Status: In progress.
So Here's One Right From My Heart, My Life Right From the Start
Ill be there in the morning with a smile on my face!
fuck. what am i going to do? Myca's pregnant, and I'm going to be a daddy. i grabbed the shots and took all four of them, i ordered more from the bar and took four more shots. Myca watched me. "So what was your big news?" i hesitated as i quickly thought of what to do. "err, umm." Myca hugged me, "It doesn't matter anyway, all that matters is that you love me and i love you and we're going to be a big family." My head hurt as her words rang through me like a bell. we're going to be a family. I'm going to be a dad. oh god. I sat back down, i cant be a dad. i can barely look after myself never mind a baby. oh god, what if i have to quit the band because i cant have a baby on the road, i cant have Myca at home all the time looking after the baby alone. Myca stared at me, i still hadn't said a word. "Danny?" I looked at her face, her beautiful face. BEN! what about Ben? the whole reason I'm here tonight?
i hadn't even thought about Ben. Ben. WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN ME AND BEN?! we cant be together if I'm going to be a dad. oh lord. "Are you okay Danny sweety? you look a little pale? " I shut my eyes, "um, i need to get back to the tour bus, we must be leaving soon and i have stuff to do, sorry babe but ill phone you and we'll talk ok?" Myca leaned forward and she kissed me; i pulled away and kissed her on the cheek. I couldn't kiss her on the lips, it reminded me of Ben. I walked back to the tour bus where i was greeted by a huge hug by Ben. "I've told all the guys and they are happy for us. isn't that great?" He had the biggest grin on his face, i couldn't bare to look at him. I didn't want to break his heart, but i have to be with Myca. I HAVE to be with Myca for the babies sake. James popped a bottle of champagne "To BRUSNOP!" he yelled and took a large swig. Brusnop. A word that ran through me and gave me goosebumps. "So did you talk to Myca? what did she say? Is she okay?" I looked down at my fingers, I cant look at him, the tears began to run down my face. "Danny?" Ben urged me to talk. "We need to talk Benji. like seriously." i took his arm and pulled him into the back room as Sam and James shouted gay jokes at us. "Danny, whats up?"
how could i look into his eyes and after telling him that i love him, that i cant be with him? "I didn't break up with her benji, I'm so sorry." He looked at me with a confused face "so what? you chose her didn't you? You don't want to be with me?" i could see the rage in his eyes. its not my fault, i wanted to be with him more than he would ever know. but now he'll never know. Ben took a bottle from the side and through it against the wall. "WHAT THE HELL DANNY TALK TO ME?" He didn't know. I got so angry at him. "MYCA'S FUCKING PREGNANT! THIS IS WHY WE CANT BE TOGETHER. I HAVE TO DO IT FOR HER!" Ben's face fell in disbelief. He sat down on the bed. "im so sorry benji, i do love you so much but i have to be with Myca. I have to look after them both. i am really very sorry." The tears ran down his face, i just wanted to cuddle him and kiss him and tell him that everything would be okay but i cant promise him that. Ben stood up and walked towards me and wrapped his warm arms around my body, i lay my head on his shoulder and hugged him tight. i didnt want to let him go, ever. "i love you danny." Ben whispered in my hear. His breath warmed up my neck and ear. "i love you too benji." i moved my head up and pulled back slightly just to look at his face. Ben leaned in and kissed me. A shudder ran down my back his warm lips brushed against mine. I never wanted this moment to end.
I pulled my head away from him and sat down on the bed. "Can we just talk tonight benny? I dont feel like drinking tonight." Ben nodded and walked through and he wanted us to tell them about myca. Well i had to but Ben was going to be my emotional support. James was half gone when we walked through and Cameron and Sam were messing about in the corner. Ben told me that they were in love but i dont know what was happening with them two. We were greeted with James yelled "BRUSNOP!" Daww that was such a cute name for me and Ben. "Me and Myca didnt break up." i announced, Cameron and Sam looked confused, just like Ben did when i told him. James was more sad. Sadder than i looked if im honest. I looked over to ben and his eyes were red raw from rubbing the tears away. "Myca's pregnant" I blurted out. James face dropped faster and his eyes widened. "what?!" James was extreamly shocked, He grabbed his phone and walked out the door barging past me and ben. Me, Cameron, Sam and Ben all looked at each other in confusion. "what the hell was that?" I asked. Cameron and Sam shrugged. I looked at ben and he looked as confused as i was. I cant deal with this today, too much emotion today.
I nodded my head to ben and we walked back through to the back room. I got myself down to my boxers and climbed into bed. It was so cold, "Benji, get in here and spoon me?" Ben nodded his head and climbed in behind me. His body was so warm. I was the little spoon for a change, mixing it up a bit, we talked a little until i fell asleep with Ben's arms wrapped around me and his head resting on my shoulder. It felt such a perfect way to fall asleep. I woke up and i felt so cosy and warm. I hit my phone and the light blinded me. i let out a moan. Oh god. 05:23, why the hell am i awake? I heard weird shouting coming from outside the bus. It sounded like james. I sneeked my body from underneith Bens lovely warm body, he grunted and repositioned himself. God he was so cute. I pulled on my cold jeans and a top. Jeez i had a pain in my head like someone was hitting it with a hammer. My eyes hadnt adjusted to the light in the hall yet. i felt so struck by the light and screwed up my face and had one eye shut. I went to the bathroom and grabbed my cigarettes from the counter and opened the door.
I heard James yelling down the phone to someone. What was going on? "But how could you be pregnant?" I heard him yell. Wait was he talking to Myca? My Myca. No, he couldnt be. James and Myca. I stood in the doorway with the door half open as james walked back and forth yelling down the phone. i listened intently. "Does Danny know it might not be his?" The words stung. I felt sick, my stomach turned. JAMES AND MYCA?! I dropped my cigarettes and through the door open. I grabbed James by the shirt and through him against the van. He dropped his phone and stared at me. "im sorry, im sorry, im sorry." he repeated himself over and over again. I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK JAMES?! WHEN? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" His body shaked underneith me, he repeated im sorry over and over again.
I slammed his body against the van. "ANSWER ME NOW!" i swear to god, ill kill him.
i hadn't even thought about Ben. Ben. WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN ME AND BEN?! we cant be together if I'm going to be a dad. oh lord. "Are you okay Danny sweety? you look a little pale? " I shut my eyes, "um, i need to get back to the tour bus, we must be leaving soon and i have stuff to do, sorry babe but ill phone you and we'll talk ok?" Myca leaned forward and she kissed me; i pulled away and kissed her on the cheek. I couldn't kiss her on the lips, it reminded me of Ben. I walked back to the tour bus where i was greeted by a huge hug by Ben. "I've told all the guys and they are happy for us. isn't that great?" He had the biggest grin on his face, i couldn't bare to look at him. I didn't want to break his heart, but i have to be with Myca. I HAVE to be with Myca for the babies sake. James popped a bottle of champagne "To BRUSNOP!" he yelled and took a large swig. Brusnop. A word that ran through me and gave me goosebumps. "So did you talk to Myca? what did she say? Is she okay?" I looked down at my fingers, I cant look at him, the tears began to run down my face. "Danny?" Ben urged me to talk. "We need to talk Benji. like seriously." i took his arm and pulled him into the back room as Sam and James shouted gay jokes at us. "Danny, whats up?"
how could i look into his eyes and after telling him that i love him, that i cant be with him? "I didn't break up with her benji, I'm so sorry." He looked at me with a confused face "so what? you chose her didn't you? You don't want to be with me?" i could see the rage in his eyes. its not my fault, i wanted to be with him more than he would ever know. but now he'll never know. Ben took a bottle from the side and through it against the wall. "WHAT THE HELL DANNY TALK TO ME?" He didn't know. I got so angry at him. "MYCA'S FUCKING PREGNANT! THIS IS WHY WE CANT BE TOGETHER. I HAVE TO DO IT FOR HER!" Ben's face fell in disbelief. He sat down on the bed. "im so sorry benji, i do love you so much but i have to be with Myca. I have to look after them both. i am really very sorry." The tears ran down his face, i just wanted to cuddle him and kiss him and tell him that everything would be okay but i cant promise him that. Ben stood up and walked towards me and wrapped his warm arms around my body, i lay my head on his shoulder and hugged him tight. i didnt want to let him go, ever. "i love you danny." Ben whispered in my hear. His breath warmed up my neck and ear. "i love you too benji." i moved my head up and pulled back slightly just to look at his face. Ben leaned in and kissed me. A shudder ran down my back his warm lips brushed against mine. I never wanted this moment to end.
I pulled my head away from him and sat down on the bed. "Can we just talk tonight benny? I dont feel like drinking tonight." Ben nodded and walked through and he wanted us to tell them about myca. Well i had to but Ben was going to be my emotional support. James was half gone when we walked through and Cameron and Sam were messing about in the corner. Ben told me that they were in love but i dont know what was happening with them two. We were greeted with James yelled "BRUSNOP!" Daww that was such a cute name for me and Ben. "Me and Myca didnt break up." i announced, Cameron and Sam looked confused, just like Ben did when i told him. James was more sad. Sadder than i looked if im honest. I looked over to ben and his eyes were red raw from rubbing the tears away. "Myca's pregnant" I blurted out. James face dropped faster and his eyes widened. "what?!" James was extreamly shocked, He grabbed his phone and walked out the door barging past me and ben. Me, Cameron, Sam and Ben all looked at each other in confusion. "what the hell was that?" I asked. Cameron and Sam shrugged. I looked at ben and he looked as confused as i was. I cant deal with this today, too much emotion today.
I nodded my head to ben and we walked back through to the back room. I got myself down to my boxers and climbed into bed. It was so cold, "Benji, get in here and spoon me?" Ben nodded his head and climbed in behind me. His body was so warm. I was the little spoon for a change, mixing it up a bit, we talked a little until i fell asleep with Ben's arms wrapped around me and his head resting on my shoulder. It felt such a perfect way to fall asleep. I woke up and i felt so cosy and warm. I hit my phone and the light blinded me. i let out a moan. Oh god. 05:23, why the hell am i awake? I heard weird shouting coming from outside the bus. It sounded like james. I sneeked my body from underneith Bens lovely warm body, he grunted and repositioned himself. God he was so cute. I pulled on my cold jeans and a top. Jeez i had a pain in my head like someone was hitting it with a hammer. My eyes hadnt adjusted to the light in the hall yet. i felt so struck by the light and screwed up my face and had one eye shut. I went to the bathroom and grabbed my cigarettes from the counter and opened the door.
I heard James yelling down the phone to someone. What was going on? "But how could you be pregnant?" I heard him yell. Wait was he talking to Myca? My Myca. No, he couldnt be. James and Myca. I stood in the doorway with the door half open as james walked back and forth yelling down the phone. i listened intently. "Does Danny know it might not be his?" The words stung. I felt sick, my stomach turned. JAMES AND MYCA?! I dropped my cigarettes and through the door open. I grabbed James by the shirt and through him against the van. He dropped his phone and stared at me. "im sorry, im sorry, im sorry." he repeated himself over and over again. I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK JAMES?! WHEN? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" His body shaked underneith me, he repeated im sorry over and over again.
I slammed his body against the van. "ANSWER ME NOW!" i swear to god, ill kill him.