he needed to apologize to him, but he didn’t want to yet. Rian had called Jack in a worry when Alex didn’t come home the first day, trying to figure out where he was, and Jack assured him that Alex was okay.

Alex was awake and knew he needed to get up, but he didn’t want to. Jack had made him an appointment for the therapist this morning and he wasn’t looking forward to it. The door opened as Jack came into the bedroom, and Alex hid under the covers.

“Come on, Lex, get up. I know you’re awake,” Jack said, tugging on the blankets.

“I just want to stay in bed all day!” Alex whined, poking his head out from under the covers.

Jack chuckled, “My house, my rules. Get your ass out of my bed.”

Alex sighed dramatically, getting up and stretching. He looked down at the boxers and shirt he was wearing, both Jack’s. “Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Yeah, there’s a pair of skinny jeans that you left here sitting on my dresser. Take anything else you need,” Jack said.

“Thanks.” Jack left and Alex went to shower, pulling on his skinny jeans and Jack’s boxers and blink-182 shirt when he was done. He headed into the kitchen, sitting at the table with a pout. Jack smiled when he saw him. “Come on, we should head out so we aren’t late.”

“Do we really have to go?” Alex asked, pouting.

“Yes. Quit being a baby and go put your shoes on,” Jack said, starting to walk out of the kitchen. He called over his shoulder, “I’ll buy you McDonalds breakfast if you hurry up!”

Alex jumped up and walked over to the front door, slipping his shoes on and pulling a beanie onto his head. He followed Jack out to the car, sitting in the passenger seat. Jack had insisted on taking his car, so he drove them to McDonalds to buy breakfast. They ate it on the drive to Baltimore and Jack plugged his iPod into the radio to try and calm Alex’s nerves. It didn’t really help, but Alex appreciated the gesture.

When they parked at the therapist’s office, Alex was tapping his foot out of nerves. He didn’t want to go inside – as lame as it sounds, he was afraid. Jack smiled at him reassuringly. “All the therapist is going to do it help you, Lex. She won’t make you feel bad,” he said.

“I know,” Alex mumbled, and Jack patted him on the knee.

“Will a kiss make you feel better?” Jack asked teasingly.

Alex rolled his eyes, replying, “It might make me punch you in the face.”

“I’ll take the risk,” Jack said with a shrug, leaning in and kissing Alex on the lips softly for a few seconds. It was the first time they had kissed since Alex was drunk on the last day of tour, and Alex blushed but kissed him back for a second before Jack pulled away, cheeks red. He raised a fist in triumph. “I didn’t get punched!”

Alex moved to pretend to punch him and Jack laughed, twisting out of the way and hopping out of the car. Alex sighed and followed him out of the car, his nerves calmed a little for now. That stopped as soon as they walked into the little waiting area, the receptionist telling them that the therapist would come out to see him soon. They sat down together and Alex pouted, leaning against Jack.

“Try not to have a temper tantrum like you did when Matt took you to the other therapist,” Jack teased lightly.

Alex rolled his eyes, “I make no promises.”

Jack chuckled, putting his hand over Alex’s, which made Alex relax slightly. A woman came out of one of the doors a few minutes later, smiling and walking over to them.

“Hi there! Which one of you is Alexander?” she asked.

Jack nudged Alex in the ribs, and Alex sat up straight. “That would be me. I’m Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Wilson, but you can just call me Grace,” she said, shaking his hand as he stood up. “We’re going to head back into my office and talk for a while, alright?”

“Okay,” Alex said hesitantly, feeling on edge as he looked back at Jack.

“You’ll be fine, Lex. I’ll be right here if you need me,” Jack said, motioning for him to follow Grace. Alex nodded and turned to follow her.

--------------------

Two hours later Alex was sitting in the passenger seat of Jack’s car, on their way home. He hadn’t spoken since they left the therapist’s office half an hour ago, and he knew it was beginning to worry Jack. Jack was more of a nervous wreck than he usually was.

“Alex, come on. You need to talk to me. I just want to know how the session went,” Jack begged for the millionth time, turning onto a street. “I made you mad, didn’t I? Or she said something that made you upset. Fuck. I hate myself. Why did I take you there? It probably just made things worse-”

“Jack, chill out,” Alex said, finally tired of his constant obsessing.

Jack sighed in relief, “Oh, thank god. She didn’t rip your vocal cords out. I thought we were going to have to find a new singer.”

Alex rolled his eyes, leaning against the window. They were finally back in Towson, having broken free from the crazy traffic.

“So are you going to talk about it with me?” Jack asked, turning onto his street.

Alex nodded.

“Well you can’t tell me anything if you aren’t going to speak,” Jack said, frustration lacing his words. He pulled into the driveway, shutting off the car. Alex pointed to the house, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Inside. Okay. Fine.”

Alex hopped out of the car, hearing Jack mutter, “I turned him into a mute,” as he walked up the steps. He just rolled his eyes. He had been thinking things over in the car – that’s the only reason he hadn’t talked about the therapy session with him yet.

They sat down on the couch together, Alex right next to Jack. “She’s nicer than the last dickhead,” Alex stated.

“Well, that’s good. So you liked her?” Jack asked.

Alex nodded. “She’s good. We talked about a bunch of stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Touring, stress, my family and friends, my nightmares, you…” Alex shrugged.

“Me?” Jack asked in surprise.

“Mhm. A little too extensively. Um, she gave me some ideas to try and get rid of my nightmares though,” Alex said happily, changing the subject slightly.

Jack smiled, “Really? What did she suggest?”

“It’s weird. She told me to think about the nightmares I have and kind of rewrite them. Take what’s scary or weird about them and turn it into something good or funny,” Alex explained. “She also told me to do some deep breathing stuff when I’m having anxiety attacks. She said we’d work on that more the next session, depending on how I’m doing.”

“So you’re going to go back?” Jack asked, grinning at him. Alex blushed slightly, nodding. Jack hugged him. “Aw, Lex. I’m proud of you. You’re actually trying to get better.”

“Thanks for making me go. I really appreciate it,” Alex said, putting his arms around Jack.

“You’re welcome, Lex,” Jack smiled. He spoke up again after a minute, “So… what were you guys talking about me for?”

Alex blushed, “She thought we were dating. The first thing she asked was if you were my boyfriend.”

Jack laughed, “What did you say?”

“I told her it was kind of complicated. And we ended up talking about how you make me feel safer and you help with my nightmares and anxiety attacks…” Alex said, burying his face into Jack’s shoulder in embarrassment as Jack laughed. “You’re mean.”

“Aw, Lex, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just the situation that’s funny,” Jack promised. “Talk about me more next time so I can hear more stories.”

“I’ll tell her that you’re a dickhead,” Alex said, biting Jack on the shoulder and pulling away.

“Ow! And you call me a dickhead?” Jack whined, rubbing his shoulder.

Alex just grinned. “It’s the truth.”