Status: In progress.
So Here's One Right From My Heart, My Life Right From the Start
You take my hand and walk me out into the dark
He looked at my face in confusion. His beautiful face. “ive hurt your heart once benji, i cant do that to you again. i love you so much, you are my bestfriend, my world i would hate to see you hurt. What we have is amazing benji, you are my everything and i dont want to be the one who breaks your heart and tears our band apart. I cant we have one week off, go and get back together with sam. Im worthless, you deserve better benji, she loves you and she wont hurt you like i will. i love you, i will always love you benji but we cant be together. Im so sorry.” I felt sick in my stomach, i gulped down my emotions. i cant let him see me cry over him. I looked to his face. He was already hurt. I held him close and kissed his lips. “im so sorry” i whispered. He nodded his head, he understood why, he knew i loved him but he didnt know how much it was breaking my heart to do this, just to say these words was cutting my heart. He’ll never know how much i want to be with him, but if we were together, i knew i wouldnt be faithful and i know i would hurt him. This is the only way.
I watched him walk away, tears in his eyes. This hurt. The cold six oclock air ran through me, god it was cold. i stumbled around, i dont want to go back to the bus because then i knew i would have to go home and what was at home? Myca. I cant handle all of this. I found a open 24/7 Wallmart. Sweet i can get some booze and get wrecked before i have to face people. I walked through the automatic doors and the air conditioning hit me like a wall. More cold, just what i need. The hairs on my arms stood to attention and a shiver ran down my spine. I wandered around picking up some junk food and a bottle of jack daniels. An old friend. I’ve given up drinking and doing drugs on tour but fuck it i need this right now. I walked up to the serving desks and shoved my food on the moving belt. I looked up at the serving girl. Fuck, she was hot. Wonder if she knew who i was.
“Evening sir, my names Steph, Do you need some bags?” Sir? she must not know. “Hey, my names Danny Worsnop.” I gave her a cheeky wink. Maybe i need a good fuck to get Ben and Myca out of my system. “Yes i know who you are, Sir. Lead singer of asking alexandria yeh? thought it was you.” I laughed. “stop calling me sir, call me Danny.” I shot her my sexy look. “so, why arent you screaming and asking for my photograph?” She bleeped my food through the machine. “You look like you’ve had a rough night, didnt want to bother you.” She was beautiful, long brown hair, cute smile. “Well, arent you sweet.” I took a pen out of my top pocket and put the pen in her hand. “Can i get your number please Steph?” She looked up and smiled in disbelief. “danny worsnop?! Wants my number? Are you kidding?!” i put all my things into a bag except the Jack Daniels. “I get off work in five if you want to stick around?” I checked my watch. 07:53. “My flight leaves at 12 to take me home but yeah sure.” i shot her another wink. “ill wait out front.” I began to walk away. Im so fucking smooth. I ripped the top off my bottle of Jack. I held the neck up to my mouth and began to drink it. glup, glup glup. It burned as it ran down my throat. It hurt but made
me feel so warm as it ran through my body. My body burned but i feel more alive.
The girl, ive already forgot her name, walked out of the front door. I waved over to her and she flicked her hair behind her shoulder. “hey again! You want a drink?” i offered her a drink of my Jack Daniels. She nodded her head and took a swig. ” I know some place we could go for a drink.” She gave me a cheeky smile. “I don’t have long, i have to get back to the bus soon.” She looked at me with a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, this wont take long.” I was curious about what she was going to do with me. Well, i was hoping for sex but whatever.
We walked for a few minutes and went into this little bar. She jumped behind the bar and grabbed two glasses and filled it with Jack Daniels and Coke. “What the fuck?” She laughed. “yeah i work here too.” She began to clean the bar, it was a mess. I sat down on the black lether bar stool. the alcohol began to kick in, i felt weightless, the room spun as we talked and drank. “I love ben.” I told her. “Hes my world and he offered to be my boyfriend tonight and i said no. Why did i say no Steph? I love him with all my heart and i think I’ve broken his. I cant believe i was trying to avoid hurting him when I’m hurting myself and him too.” My words began to slur and i couldn’t think straight. “What am i doing? I LOVE BEN! HES MY EVERYTHING.I began to exclaim in the middle of the empty bar. “I LOVE BEN! I LOVE BEN! I LOVE BENJI!” what have i been doing? I love Ben and i need to tell him that. my head hurt but i forced myself to drink more and more.I checked my watch again and it was 10:23. Fuck. I have to get back to the bus. I need Ben to come and help me. i fumbled for my phone, my head felt heavy underneath me. i grabbed my phone and began to scroll through the contacts. I found Ben’s name and held it down. I clicked yes to what i thought was Call Ben Bruce but it must of been delete because the number was deleted. SHIT. I decided just to tweet him. @benafuckinga phone me asshole. i scrolled down his page and saw
*if you follow my tumblr you can see the picture of girl sams ring.*
Ben proposed to Sam. My eyes began to tear up. I’ve fucked this up.
I watched him walk away, tears in his eyes. This hurt. The cold six oclock air ran through me, god it was cold. i stumbled around, i dont want to go back to the bus because then i knew i would have to go home and what was at home? Myca. I cant handle all of this. I found a open 24/7 Wallmart. Sweet i can get some booze and get wrecked before i have to face people. I walked through the automatic doors and the air conditioning hit me like a wall. More cold, just what i need. The hairs on my arms stood to attention and a shiver ran down my spine. I wandered around picking up some junk food and a bottle of jack daniels. An old friend. I’ve given up drinking and doing drugs on tour but fuck it i need this right now. I walked up to the serving desks and shoved my food on the moving belt. I looked up at the serving girl. Fuck, she was hot. Wonder if she knew who i was.
“Evening sir, my names Steph, Do you need some bags?” Sir? she must not know. “Hey, my names Danny Worsnop.” I gave her a cheeky wink. Maybe i need a good fuck to get Ben and Myca out of my system. “Yes i know who you are, Sir. Lead singer of asking alexandria yeh? thought it was you.” I laughed. “stop calling me sir, call me Danny.” I shot her my sexy look. “so, why arent you screaming and asking for my photograph?” She bleeped my food through the machine. “You look like you’ve had a rough night, didnt want to bother you.” She was beautiful, long brown hair, cute smile. “Well, arent you sweet.” I took a pen out of my top pocket and put the pen in her hand. “Can i get your number please Steph?” She looked up and smiled in disbelief. “danny worsnop?! Wants my number? Are you kidding?!” i put all my things into a bag except the Jack Daniels. “I get off work in five if you want to stick around?” I checked my watch. 07:53. “My flight leaves at 12 to take me home but yeah sure.” i shot her another wink. “ill wait out front.” I began to walk away. Im so fucking smooth. I ripped the top off my bottle of Jack. I held the neck up to my mouth and began to drink it. glup, glup glup. It burned as it ran down my throat. It hurt but made
me feel so warm as it ran through my body. My body burned but i feel more alive.
The girl, ive already forgot her name, walked out of the front door. I waved over to her and she flicked her hair behind her shoulder. “hey again! You want a drink?” i offered her a drink of my Jack Daniels. She nodded her head and took a swig. ” I know some place we could go for a drink.” She gave me a cheeky smile. “I don’t have long, i have to get back to the bus soon.” She looked at me with a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, this wont take long.” I was curious about what she was going to do with me. Well, i was hoping for sex but whatever.
We walked for a few minutes and went into this little bar. She jumped behind the bar and grabbed two glasses and filled it with Jack Daniels and Coke. “What the fuck?” She laughed. “yeah i work here too.” She began to clean the bar, it was a mess. I sat down on the black lether bar stool. the alcohol began to kick in, i felt weightless, the room spun as we talked and drank. “I love ben.” I told her. “Hes my world and he offered to be my boyfriend tonight and i said no. Why did i say no Steph? I love him with all my heart and i think I’ve broken his. I cant believe i was trying to avoid hurting him when I’m hurting myself and him too.” My words began to slur and i couldn’t think straight. “What am i doing? I LOVE BEN! HES MY EVERYTHING.I began to exclaim in the middle of the empty bar. “I LOVE BEN! I LOVE BEN! I LOVE BENJI!” what have i been doing? I love Ben and i need to tell him that. my head hurt but i forced myself to drink more and more.I checked my watch again and it was 10:23. Fuck. I have to get back to the bus. I need Ben to come and help me. i fumbled for my phone, my head felt heavy underneath me. i grabbed my phone and began to scroll through the contacts. I found Ben’s name and held it down. I clicked yes to what i thought was Call Ben Bruce but it must of been delete because the number was deleted. SHIT. I decided just to tweet him. @benafuckinga phone me asshole. i scrolled down his page and saw
*if you follow my tumblr you can see the picture of girl sams ring.*
Ben proposed to Sam. My eyes began to tear up. I’ve fucked this up.