You Matter Most

I ran my fingers through my hair, waiting for any sign of movement from my phone. A vibration, a blinking light, his ringtone, anything to show me that he was okay, even if he didn’t want me to pick him up. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, my fingers grazing over the bags under my eyes as I looked at the clock above the television.

2:59.

I looked back at my cell phone on the coffee table, the lamp glowing dimly above it. Why are you still awake? You know he’s out fucking someone as you worry about him. How pathetic. I shook my head, becoming a bit dizzy before a little bit of drowsiness lifted. I pulled my knees up onto my futon, burying my head, my face rubbing against my pink polyester pajama pants. After a few minutes, my eyes began to droop and the steady ticks of the analog clock tempting me to sleep.

Because lately you’ve been looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost and isn’t it obvious who’s been missing who the most.

Luke’s ringtone pumped my heart and caused my thoughts to run recklessly. I grabbed it off the coffee table, quickly bringing it to my ear.

“Hello?” I greeted, tiredness etched in my voice.

“Babe!” he called drunkingly, dragging out the ‘a’. Luke was giggling. “Can you,” he hiccupped, “do me a huge favor?” he asked, almost whining. I sighed.

“Of course, love.” At least he’s okay.

“Can you pick me up at…” he drifted. I pulled the phone from my ear when he yelled, slurring his words as he spoke something I didn’t understand. “…at Custard’s?” Custard?

“You mean Buster’s?” I asked a bit agitated from the lack of sleep on a school night. I could practically see Luke pouting; he hates it when I sound annoyed. Maybe if he didn’t party into the night and expected you to take care of him you wouldn’t be so annoyed.

“Don’t be mad,” he cooed. I sighed, running my finger through my hair and getting up.

“I’m on my way, wait for me, okay?” I asked him sweetly, grabbing my keys off their hook and heading into the cool winter air. Luke slurred out an “okay”.

/+\

I kicked my front door close, supporting most of Luke’s body weight on me. He reeked of beer and smoke, and he was trying to speak to me about something, but he was too drunk for me to understand. One of his plugs was missing, and he’ll be pissed about it later. I left him standing by himself as I pulled out the futon, adjusting the pillows as Luke said something about the ceiling fan moving too fast.

“Go take a shower,” I ordered. Luke smiled at me and started removing his clothes until he was in his boxers and the necklace I gave him for our one-year. I sighed, telling him to go grab a pair of clean boxers from my dresser and he complied. I watched him sway as he made his way to my bathroom, hearing the shower run and him stepping in. Exhausted, I threw myself onto my futon, nuzzling into my pillow, leaving the blanket off of me. The ceiling fan turned above me, the clock ticking softly. The background noise of my home and the night outside helped me drift to sleep as I heard the shower cut off and footsteps sounding louder as I heard the futon squeak, Luke climbing in next to me, draping his cold arm over my waist and pulling me closer to him. Luke reached over me and turned the lamp off, a soft click in the murmur of background noise.

“I love you,” he whispered against my neck, kissing a spot beneath my hairline.

“I love you too,” I whispered back, butterflies letting lose in my stomach, a warm feeling coming over me. It wasn’t long before I feel asleep in his arms.