So Fragile Yet So Devious

“I don’t wanna leave.” He mumbled referring to his scheduled departure in a couple days.
She didn’t say anything as she snuggled into his shoulder and pulled the blanket further up their nude bodies as they lay in his bed. She’d be thinking a lot about things especially about what he’d told Josh earlier that night at the club. She felt that they were more than merely best friends but she guess that maybe he didn’t feel the same. To say that it was driving her crazy was an understatement.
“Can I talk to you about something?” She wondered out loud.
“Yeah, you can talk to me about anything, Dolly. You know that.”
She sighed, “It’s about what Josh asked you about tonight.”
“What’d he ask me?”
“About us.” He just nodded and bit his lip anxiously. “Corey, what are we? I mean, we’re obviously more than friends…..but, what are we doing?”
He took a deep breath. He knew where she was going with this. He’d like nothing more for them to be together but an overwhelming lack of self confidence, for lack of a better term, would prevent him from making that leap. After all, he’d hate himself if, for whatever reason, she ended up getting hurt. “I don’t know that I’m capable of making any commitments right now…”
She looked a bit crestfallen. “I don’t get it. Has everything just been some kind of-“
He stopped her before she could finish. “It hasn’t been some kind of anything. My feelings for you are fucking real.”
“I’m so fucking confused.”
“Look, I’ve gone through this all before, and to be honest, I suck at it. I’m gone constantly.”
She shook her head, “I know that….and we’ve overcame that pretty well in the past few months. I came to visit and now you’re here…”
“Yeah, but happens when I can’t come home for a couple days or you can’t come visit……..you’ll be stuck here and I’ll be half way around the world. You’d resent me.”
“I wouldn’t ever resent you.”
“It happened with Scarlett. It’ll happen again.” He huffed.
“That’s different….You deserved so much better than her.”
“And you deserve better than what I could give you.” He frowned. “You shouldn’t have to wait around for somebody. They should be waiting for you.”
“You’re too sweet to me.” She said. He half expected her to storm off on him and when she didn’t it made him feel better about the whole situation. She placed a soft peck on his neck over the kanji tattoo he had tattooed there. “What’s that mean?”
“The tattoo?” She nodded. “It goes with the other one…..kind of about my dad.”
“What about him?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know.” He noticed her looking at him kind of funny. “I’ve never met him. Hell, I don’t even know what he looks like.”
“What about your mom? She won’t tell you anything?”
He shook his head, “No one would. I guess he just bailed, ya know?”
“Well, you don’t know for sure what happened. Don’t assume the worst.”
“How else would you explain it? If you have a kid……..If *I* had a kid, I’d make damn sure I was there. I wouldn’t leave him or her alone. I’d fucking be there. I’d teach em stuff. Ya know? No one ever really taught me anything. I taught myself. And look how that turned out…”
“I think you turned out pretty good.”
“I don’t know about that.” He chuckled awkwardly. “I’m alive. So, that’s an achievement I guess.”
“If you hadn’t gone through those things, you might not be the person you are now.”
He turned his head slightly so he could look at her then, with a soft smile across his features, he pressed his soft lips to hers. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life.”