Masked Love

“Are you alright?” I realize that I had stopped my horse from moving.

“I’m just tired. I can see the lake from here so we’ll be able to rest soon.” My breathing quickens and I get my horse to start a fast trot. In a few minutes we arrive at the lake. I jump off my horse, take my shoes off and put my feet in the water. After some deep breaths I am able to relax and keep my thoughts straight. Maybe this was another girl. Maybe she lived at the house after I had moved. That was always a logical possibility.

“Are you sure you’re alright. You had me really worried back there. You just took off.”

“I was just anxious to get here and here we are. Is there anything else you wanted to know about me?”

“What do you think of Korine? What is it like to work for her?” Of all the questions he could ask, he chooses this one. Part of me wants to lie, but he’s been so honest with me already, I couldn’t do that to him.

“I used to love it. When we were little and she chose me to be her lady in waiting, I was ecstatic. I got to go places no other servant could go. I could learn to read. That was my way of traveling as I got older. But the library only has so many books and as the princess became older I was needed less and less. I remember the first time she told me she was going to Italy. I was so happy and I packed every nice thing I owned.” I am so lost in my memories I forget all about Luca. “The next morning she told me I wasn’t needed and left without me. It was then when I realized that she was never the friend she claimed to be, and I was to be trapped in France forever.”

“Not forever, Nicola.” He wipes a tear from my face. I am taken aback from this unexpected gesture. “If I am forced to marry her, you will go with us to Italy. I won’t let u stay here against your will.” Why is he so adamant about this? His voice gets stronger and he puts his hand over mine.

“Luca, do you remember the name of the girl who moved away when you were so young?” I prepare myself for his answer but it is silent for a moment.

“I don’t know. I asked my mother, but it slipped her mind after fifteen years. I don’t know what she expected me to do after she told me about her. Maybe my mother thought she would remember me.” This time he’s the one who becomes lost in thought. I take this time to really look at him. I can still see the little boy from my dreams. His eyes are the same, the way he moves his head when he’s worried, the way his mouth shapes when he says my name.

“Have you tried to look for her?”

“Not really, I have nothing to go on. I have no information about her. I only have the rumors about her mother.”

“So you think she’s a servant?”

“If the rumors are true, then she could be a peasant living in any part of France. It’s impossible.” His voice went soft. We end up sitting down in some soft grass and just talking. He asks me about my mother and how I learned to ride. I tell him stories about what goes on behind the scenes during big meetings and parties. He laughs when I tell him of when Addie spit in a rude guest’s soup.

“She only did it once but he deserved it for calling her a cow.”

“That was very brave of her. She could’ve been caught.” He can’t help but laugh but realizes that we must leave. He helps me up and we get on our horses. “Race back to the stables?”

“Good luck.” I win easily and he is left shocked far behind me.

After helping Korine, I go straight to my mother. I am still in shock from what Luca had mentioned at the lake and I need to hear the truth. I find her in her bedroom and shut the door behind me as I enter. “Mother, we need to talk.”

“Is everything ok, dear?”

“No, everything is not ok. I was with Luca, just talking and he mentioned a little girl who he was trying to find. He said something about how horrible her mother’s reputation was and how her father had an affair and threw them out. Is this true?” I can feel my body shaking and the tears filling my eyes.

“Come sit down. It’s time you knew who you are.” I calmly go over to her and sit on the bed. She squeezes my hand and begins the tale of my past. “I was born into a very poor family. My father was a farmer, my mother was a seamstress and my brother was married and had a farm of his own. When I was eighteen, the crop failed and we were starving. No one would help us, for it had been a bad year for everyone. Lack of food and other necessities makes people do foolish things, Nicola.

“One day I was walking along the edge of the forest and saw bits of cloth on the ground, probably from a trader’s cart. I brought the cloth to my mother and she made me a beautiful dress. When my father saw it he had an idea. He wanted me to go into town and find a husband. I didn’t understand at first. Even though the dress was beautiful in my eyes, it was still cheap and I could never pass as a noble. My mother pulled me aside.
‘You don’t have to lie to anyone. If someone loves you, he will love you for who you are on the inside.’ My father shook his head.

‘Just don’t tell anyone of your rank. Hold your head high and walk like you belong there.’ I knew my father was tired and was speaking out of hunger for food we couldn’t have. I agreed but I made it clear that I didn’t want to lie.

“The next day I put on my new dress, brushed my hair, and did everything I could to look like a noble’s daughter. As I walked into town I was surprised. Nobody stared or shied away. Somehow, I was pulling it off. Because I was lost in my thoughts I bumped into someone. His name was Antonio. He was so handsome and kind. He took one look at me and his whole face seemed to change. We walked together all afternoon, talking and learning things about each other. He did most of the talking and when it was my turn I never lied. I just didn’t mention certain aspects of my life.

“We met often after that. Every night I would stay up late tearing up the dress and making a new one out of the same fabric. I loved Antonio, and I wanted to do everything I could to make him love me back. After a month of courting, he proposed. And during that month, I never lied. He bought me the material for my wedding dress and I became Lady Evelyn. We lived happily for a week. Then he asked me about my dowry, and I knew that the whole truth needed to come out.

“When I finished my story he was furious. He slapped me and called me cruel for my deception. I told him that he loved me for who I was and not my money. He replied that he was in love with who I thought he was. He wanted a divorce but those were frowned upon in the church. He only slept with me once but I got pregnant. When you were born he seemed to get better. He held you and seemed to even love. But he kept his distance from me.

“We lived a pleasant life in the manor. I was able to sew and had friends. Luca’s mother was a very good friend and didn’t mind my past. But the life I wanted for you was coming to an end. Word got out that your father was having an affair with a woman in court. I still don’t know who she was, but I knew she was better for your father.

“One thing was wrong about the story Luca told you. Antonio did not throw us out. I left on my own. I didn’t want you to be raised by the mistress or a nanny so I took you with me. Luca’s mother offered to take us in but I knew we needed to get away where no one could find us or know of my reputation. So she found me a job in the French court as a seamstress, and I think you know the rest.”

Everything is quiet. The sky outside had grown dark while my mother was talking. “What happened to my grandparents?”

“I helped them as much as I could while living with Antonio, but it wasn’t enough. They both died.” We both start crying and holding each other.

“I think my life has been better here than it would have been with that man. I have you. And I know you will never lie to me again.”

“I’m glad you think that way, dearest. Now you should get to bed.” I kiss my loving mother on the cheek and go to my room, where I find Addie. She had seen me running out of the stables crying and wants to know if I am ok. I tell her everything, and then again to Noé when he comes in later on. Addie and I keep crying and Noé comforts both of us. They both fall asleep on my bed, the way they did when we were little.

One thought keeps me awake. My mother had mentioned that it was Luca’s mother who had gotten my mother this job. Wouldn’t she remember that? I know my mother didn’t lie to me. But Luca is.