Memories That Fade Like Photographs

"He told me he loved me Kara." I said to my best friend. It was hard talking to her since the whole Rian thing, but she had no idea so I tried my best to act normal.

"What? When?" she asked impatiently.

"Last night, we went on a date and after he said he loved me." I said.

"Wow, did you say it back?"

I paused. "Yes."

"That's great!" she said excitedly.

The thing was, I didn't love Alex. I really regretted telling him I loved him back, I replayed it over and over again in my head and thought of so many different things I could have said.

"So anyways, how was that party on Friday? Rian said it was the best party he's ever been to. I wish I could have gone." she said.

Oh god. Now I had to lie to Kara too? This was getting to be too much. And why the hell would Rian say it was the best party he'd ever gone to? All he did was make out with me and drink beer.

"It sucked. You didn't miss anything at all." I responded.

"Oh well whatever, we better get to homeroom." she said, and with that we walked to homeroom.

First period always sucked, nobody ever paid attention and half the time most of the class slept. Kara told me about her sister coming into town and what she did over the weekend. Apparently, her and Rian went on a date too and everything was perfectly fine.

The classes before lunch were horrible, all I could think about was seeing Rian and Kara together and also having to deal with Alex and Jack.

I walked to lunch alone and silently sat at our usual table while everyone else was getting food. My stomach was too nervous to eat anything.

"Hey Jen, why arn't you eating?" Jack said setting dowm his tray across from me.

"Oh I'm not hungry, I ate earlier." I lied.

I wanted to tell Jack everything, he was my best friend and telling him would be easier than telling anybody else.

"Fucking Rian canceled band practice today." Jack said.

"Why?" I asked. I hoped it wasn't because of me.

"Dunno. He said something about wanted to spend time with Kara or some shit like that, which is stupid since he has other days to be with her." he said.

That was a lie, I could tell. They had been dating for three years and he had never canceled band practice before to be with her, they were with each other pretty much every day.

"Hey guys." Rian said setting his tray next to Jack and Kara.

"Sup." Jack said

"Hey Jen." Rian said shooting me a smile.

Oh god. Why was he doing this to me?

"Hi." I said quickly.

"Rian why the fuck are you skipping out on band practice today?" Alex said setting his tray down next to me.

"Maybe I want some time with my lady." Rian said grabbing Kara's hand.

"You can have Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with her you dick." Alex said laughing.

"I felt like doing something today." Rian said.

The rest of lunch we just talked about the day and how everyone though school sucked.

I ran up to Jack when everyone got up to throw away their food.

"Hey Jack, can you come over after school today, alone?." I asked.

"Yeah of course Jen, is everything okay? Why can't anybody else come?" he asked,

"Just come over after school and I'll tell you everything." I said.

And with that, I began to walk to my next class. I was going to tell Jack everything, a part of me felt like he needed to know.

Soon after school was over I walked to Alex's car and waited for him to show up. Once he finally did, I got in and put on my seatbelt. On the drive to my house we talked about Rian and Kara for some reason, it was weird talking to my boyfriend about the guy I hooked up with. When he pulled up to my house he got out and opened my door as usual.

"Bye babe, I love you." he said kissing me.

"Bye" I paused. "Love you too." I said awkwardly walking away.

I felt like the biggest bitch ever when I told him that. I walked inside and waited for Jack to come over.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door, I knew it would be Jack so I walked over and opened the door.

"Hey Jen, what's up?" he asked walking over to the couch.

"Um, I really need to tell you something, but first you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody please." I said.

"I promise." he said.

"Okay, Friday night at that party while you and Zack were talking to Sean and messing around downstairs, I asked Rian if he wanted to go upstairs with me so we went upstairs to an empty room and we made out and fell asleep in the same bed. So basically I fucked up and cheated on Alex and Rian cheated on Kara. I am the biggest bitch ever, the next day when I came home I went on a date with Alex and then he told me he loved me and I lied and said it back, but I don't love Alex. I fucked everything up, my relationship with Rian, my friendship with Kara, and my own relationship with Alex. Please Jack, please don't tell anybody, I just needed to get this out." I said, trying not to cry.

"Wow Jen, that's alot to take in. I know you don't want to hear this but you need to tell Alex. You need to tell him you don't love him and you need to tell him what you did." he said.

"What the fuck Jack? I can't tell him! It would break his heart if he found out." I said

"Jen, he's gonna find out sooner or later, and leading him on like this isn't going to make anything better. In fact, it'll hurt him even more." he said.

"Jack you don't understand how guilty I feel about this, if he found out I don't know what I'd do." I said.

"Jen, if you don't tell him somebody else will." he said getting up.

"Jack you wouldn't do that to me, please don't do that to me." I said holding back tears.

"I wouldn't be the one to do it, but somehow it'll get out." he said walking toward the door.

"Jack don't go." I begged

"I need to get home Jen, please do the right thing." he said walking out the door.

He was right, I needed to do the right thing, but what exactly was the right thing? If I told Alex something would go wrong. If I didn't tell Alex something wrong would go wrong too. I'd give it a few days until I did anything too serious but I did need to tell Rian that Jack knew, and I knew he'd be pissed.