If I Could Change Your Mind

Jack immediately moved away from Rian, putting his hands in front of his face, as if it could hide the fact he was full out bawling. Rian went to hug Jack, but this just made Jack scoot farther away. He lost Alex, the one person he was trying hardest to keep and Jack just couldn’t take it. He didn’t want to be with anyone right now. He wanted to be completely alone so he could just die. Anything to escape the unbearable amount of pain he was feeling right now. Jack was filled with an overwhelming amount of loneliness so he finally allowed Rian to pull him into a hug and let himself cry all over Rian’s new shirt. “You. Can’t. Tell. Anyone.” Jack choked out in between sobs. Jack knew anyone who was just outside of the room heard him, but he prayed no one was there.
Rian thinks for a moment before he says anything. He is the definition of speechless. It was way too much to take in, and Jack being gay was the farthest guess from Rians mind. Sure, he knew Alex and Jack are really close, closer than he’s ever seen two guy be, but for Jack to have a crush on Alex completely shocked him. And then Rian thought, what if Alex asks about Jack? Rian had never liked lying, especially to his close friends/bandmates, so if Alex asks if he knew what was wrong with Jack, Rian wasn’t quite sure if he could lie. He loved them both equally, they were his best friends. He would never share Jack’s secrets, he still hadn’t told anyone about Jack cutting, but at the same time, this involved Alex. Alex needed to know. When he finally made up his mind, Rian replied, “Of course Jack.” He knew it’s what Jack wanted to hear, and if it would help calm Jack down, he’d lie.
As they chased after Alex, Alicia quickly fills Kelsey in on the fight that Alex and Jack just had. They follow a fuming Alex to the Greenroom, which is on the other side of the arena. He kicks over trash cans and knocks things off the walls, oblivious to the two girls running after him. Apparently he didn’t hear them calling his name, or their cries of pain when they accidentally tripped over the things Alex threw behind him. When he reached the Greenroom, he slammed the door and locked it, leaving the two girls on the other side, out of breath.
Alicia made it to the door first, and started shaking the handle. “It’s locked.” Breathes Alicia to Kelsey, who was practically crawling. Kelsey had been hit with crap more than Alicia so she was in pain and winded. “Shit.” Kelsey and Alicia started banging on the door shouting “Alex, open the door!” When he didn’t, Kelsey kicked the door in frustration and yelled “Goddamnit Alex, open the fucking door!” “Kels, calm down, he’s already having friend drama. His girlfriend yelling at him is probably not helping.” Kelsey glared at Alicia for saying that and she continues “Well what do I know? Pfft...” “Don’t you know how to unlock a door with a bobbypin?” Kelsey remembers suddenly. “Oh yeah! Can I borrow one?” Kelsey takes a bobby pin out of her beautiful golden locks and hands it to Alicia, who kneels in front of the doorknob. Kelsey inspects Alicia’s hair as she kneels on the floor and says “Alicia, I can help you do your hair ya know. I’ll show you how to fix it.” Alicia’s hand immediately goes to her hair as she replies “I thought it looked good today...”
About thirty seconds later, the two girls burst through the door. “Alex, what the hell? What happened with Jack? You said it was good between you guys!” Kelsey looked down at Alex, who was sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees and his head down. “It was...but then Jack went off and tried to fuck up our relationship and for awhile now he’s been keep things from me...he just pisses me off!” Alex, needing an out lit for his anger, jumps up and flips the small coffee table in front of the couch. “Alex, it’s okay, calm down, maybe he has good reason to. He didn’t tell you why he has been remember.” Alicia reminds him. “He doesn’t have to. It’s because of Kelsey.” Alex’s eyes meet Kelsey’s and she snaps “It’s not just my fault, we’re in this together. You’re just as much to blame.” “Maybe, but as I think about it, Jack didn’t act like this until you came along. You’re the one that’s ruining Jack’s life.” Alex holds the gaze, making Kelsey feel uncomfortable. She knew she was in the way of their friendship, but she wasn’t the one reason for his depression...was she? Alicia notices the change in Kelsey’s expression and says “Kels, it’s not your fault. This is between them, don’t let Alex make you think it’s all you.” “Shut the fuck up Alicia, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Just because you and Rian are always stalking Jack and I doesn’t mean you know shit! Mind your own fucking business for once!” Alex barks, making Alicia jump at the sound of his voice. There’s an awkward moment of silence as Alicia tries to comprehend what Alex said. “Just trying to help...” Alicia mumbles, moving towards the door and quietly exiting. Alex is breathing heavy, his anger practically tangible in the air. “Alex, calm down honey, you’re practically going insane...” “Fuck off Kelsey! Just leave me alone, this is all your fault. Look what you did.” Alex’s voice is softer now, but its cold and toneless. “I didn’t do anything. Fix this yourself.” Alex doesn’t reply and Kelsey steps out of the room, more than a little upset about what Alex said.
As soon Kelsey left the room, Alex locked the door again. He wanted to be alone. Tonight, he single handedly lost his best friend. Jack’s been depressed for awhile, and Alex didn’t do anything to help. He barely even noticed. What kind of best friend was he? He knew this wasn’t Kelsey’s fault, not even the slightest bit, it was his. All his fault. He wasn’t there for Jack when Jack needed him most. “It’s all my fucking fault.” Alex mumbled to himself, “I’m the fucking screw up!” He kicked the mini-fridge in frustration, and it opened, revealing shelves fully stocked of different types of alcohol and a few bottles of water. Alex contemplated about drinking something, then decided against it. He sat on the couch across from the fridge, staring down at the floor and thought about Jack. How close they had been from the very start and how he was the one that threw it away. But Alex wasn’t going to take back what he said, no, he’s true to his word. The only way to fix this would be for Jack to tell him what was wrong, and Alex knew that wouldn’t be soon.
Alex looks back at the fridge, then decides that he really does need a drink. He opens it, pulling out the largest bottle of Jack Daniels he could find. He looked at the bottle for a few minutes, mentally debating if he should actually go through with this, before actually popping off the top. “If one drink could make tonight slip my mind...” Alex sang the opening lyrics to ‘Liquid Confidence’ by You Me At Six, then took a swig of the whiskey. He didn’t want to remember any part of today, and if drinking would help him, he’d drink until his memory was completely erased. He’d drink till he’s completely numb. So as he sat on the floor, Alex took another sip, and another, and another until he couldn’t hear the little voice inside telling him this was a bad idea. He crawled closer to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Everclear. Alex remembered Vinny once telling him how “two shots of Everclear could make you so drunk you could barely walk.” Alex smirked finding this in the mini-fridge, it’s exactly what he needed. He looked around the room for something he could use as a shot glass. There was nothing else in the room except for a roll of tinfoil, so he ended up just making one out of it. There was a tiny hole in the bottom that he kept having to fix, but he was getting too drunk to fix it right. Around his fourth shot he hears a knock on the door and then someone rustling with the door knob trying to open it. “Hold your fucking horses, I’m coming,” Alex yelled, his words slurred, as he stumbles to his feet to open the door. “Alex? Is that you in there?” Rian asks before Alex opens the door, and as soon as he did Rian pulled him out of the room by his shirt and Zack picked him up, throwing over his shoulder, Everclear still in Alex’s hand. “We were suppose to leave for the hotel a half an hour ago, but thanks to you running off, Jack is the only one who’s actually there.” Rian annoyance running deep through his words. “Yeah yeah” Alex says, not paying attention at all. “I just want to sleep.”
Their hotel is walking distance from the arena and they somehow get there without running into any fans. In the elevator, Zack gently puts Alex down, handing him his room key and Rian handing Alex his bag. He leans against the side of the elevator, holding the key and the Everclear in one hand and his bag in the other. While Rian and Zack’s backs are turned, Alex takes another sip.Their room numbers are 307 and 309, right next to each other. “Oh I probably should’ve told you this earlier but,” Rian said as Alex put his card in the door, unlocking it, “you’re rooming with Jack.” Before Alex could even protest, Rian and Zack were in their room. Alex swore before entering, then dropped his suitcase next to the bathroom and put the remainder of his alcohol in the mini-fridge. He could deal with Jack as long as he got the bed near the window and Jack stayed quiet, but as soon as he walked past the bathroom door he saw none of this was possible.
“Aw hell no!” Alex yells nearly knocking Jack off the only bed in the room. Yes, there was only one king sized bed in the middle of the room for them both, to Alex’s dismay, to share. “What the fuck? We can’t afford a room with two beds in it? We’re All Time Fucking Low!” Alex was furious and the alcohol was clouding his mind so he couldn’t think rationally. “RIAN!” Alex bellows, spinning around so fast it made him dizzy, causing him to almost trip on his own suitcase. His head stayed cloudy and he was stumbling so bad he barely made it to Rian’s door. “RIAN FUCKING DAWSON!” He pounded on Rian and Zack’s door, screaming at the top of his lungs. Rian quickly opens it, putting his hand over Alex’s mouth. “It’s like 2am, why are you running around yelling in the hallways? Some people actually like to sleep at this time.” Rian moved his hand away, before asking “What do you want anyways?” “Switch rooms with me.” Alex commands. “No.” Rian replies quickly and stern. Alex pouted and Rian drags him back into Alex’s original room by the collar, like he’s a puppy. “You’re sleeping here. If you didn’t run off and got here on the time like you were suppose to, then you probably could've.” With that Rian left, leaving an awkward silence between the ex-best friends.
The two boys just stared at each other before Jack mumbled “Sorry.” It’s the only thing he’s said since he asked Rian to keep his secret. Alex pretends he doesn’t hear him and stumbles over to the side of the bed closest to the window. He gets under the covers and gives Jack a glare, because he wants to go to bed and Jack is still watching TV. Jack, knowing Alex for so long, quickly understands and turns the TV off. “Goodnight?” Jack asks, his voice full of despair, trying to hold back the tears he’s been crying ever since he last talked to Alex. He hoped Alex would say it back, but he has a feeling he wouldn’t.
“You ssstay o-over theree” Alex said drawing a curvy line with his finger on the bed, giving Jack barely any room on the bed. “And I ssstay huur.” He points to his spot and turned the lights off, getting cozy under the covers. “All-all right” Jack whispers. Jack tries to sleep, he really does but every time he turns and sees Alex he wants to cry again, not to mention when he actually does fall asleep he’d fall off the bed, and onto the floor with a loud thud! After he fell for the fifth time, Jack debates sleeping on the floor when he hears Alex, “Goddamnit Jack! I’m trying to sleep!” He seems angry so Jack just lays on the floor, staring at the ceiling. After a moment of silence, Jack hears “Jack? Are you all right?” His voice sounds slightly concerned but more tired than anything. Alex can sense Jack moving around and not sleeping well, but he just assumes that Jack is having a bad nightmare that he can’t shake off. The constant waking puts Alex in a sleepy daze, but Alex being so tired with the headache the size of Texas, just wants to sleep. Jack slowly gets up to kneel and just barely looks over the bed at Alex. His pink hair was a mess, part of it in his face, he still had his eyes shut, but he was facing Jack “Yeah...” He says so quietly that Alex can barely hear him. “Come up here.” He pats the spot next to him, softly, keeping his eyes shut. Jack slowly moves up onto the bed, unsure of what to think. When he lays down his nose is barely an inch from Alex’s and he can feel Alex soft breathing on his face. “Turn around.” Alex breathes. Jack obliges, somewhat confused. Alex moves close to him, wrapping his one arm around Jack’s waist, basically spooning the younger boy. Alex rubs his nose affectionately against the side of Jack’s face. “Maybe this will help you sleep better.” Alex whispers in Jack’s ear. Does this mean him and Alex aren’t fighting anymore? Jack smiles at the thought that he had his best friend back. “I may have made it rain, please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain, and this song is my sorry.” Alex sang softly in Jack’s ear. Jack loved the way Alex sometimes sang songs to show how he’s feeling, even if it was Britney Spears. Jack laughed quietly, “I love you, Alex.” but found that Alex had already fallen asleep. Knowing that he was going to wake up next to a happy, adorable Alex made Jack fall asleep fast, with a smile plastered on his face.