If I Could Change Your Mind

Jack slammed the door behind him. He had all intentions of keeping his promise to Rian, he wasn’t going to cut his wrists. No, too obvious, he’d cut on his right side. He could easily hide it with his t-shirt. He went back to his bunk and while taking off his shirt he pulled out the razor from it’s hiding spot and dragged the blade across his side, by his pelvic bone. Warm crimson colored lines appear sending a stinging sensation. Jack starts crying, partly from his heartache and partly from the pain. “Goddamn it, Alex!” Jack yells kicking the Alex’s bunk. “I fucking hate who you turned me into.” Then he cut a few more times on his side until he was satisfied.
He let them bleed for a little bit and then decided he should clean them; if they got infected someone would find out again. Jack couldn’t have that. After he washed them and bandaged them properly, he laid on the couch and cried a little more. “God...I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really hope Alex doesn’t hate me right now, I need him...”
Back at the mall, Alex is sitting at a food court table with a partially eaten sandwich in front of him. His friends are talking and having fun, but he can’t seem to join in. He’s worried about Jack, but at the same time he can’t stand him right now. Jack was poisoning his happy carefree thoughts. “Alex?” Kelsey asked, putting her hand on his arm. He comes back to reality and looks at her. “Yeah, what is it?” He quickly realized how agitated that sounded and smiled at her, trying to make her smile. “Is everything okay between you and Jack? Ever since you guys talked you’ve been strangely quiet.” Her eyes were filled with concern. “I don’t know, he just gets on my last nerve. I don’t know what’s wrong with him and he won’t tell me. The depressed look he wears all the time is plaguing my thoughts. I don’t know what to do about it.” Alex sighed. Kelsey felt extremely guilty, she felt that Alex and Jack drifting farther apart was partly her fault. She also noticed Jack drastic personality change that happened when she and Alex started dating. “You should go talk to him. You guys are best friends, but ever since I came and started using all your time, it’s been different between you two. I feel bad about it...I want you guys to be happy again. Maybe you guys could use some, one on one time. Take the car and go talk to him.” She said softly, trying to think of other ways she could fix their broken friendship. “Yeah, yeah I should...will you come with me? At least on the ride there? Then at least you can drive back here and pick up the others so you’re not stuck here all day.” Alex suggested. “I don’t know Alex, I’m in the way enough as it is...” She trailed. He took her hands in his and whispered “Please Kelsey. Come with me.” With that he kissed her gently and slowly, trying to convince her in a way that he couldn’t do with words. When he drew back, she smiled at him. “Come on, let’s go.” They left Alicia, Rian and Zack at the table at the food court after they briefly explained where they were going. They didn’t seem to mind, so Alex and Kelsey got in the car and departed on their way back to the tour bus.
When they reached the tour bus, Alex parked the car before leaning over and giving Kelsey a kiss. She pulled him closer, deepening their kiss. After a few intense moments she released him, and he got out of the car. Alex reached in his pocket to pull out the keys and lock the car, but soon realized they weren’t where he thought he had left them. He looked in the car window and saw Kelsey sliding into the drivers seat, turning the key in the ignition. “Hey, aren’t you coming?” Alex questioned, knocking on the window. Kelsey rolled the window down answering “Nah, I think it’s better if you do this on your own. I told you I’ve been getting in the way, I don’t want to make this conversation awkward too. I’ll go back and get the others and maybe we’ll go to a few more stores so you have time to talk and stuff. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back. Love ya!” She leaned over and gave him a quick peck before rolling up the window and driving off. Alex proceeded to the door of the tour bus and walked in.
Jack had finally stopped crying and was sitting alone with his thoughts, a fuzzy pink blanket on top of him. He was still shirtless, but it didn’t matter because no one was there. When the door unexpectedly opened, Jack jumped, freaking out. “Jack? Can I talk to you?” Alex’s voice drifted in as he came through the door. Jack scrambled to make sure the blanket was covering his side, realizing his shirt was still in his bunk. “Hi Alex, what are you doing back here already? Where’s everyone else?” Jack asked, surprised they hadn’t followed him in the bus. “They haven’t left the mall yet. I came back because I realized what a dick I was being earlier and I wanted to apologize.” Alex sits down on the couch next to him, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Oh, yeah well, it happens. I should apologize for ruining your date, I’m sorry dude. Lately it’s just been stressful and stuff, and I guess seeing you with her kind of bothers me. But whatever.” Jack murmurers, not wanting to ruin the moment with his jealousy. “It’s okay, no probs. Friends?” Alex smiles hopefully. “Always.” Jack grins and Alex takes him into a hug. Unfortunately Alex’s arm starts pressing against Jack side, he winces in pain from his fresh cuts. Alex felt him tense up and let him go fast enough to see Jacks pained expression. “Jack, you okay?” Alex inquires. “Yeah, totally.” Jack pulls his blanket up higher, to hide his side. Alex notices the gesture and when he thinks Jack had relaxed his grip on the blanket enough, Alex takes it and pulls, revealing a plus sized band-aid on Jack’s hip. His eyes widen as he asks “What happened?” “Nothing, nothing” Jack quickly thought of a lie “After the show yesterday I fell down the stairs, but you don’t remember because you were too busy eating your girlfriends face off.” Jack said, bitterness in his tone. “Oh...” Alex trailed, suddenly feeling bad. Kelsey was right; he had been ignoring Jack. But still, why would Jack hide it? It’s not like he was scared of being naked infront of Alex, he was over half the time, so why would he care if he’s shirtless? Alex didn’t want to question it right now, though. “So I was thinking, maybe you and I should do something, just the two of us. Why don’t we go to the park? There’s one just down the street, it’ll be fun.” Alex suggested. “Sure, why not? Can I grab a shirt first?” Jack questioned, grinning slightly. He was secretly excited to spend some time alone with Alex, they hadn’t done anything together since Alex met Kelsey. “No, no you can’t.” Alex joked and messed up Jack’s hair. “Great, now I have to fix my hair too.” Jack said, running his fingers through it. “Why? It’s not like you need to impress anyone. Besides, your hair always sticks up funny like that.” Alex commented, making a point. “It’s not the same!” Jack complained while smiling. He got up from the couch and in a seconds Jack was ready to go. Alex led the way and in about ten minutes, they arrived at the park.
“Ooh look! There’s a playground! Come on Alex!” Jack shouted as he ran like a little kid toward the playground. Their walk over there had relieved a lot of the lingering tension between them, and Jack was more than thrilled about being alone with Alex. He felt like his normal immature self again. “Alex! Push me on the swing come on!” Jack exclaimed, sitting down on one. Alex groans, but runs over and obliges. “Jack, what have you been eating? You’re getting too fat I can barely push you!” Alex complained. “Maybe you should work out more. Higher Alex, higher!” Jack cheered. “It would help if you pumped your legs, I can’t do all the work!” Alex pushed harder, but Jack jumped off. “It’s no fun if you have to work at it.” He stuck his tongue out at Alex, who rolled his eyes. “You have to go down the slide with me then, ‘cause you made me push you.” He took Jack’s hand and dragged him up the playset to the tallest slide. Jack sat down first, and Alex scooted behind him, wrapping his legs around Jack’s waist. It was on his cuts and it pained him, but Jack didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He didn’t want Alex to ever let go. He was enjoying Alex’s playfulness too much. Alex pushed them off and they went down the slide faster than anticipated, so when they reached the end the flew off, landing with Alex on top of Jack. Alex rolled off him and they were laying on the painful woodchips, laughing their heads off. In the heat of the moment Alex leaned over and kissed Jack on the cheek, his way of showing he was having a great time with Jack. Jack turned his head and looked at Alex, who was staring back at him, and blushed a little. They used to do stupid things like kiss each other all the time, but once Kelsey came in the picture they had stopped acting like that. Then again, back then Jack didn’t realize his feelings for Alex, so it wasn’t as meaningful to him as it is now. They stare at eachother for a moment longer and Jack starts leaning in towards Alex, to give him more of a passionate kiss. Jack wants Alex to know how much he loves him in that moment, Kelsey instantly forgotten in Jack’s mind. He only focusing on him and Alex and the feelings he has about him. Jack’s eyes began fluttering closed as he got close enough to feel Alex’s breath on his lips. He was about to kiss him when the off key notes of the ‘Entertainer’ cuts through the air, snapping both Alex and Jack into reality. “The ice cream truck!” Alex exclaimed. Jack’s eyes opened fast as he saw Alex jump to his feet, looking around wildly for the ice cream truck. Of all the junk foods Alex enjoys, ice cream was his all time favorite. Jack reluctantly got up, but then shouts “Race you to the ice cream truck!” as he starts tearing towards the parking lot. “Loser has to pay!” Alex yells, almost catching up. In the end Jack beat him to the truck and he purposely picks out the most expensive ice cream to bother Alex. After they both ordered what they want, Alex says “Jack, you are an expensive date. Look at this bill, I had to pay five bucks for that popsickle. That’s a lot of money for ice cream!” Jack laughs “I blame the economy for raising the price of ice cream!” They both crack up and then ‘Reckless Abandon’ by Blink-182 starts blasting from Alex’s phone. He checks his phone and it’s a text from Kelsey saying “Hey, on our way home, how was your talk with Jack?” Alex quickly typed back “Went great. Went 2 park w/ Jack, be back in 15.” “Who is it?” Jack asked, peering over Alex’s shoulder. “Kelsey, they’re on their way home. We should probably head back soon.” Alex said. “Oh, yeah...” Jack didn’t want to think about Kelsey. She had just ruined his time with Alex, but she didn’t know that. No one did. Jack sighed “Let’s go.”
When they made it back, only Rian and Zack were in their bus. “Where were you guys? We gotta go, we had to leave a half hour ago!” Rian exclaims. “Sorry, we thought everyone would be hungry so we picked up Chinese food. Where’s Kelsey?” Alex asks as Jack puts the bags on the tiny kitchen table. “Back on the Purple Vomit bus. They left already. At least you’re here now so we can go. Kelsey told me to tell you to IM her at 6 by the way.” Rian says, rummaging through the bags of Chinese food. Alex looked at the clock; it was 6:10. “Shit.” Alex jogged to his bunk and grabbed his computer, then came back into the living area, banging on the computer. “It’s not working! It won’t connect to the satellite internet. Hey Jack, can I borrow your computer? Please?” Alex inquired. “I don’t know...” Jack says. “Pretty please Jacky, I’ll love you forever and ever...” Alex made the puppy dog face at Jack while he hugged him. It was so dang cute that Jack couldn’t resist it, and he gave in. “Fine, just give it back to me when you're done." "Yay! Thanks Jack, you're the best!" Alex gave him another quick hug before grabbing Jacks computer and logging on.
On the screen flashed 5 messages from kelsico17 to alex23. "Alex? I’m glad you finally could join me >:(“
Alex23: yeah sorry baby, the internet was being stupid xx
Kelsico17: haha! you always have an excuse! How was your chat with Jack?
Alex23: Great! We went to the park and had a blast!
Kelsico17: Yay! The bromance continues! :D
Jack looked over in time to notice Alex grinning at the computer screen, and then get up and go towards the bunks. Jack sighed, then decided to watch mindless tv with Rian and Zack like they always did late at night.
Hours later when the ice cream truckers marathon ended, Jack got up in search of his computer. It was about midnight and the others had fallen asleep, but Jack wasn't tired. When he opened the curtain at Alex's bunk, it revealed him sleeping softly and Jack couldn't help to notice how adorable Alex looked with his eyelashes splayed across his cheeks and a gentle smile on his lips. He looked like a little kid, adorable and sweet. Jack couldn’t help but to think about waking up to that every morning, it be heaven.
Then Jack heard an annoying beep sound from the computer, bring him out of his fantasy. He looked at the screen and noticed Alex fell asleep while messaging Kelsey. Alex wrote a message telling her he was tired and going to fall asleep soon, but he forgot to send it.
Kelsico17: I was trying to make a funny XD haha
Kelsico17: Alex? You alive?
Jack grinned, taking the laptop without waking Alex. Jack thought about just messaging Kelsey and telling her that Alex went to be, but that wouldn’t be fun. This would be a fun thing to do to entertain himself, while everyone on the bus was asleep.
Alex23: Yeah, and you tried but didn’t succeed. Thanks for trying?
Kelsico17: well I laughed? :P
Alex23: Doesn’t matter if the other person doesn’t find it funny.
Kelsico17: Yeah whatever. Anyways you excited to be performing again tomorrow? I always miss it after days off!
Alex23: Obviously! I’d probably be happier if we had a better opening act, though
Kelsico17: Funny sarcasm? Not.
Alex23: I wasn’t being sarcastic.
It didn’t take too long before Jack’s cold messages started to confuse and upset Kelsey. Kelsey didn’t understand why “Alex” was being rude and hurtful to her especially since for the past few hours her and Alex were sending cutey messages. But Kelsey also didn’t know she was no longer talking to Alex.
Kelsico17: Are you okay, Alex? This isn’t very like you.
Alex23: Then you don’t know me. I’m fine. Maybe I’m just getting sick of talking to you.
Kelsico17: Oh. If that’s how you really feel then you won’t have to worry about me talking to you any more!
Alex23: Like I care, bitch. Too bad I have to hear your shitty voice during soundcheck.
Jack hit Kelsey exactly where it hurt. Her voice. To Kelsey, singing was the only thing that made her happy, the only thing she felt good at, and when people insult it, it hurt a lot more then she’d show. Kelsey logged off before replying, this made Jack smile, knowing he got to her, but as soon as he closed his laptop the guilty sunk in. “Shit.” Jack mumbled to himself. There was no way Alex wouldn’t hear about this in the morning. Kelsey was pissed and would probably, no definitely give Alex the cold shoulder. Then again, maybe that would mean Kelsey and Alex would break up. Jack smirked at that thought, then frowned again, but then Alex would be sad. Jack didn’t want to break them up. Jack sighed. He was full of mixed feelings, he just wanted to cut again. So he did.