Better Than Me

Riley leaned over the table and scrutinized the position of the cue ball in relation to the remaining solid-colored balls. Biting her lip, she decided she could probably sink the seven if she did this just right.

"Take your time, Riley," Cody said. "I've got all night."

She glanced over her shoulder. Cody was slumped carelessly against the wall, directly behind her. A smirk lingered at the corners of his mouth and his eyes were trained on her ass. Riley rolled her eyes.

After sleeping for a few hours at Cody's house, the Lynam guys had completed the trek to Birmingham. Cody had tagged along due to David's suggestion that they all go out that evening.

On his way to his own house, Jacob had dropped everyone else off at David's in Trussville, where Joseph and Todd had left their vehicles before the journey to Ohio. Both eager to be home in their own beds, Joseph and Todd had declined the invitation to hang out and departed for their respective homes. Cody, David, and Riley had showered and changed, then headed to Iron Horse. Jacob was supposed to be meeting them here, but he had yet to show up.

Riley aimed carefully at the cue ball and tapped it with just enough force that it hit the seven and came to a halt. The seven, on the other hand, rolled to the nearest pocket, teetered on the edge momentarily, and fell in with a clunk.

Riley frowned as she studied the table. She didn't have a shot. Her best bet was to try to ensure that Cody wouldn't have one, either, while simultaneously setting herself up to win.

She knocked the cue ball to the far side of the table, well away from any of the striped balls. She turned away from the table just as Cody approached. He passed her, the front of his body brushing against the front of hers. She arched an eyebrow at him and his smirk grew.

"He can't help it, you know," David commented when Riley joined him at one of the tables lining the wall.

Sipping her Long Island ice tea, Riley gave David a questioning look.

"Cody," he clarified. "He has a hormone imbalance."

Riley snickered. "Are you telling me you never suffered from the same condition?" she asked playfully.

"Maybe," David said. "God, I hope I wasn't that bad, though. I swear, Cody gets hard over the female stick figure on the sign designating the ladies' room."

Riley burst out laughing. "I have to share that one with Cori."

"Be my guest."

"Your shot, sweetheart," Cody called. He'd scratched, which meant Riley was about to have an easy time of it.

Riley sank the three, leaving only the eight ball between her and victory. "What do I get if I win?" she said to Cody.

There was no mistaking that gleam in his eyes. However, before he could answer, David exclaimed, "Jacob! There you are! We were about to send out a search party."

Riley followed David's gaze and found Jacob ambling towards them. He was in black jeans and a black tee adorned with a hot pink skull-and-crossbones. His hair was larger than usual and he'd actually forgone his ever-present black bandana. The faintest hint of eyeliner emphasized the flawless blue of his eyes.

Fuck me, she thought.

"Riley!" Cody's voice tore her attention from Jacob. "Are you going to finish this game some time tonight?"

Riley blushed. Jacob had reached the table where David was seated and they were talking. He hadn't hugged her. She knew why, but it still gave her an unpleasant sensation in the pit of her stomach.

Riley had no problem knocking the eight ball into a corner pocket.

"Rematch!" Cody yelled.

"Why don't you challenge David," Jacob said. "I need to borrow Riley."

David downed the last of his beer and retrieved a cue stick from the rack on the wall. Riley returned her stick to the rack, moving about slowly. She was almost afraid of what Jacob was going to do or say.

As David and Cody prepared to play, Riley went over to Jacob, who was waiting for her. She was a bit surprised when he led the way out of the club. They walked to his car. He unlocked the doors and, hesitating only briefly, Riley slid in on the passenger side.

"I can't let you go back to California without resolving this," he said, looking at her. "I've already learned how much I hate not being on speaking terms with you."

Riley nodded in agreement. Those three weeks after Corinne's party had been torture.

Jacob sighed softly. "So...what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. We're exactly where Andy and I were. We want totally different things out of this relationship."

"Seems like it."

"I don't understand why you're so opposed to what I want," Riley remarked. "It's not complicated and there's sex involved. That's the kind of relationship every guy dreams of."

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not really a typical guy," Jacob said dryly. "Excuse me for thinking with my brain and my heart instead of my dick."

"Are you sure this isn't some kind of white knight complex? My heart is broken and you want to come to the rescue and fix it?"

"I liked you before all the drama, Riley."

"Then I don't have a solution, Jacob. Whoever I'm involved with next isn't going to mean anything. I can't invest myself into another serious relationship right now. I'm too emotionally exhausted. Being with Andy was a full-time job and I want a fucking vacation."

"I'm not asking for more than you're willing to give," Jacob said. "I'm just asking you not to go into this convinced that we will fail. If you believe that, you're going to make it happen. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"But I already know you're a rebound!"

"No! You don't know that."

Riley considered him for a few seconds. "Let me get this straight. You're going to date me based on the hope that once I'm with you, it will become something serious?"

"Every relationship starts as two people who are attracted to each other just hanging out and seeing where it'll go," Jacob said. "Why should this be any different?"

"Because we're on different paths. You can throw every argument you want at me, but I know we are. Jacob...I can't stand the thought of hurting you. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and the idea of causing you pain, it's unbearable."

"Then, what? You expect me to wait while you get your rebound out of the way?"

Riley shook her head. "No."

Jacob dragged a hand through his hair. "This should be easy."

"Give me the easy version."

"Okay." He faced her. "Do you want me?"

"I think you're--"

"Do. You. Want. Me?" he interrupted. "Yes or no?"

Riley raised her eyes to his. "Yes." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"And I want you. The end."

"Right," Riley scoffed. "It's that easy."

"It's that easy." Jacob shifted forward and caught her lips in a long, hard kiss. He cupped her face in his hands. "That's all that matters right now. We can deal with everything else later."

"Jacob," she murmured.

He shushed her. "I'm sorry. I was so sure that I could be your friend and that would be enough, but I was wrong. Even if this falls apart, at least I can have you for a while."

He kissed her again and Riley responded eagerly. Jacob had just told her that, basically, she either gave this a chance or gave him up. She was going to lose him whether or not she dated him.

Might as well enjoy him while I can.

Ten minutes later, as they were strolling back inside, Riley wondered if this meant that Jacob had changed his mind about having sex with her.

**********

Riley spent the night at Jacob's. They slept in the same bed, but that was all they did: Jacob's decision not to "fuck her just to fuck her" held firm. David and Cody had come over that morning to tell her goodbye. Jacob had taken her to the airport. Their final farewell had been strictly nonverbal.

Riley had barely walked through the door of the house she and Andy were still sharing when Christian's SUV pulled into the driveway. Corinne hopped out. Smiling, Riley ran to her best friend and threw herself into her arms.

"I missed you!" Corinne said. "It seemed so much longer than three days."

Riley thought about everything that had happened during this visit with Lynam, especially her Jacob situation. The trip felt like it had lasted about a week rather than a mere three days. "I know!" she agreed.

The two girls went inside.

"How was your last day?" Corinne asked as they entered the kitchen. She sat at the table and waited expectantly.

Riley busied herself fixing a glass of sweet tea for each of them. "It was...interesting. I learned something about myself."

"What's that?"

"That I should never be stuck in a van with Cody and David for more than about fifteen minutes."

Corinne laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"Worse." Riley carried the two glasses to the table and set one in front of Corinne before dropping into the chair across from her. "David is the loudest, most obnoxious person I've ever had to deal with, and Cody..." She shook her head. "I knew he was a whore, but that didn't prepare me to listen in on a few of his, um, booking sessions."

Corinne wrinkled her nose. "Ew."

"We stopped at Cody's to sleep," Riley said. She recounted everything that had taken place in the guest bedroom, then filled Corinne in on the afternoon at David's and the hours at Iron Horse, including the conversation between her and Jacob.

"I stayed at his house last night, but we didn't do anything, and he drove me to the airport," she concluded. "We didn't discuss our 'relationship' any more. We just left it where it was after the talk at the club." She sighed. "I know he's going to continue his attempts to convince me that this 'relationship' means something."

"Maybe he won't," Corinne said. "Maybe he'll just let it ride."

"I hope so."

"Why? You're not."

Riley frowned. "What?"

"You're not letting it ride. You're over-thinking it." Corinne met Riley's eyes, her expression earnest. "Jacob was right. Every relationship begins with an attraction and two people who want to see where it will go. Neither of you are doing that."

"Because I know--"

Corinne cut her off. "You don't know anything for certain. People end relationships every day, Riley. They pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and jump into a new one. Just because the relationship you just ended was a serious one doesn't mean that your next relationship is a guaranteed failure. You don't have to have a rebound in order to move on."

Riley remained silent.

"Stop sabotaging this, Riles," Corinne said gently. "You like him. I know you do."

Riley nodded. "I do."

"He's already crazy about you. And he's a really good guy. There's no reason for you to let this chance slip through your fingers."

"Except..."

"Except what?"

Riley fidgeted. "Andy and I didn't really have closure."

"You told him it was over and left. What else do you need?"

"It wasn't that black and white, Cori. You weren't there. You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

"Nobody was angry. We talked so calmly. I said I couldn't do it anymore and he wanted to know if there was anything he could do to change my mind. There wasn't...not then."

Corinne's eyebrows rose. "But there might be now?"

"I don't know," Riley said miserably. "I still love him, and I know he still loves me. Before I drove to your house that morning, he hugged me and kissed me. It was just like any other time we were going to be spending time apart, like when I go home to visit my parents or he's heading out on the road. There was no finality to it. The whole thing felt as if we were just putting everything on hold. It's felt that way every since."

"That's why you're so convinced that Jacob will only be a rebound," Corinne said, comprehension dawning on her features. "You don't feel like you and Andy are truly done."

"Some part of me knows that we're over. I know, without a doubt, that I can't be with someone who could lost his trust in me that easily. But...something else needs to happen. I can't say what, exactly. I won't know until it happens."

"I think Andy is feeling the same way," Corinne commented.

"I think you're right. He called me while I was in Ohio. I didn't answer."

"I know." Corinne sighed. "He called me and made me promise to persuade you to call him back." She reached across the table and grabbed Riley's hand. "When you call him, I want you to keep something in mind."

"What?" Riley questioned.

"You're looking for closure, for some kind of definable ending to the relationship that will allow you to put it behind you and move on." Corinne paused, looking both worried and frustrated. "Andy is looking for a continuation. He wants to fix the relationship and get back together. If that's what you feel is best, go for it. I only want you to be happy. Don't let him go if he's what you want and need, but don't let whatever love you have left for him blind you to his flaws and make you forget what he did, either."