Better Than Me

"Okay!" Corinne stood up. "I love Halestorm as much as the next person, but I'm changing CDs."

"Boo! You whore!" Skylar yelled, throwing a piece of popcorn in Corinne's general direction.

"Hey!" Sammi protested, scowling at Skylar. "If you make a mess in my house, you will clean it tomorrow morning, once you've sobered up."

"And I suppose you are going to make me?" Skylar said.

Sammi arched one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. "Try me."

"Oooooh!" Piper and Violet chorused before lapsing into giggles.

"You bitches are wasted!" Riley declared, shaking her head.

Skylar frowned in confusion. "Wasn't that the point of tonight?"

"AMEN!" Sammi exclaimed, stretching over to tap her glass against Skylar's.

"And just like that, the war is over," Piper commented. She brightened. "Hey, Riley! You should work for the government. You could be our peace maker!"

"By encouraging our enemies to bond together against her?" Corinne chimed in. "Oh, yeah, brilliant plan, Piper."

Riley snickered. They were having a girls' night in. They had gathered at Sammi and Jeremy's for movies, music, and most importantly, liquor. Piper, Sammi, Skylar, and Violet had been putting drinks away like it was their profession, and they were somewhere between drunk and smashed.

Corinne and Riley had been taking it fairly easy. Both were pleasantly buzzed and didn't intend to go much further. Riley, at least, didn't want to deal with the consequences.

"Cori, what the hell?" Violet said. "Music, please!"

"Gimme this many minutes!" Corinne said, flipping Violet off over her shoulder.

Sammi giggled. "I see what you did there."

Riley bit her lip to contain her laughter. Not only did she want to avoid a hangover, it was also a ton of fun to be around her friends while they were drunk and she was not. She didn't miss as many of their antics when she wasn't involved in her own.

"And voila!" Corinne punched a button on the expensive sound system and a familiar song blasted from the speakers.

Riley's amusement evaporated into thin air. She clenched her jaw as Jacob's voice sang so sweetly that tears sprang to her eyes.

"Don't waste your time on me/Can't you see/I'll only lie/Just to make you believe in me/Does it make you sad to know your heart you can't trust?/Don't make it so bad/I won't give up on us.

"Just say anything/Your silence is killing me/I want you to know/I'm way past sorry/You're running away, but I still feel the same/I want you to know...I'm sorry."

Riley hadn't listened to Lynam since she'd confronted Jacob nearly three weeks ago. She was avoiding Facebook so that she wouldn't see his photos or his random posts about Adler. She had exchanged cell phone numbers with both Cody and David, keeping her promise to Jacob and staying in touch with them the only way she could while separating herself so completely from Jacob.

"I'm starting to regret this/I can't start over/I don't want to be your biggest mistake/You say this doesn't matter/Look over your shoulder/I'm right behind, but I won't stand in your way/It's over now/You said it's too late/I'll show you how I can make it right now.

"Just say anything/Your silence is killing me/I want you to know/I'm way past sorry/You're running away, but I still feel the same/I want you to know..."

"Riles?" Corinne was suddenly beside her, worry in her eyes.

Riley looked up and realized that Sammi, Piper, Violet, and Skylar were staring at her, concerned even in their drunken state.

"Just Say Anything" came to its end and "Save My Soul" began.

"Save my soul/I can't let go/Your memories keep haunting me."

Riley abruptly gained her feet and walked out of the room. She couldn't bring herself to move beyond the reach of Jacob's voice. She had missed it, along with everything else about him. She relaxed against the wall and shut her eyes.

"I didn't mean to disappoint you/I didn't mean to let you down/I only wanted to forget you/Sit right here and let you drown/Just walk away/I'll never be the same.

"Save my soul/I can't let go/Your memories keep haunting me/Take control/I'm on my own/Can't you see I'm broken?

"Did you think that I would give up?/I remember what you did/I saw you putting on your makeup/Outside his window, looking in/Just walk away/I'll never be the same.

"Save my soul/I can't let go/Your memories keep haunting me/Take control/I'm on my own/Can't you see I'm broken?

"Just walk away/I'll never be the same."

Riley swiped at the tears that had spilled from beneath her lowered lids. The loss of Jacob was supposed to have made everything better, but it hadn't. Her relationship with Andy had seemingly improved, though she knew his suspicions about her and Jacob remained. Other than that, nothing was better. She actually thought things might be worse.

No! she scolded herself. Things aren't worse! I'm slowly patching up my relationship with Andy, and that's what matters. That's what I set out to do, and I'm doing it.

However, some part of her was unconvinced that this was the right thing. Was it worth giving up Jacob's friendship just to save what she had with Andy? A relationship that she had recently doubted enough to wonder if she even wanted to keep it going.

That was when I let the future override the present, she told herself. I was freaking out, unnecessarily, about things that I couldn't control. I'm not doing that anymore and it's working. Andy and I are happy. We're putting the past behind us, where it belongs, and watching the future roll out before us while living in the here and now. That's all there is to it.

She was surprised to hear the intro to "Losing Venus." That wasn't on the same album as the last two songs. Had Corinne made a mix CD of her favorites?

"You can have it all/Every little piece of me/I never thought you'd slip away/Everything has changed/Nothing seems to be the same/I still wake at night breathing your name/Now the whole world dislocates/Without you I'm not the same/Voices scream inside my head/Hanging on to everything.

"And I would never try to change you/And my dream is over if I don't have you/You just took it all away."

"What is with the ballads?" Skylar demanded from the other room.

In the hallway, Riley almost laughed. Someone skipped to the next track, which in this case was "Waste My Life." The volume rose a bit as the familiar chant of "Hell yeah! Damn right! Gotta get drunk on a Friday night!" started.

Riley released a shaky breath. She adored Lynam's music and she was still friends with David and Cody. She couldn't get upset every time she heard Jacob's voice or name. She would get through this. As long as she had Andy and her girls, she could get through anything.

Feeling better, she went back into the game room. Piper and Violet were dancing together, earning cheers and catcalls from Skylar and Sammi.

Corinne jumped up at Riley's re-entry. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Corinne frowned. "I didn't know hearing them would upset you like that." She hugged Riley.

"Cori, it's fine. I'm over it. I just hadn't listened to Lynam since Jacob and I quit speaking."

"Why?"

Riley smiled and said ironically "Because I thought hearing them would upset me."

**********

The following Thursday, Black Veil Brides had a show in Seattle, Washington. It was the nearest they'd been to home in a month, so naturally, the girls piled into Christian's SUV and made the drive. Skylar and Violet managed to get the time off from work and tagged along as well.

The drive took ages, but the girls were okay with that. It brought back memories of other road trips to watch the guys, back before they were big enough to warrant a tour bus and bookings on the far side of the country.

They arrived at the venue with only an hour to spare. Security was expecting them and getting back to the dressing room was a breeze. Jake answered Sammi's knock.

"Our ladies are here!" he called, slipping his arms around Piper.

"And two extras!" Violet added.

"That's one for me!" Ashley said with a cheeky grin.

"Rock, paper, scissors to see who's getting to have a threesome tonight?" Christian joked.

Corinne punched him on the shoulder. Sammi situated herself on Jeremy's lap. Riley approached Andy and kissed him hello.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said.

"Me, too."

"You're coming on the next tour. I don't like being away from you."

Riley smiled. "I don't like being away from you, either."

"Can you two be mushy somewhere else?" Ashley groaned. "I'm getting nauseous."

"Fuck you, Purdy!" Andy retorted.

"If that's an offer, can I watch?" Skylar queried, smirking.

Andy and Ashley both looked at her with disgusted expressions while everyone else laughed.

Sammi raised her hand. "I second that notion."

Jeremy cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What?" she said defensively. "They're two good-looking guys. I wouldn't mind seeing them fool around."

It'd be like watching Cody and Jacob. The thought popped into Riley's mind without any warning. She could picture Jacob--similar to Andy in height, build, and coloring--and Cody, his hair and makeup done like Ashley's. Her face grew warm.

"Riley?" Andy touched her arm, his gaze inquisitive. "You're blushing."

"Maybe she got a mental image of Ashley bending you--" Jake began.

"SHUT UP!" Ashley and Andy shouted.

Chuckling, Jake mimed zipping his lips.

There was a tap on the door and a stagehand announced that the guys were on in five minutes. The five members of Black Veil Brides, their girlfriends, Skylar, and Violet headed out of the room and to the side of the stage. The guys' were already focused on what they were about to do. Each one gave his girl a peck on the lips before jogging into the view of the crowd.

Riley and the other girls bellowed the lyrics as loud as any of the fans, pausing occasionally to snap a photo on their cells. Andy had just delivered the opening line of "Youth and Whisky," the last song in their set, when Riley's cell rang. She couldn't hear it over the band, but she felt it vibrate. She glanced at the screen to discover that it was David Lynam calling.

"I'll be right back!" she mouthed to Corinne, gesturing at her cell.

Corinne nodded.

Riley sprinted into the depths of the backstage area. "Hey!" she said breathlessly.

"Whoa! What'd I interrupt?"

"Nothing. If I'd been doing that, I sure as hell wouldn't have quit to talk to you."

"Touché."

"What's up?"

"Well, actually, I just got done having a very interesting conversation with my front man about how you and he are not currently on speaking terms."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on, Riley?"

Riley bit back a sigh. "I don't know. What'd he tell you?"

"He didn't leave anything out. I know about the party and the kiss."

"So what's left for me to explain?"

"Everything! You're punishing Jacob for a mistake you made. He's never going to make a move on you. He's never going to interfere with what you have with Andy. Yeah, he's attracted to you. So what? Y'all can still be friends."

"No, we can't," Riley argued. "I'm not comfortable knowing that he feels that way."

"You mean you're not comfortable knowing that Andy thinks you feel that way, too."

"That's not fair, David."

"What's 'not fair' is you ruining a friendship because your boyfriend is an idiot that doesn't trust you."

"It's not that simple."

"It is that simple. You just like to make things complicated. Look," he continued, cutting her off. "Just promise me that it won't prevent you from visiting us once in a while."

"It won't," she assured him.

"Good. Because I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I'll try to fly out soon."

"I'd like that. Bye, sweetheart."

"Bye." Riley pocketed her cell.

There was no longer any music. Riley went to the dressing room, where the guys were busy changing clothes, ready for a night in a hotel with their girls.

Andy was distracted the whole ride to the hotel. He barely said anything. Riley's best guess was that he was crashing from his adrenaline high, his exhaustion catching up to him.

At the hotel, the couples divided into their rooms. Andy stalked straight to the balcony and lit a cigarette. Riley trailed after him, hesitating in the doorway that connected the balcony and the main room.

"Andy?" she said softly. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine and fucking dandy."

Riley's brow furrowed in confusion. He was angry. What had she missed? He'd been perfectly happy and energetic prior to the show. "You're upset about something. What happened?"

"Gee, I wonder," he sneered.

Riley was at a loss for words. She was obviously supposed to know.

Andy's cold blue eyes flicked to her. "You're going to stand there and pretend that you don't have a fucking clue? Really?"

"I don't have a clue, Andy."

"I'm not stupid, Riley. You fed me all that bullshit about how you felt old in the aftermath of the class reunion and I wanted to believe you. I thought everything was fine, that you'd gotten out from under whatever was weighing on you. Maybe you turned to Jacob because you were feeling insecure--"

"WHAT!?" Riley blurted, startled by the mention of Jacob. "Andy, I didn't--"

"Don't lie to me again, Riley!" he snarled. "I know the truth now. You're so damned eager to get to Alabama and be with him! I bet he's been fucking you every time he's been in L.A., hasn't he? I'm sure he thinks he's a big shot, recording with Steven Adler and fucking Andy Biersack's girlfriend!"

"You. Are. Fucking. INSANE!" Riley said in a low, dangerous voice. "Fuck you." She walked through the hotel room, snatching up the overnight bag she'd brought on her way out the door.