I Wanna Get Well

It’s been two days since I moved in with Johnny and it was...strange. Well, to put it lightly. We stayed in separate rooms still and slept in our own beds but we were always together when we were not going to bed. And I have to say, I liked it. I got uncomfortable sometimes, not used to being conjoined at the hip with anyone anymore, but when I told him so, he would give me some much appreciated space. Sometimes I didn't even have to say anything, he would feel my tension on his own and just scoot over or go straighten something up somewhere. It was sweet.

And really weird that he seemed to know me so well already. It’s like he could read my mind.

I was still working as his maid, though I didn't feel so comfortable with the idea of it. It was my house too now, so it didn't really seem fair to be cleaning our house and then getting paid for it. Cleaning where I lived was just how I lived. I talked to Matt about it earlier. He said we'll talk when Johnny and I go to the studio today. They were having practice a little later than usual - one instead of the common time of ten - since Matt and Val were visiting her parents. So everyone else is also finding their own obligations to do. Follow the leader, I guess?

Well both Johnny and I have no obligations to do. Believe me, we ended up checking with the other too, to see if they could entertain us. Brian has to spend time with his little sister since she was having boy issues and Zack is still trying to talk to his artist who threatened to quit without killing him. Johnny’s parents were on their anniversary getaway and Parker still hadn't tried to contact me. I can't say I'm shocked, he was probably still getting over the anger of my rejection to his idea. It bummed me out a bit he didn't try to contact me, but I would live.

So it brings me to right now. I am currently in the bathroom, my phone playing a new band that I had stumbled across. Their name slips my mind but I really like their songs. Very nice beat. I frowned at my reflection, lowering my hand. No, it still didn't look right to me. I raised my hand again, narrowing my eyes as I played with my bangs. Well shit, why is this so hard?

"Hey Nix, did you want - " The voice cut short and the footfalls I heard had stopped. I turned my head to see Johnny standing in the bathroom doorway, one hand on the door frame and his mouth open from his paused sentence. His eyes were concentrated on my hair. Well, the amount that was still attached to my head. See, I had decided I wanted straight bangs instead of my stupid swoop. So, without Johnny’s knowledge, I had snuck off to cut them with the scissors in hand. But, sadly, I suck at cutting things in a straight line so the hair on the right edge of the bangs were longer than the left.

"Uhhh...this isn't what is looks like?" I offered slowly, a wide eyed stare being sent to my boyfriend. Wow, it was still weird to say that. He had officially asked me two days ago after he made me make that promise but it was still odd to think about. I was someone’s girlfriend.... Nope, still weird. Johnny sighed, shaking his head.

"Have you ever done this before?"

"Once. My mom had to cut the rest of my hair to match the chunk I had cut off. Lost six inches that summer." Johnny shook his head at me.

"Alright, hop up on the counter." I brushed the hair I had already cut off into the sink before doing so. He pulled open a drawer on the counter and pulled out a comb. From there he began to straighten out my bangs, giving the necessary clips to make it the way I had wanted. I was silent for most of the task until Johnny spoke. "So did you have any other radical ideas to do to your hair?"

"Cutting my bangs isn't radical," I argued with a frown. He glanced at my eyes and smiled softly before continuing with his job.

"Okay, anything else you were planning to do to alter your hair style?"

"I’m tired of white. I bought some black hair dye," I replied, waving my hand in the general direction of the toilet. I had placed the box on top of the commode, planning to mess with that once I was done with my bangs. By the time I washed it out and dried my hair it would have been time to head to the studio. Dammit, I still need to talk to Zack about Brian. We, kinda, haven’t told any of the guys about us so I figured we might want to get on that in a few days.

"Have you ever dyed your hair on your own?" Johnny asked, putting the scissors and comb back into the drawer and shutting it with his hip. I pursed my lips and slowly let my eyes slide to the left and stare at a wall. "Let me guess, someone had to do your hair every time it started to fade, huh?"

"Yup," I replied, popping the 'p'. Johnny shook his head at me, yet again, with a soft smile.

"Alright, I’ll help you. Sit on the toilet, facing the commode." I followed his instructions, still humming along to my phone. I heard him doing something with the hair dye, soon shaking a bottle of liquid-y goo as he sat on the edge of the tub. On his hands were inhuman looking gloves, causing me to laugh. "What’s so funny?"

"It looks like those gloves are shaped for an alien," I giggled out. He looked at his hands and shook his head. "What?"

"You’re just like Jimmy." I blinked a couple of times. That was news to me. I didn't see a resemblance to the fallen drummer at all. He was tall, I was short. He was loud and outgoing and I was a hermit. The only things we had in common was that we knew the guys and I would soon also have black hair. Johnny quickly decided that the ceiling was very important for he started to concentrate on it while still shaking up the contents of the bottle in his hand. "Every time he would dye someone’s hair or his own he would always complain the gloves were never shaped right, like they were made for some animal or something. 'It’s like people at the company don’t even have hands!' "

I giggled at his "impression" of Jimmy. It sounded nothing like him from what I had heard and he tried a little too hard at attempting to add in the lisp for it to sound right. He paused, staring at me and grinning. "I have a feeling that Jimmy would scold you and teach you how to say it right."

"Probably would," Johnny agreed, nodding his head. "He would probably insist that if I didn't learn how to say it right, I would be a disappointment to his family."

That was when Johnny fell silent, a deep sadness in his eyes. I frowned, worry instantly overflowing me. What had I said? "Johnny?"

"It’s his birthday today." Those four words felt like a stab to my heart. I could see tears filling Johnny’s eyes and I quickly took him into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, the bottle of dye falling to the ground, forgotten as it seeped out and onto the tile. His head was nestled in the crook of my neck and I tried to console him by running my hand up and down his back. We sat like that for a few minutes until he had calmed. He was constantly sniffling but not one tear had fallen.

"You know, we can go visit him today, if you want," I whispered, running my hand through his hair. He nodded against my shoulder and muttered something I could hardly make out. Something about my hair. I shook my head with a soft smile. "Shut up, my hair can wait another day. C’mon."

I finally eased him off the tub and carefully maneuvered both of us over the black liquid on the floor. We'll probably had a nice little stain from now on. Soon enough we were pulling into the cemetery’s parking lot, silence filling the car. I grasped his hand and gave a soft smile. Johnny smiled back before we both climbed out of the car. We walked down the path, hand in hand, Johnny leading me to the tombstone. It was in a secluded area, Jimmy’s neighbors on either side three yards away. What had surprised me was that it was not empty there. The tombstone was covered in flowers and candles, but it also had something else.

Four other people. Brian, Zack, Matt, and Val.

They were sitting on a blanket that was stretched out on the ground. They were silent until we were a bit closer to them. Zack was the first one to notice us, smiling at our interlocked hands. "So that’s quite different from what I had predicted."

"Well, I didn't get to tell you everything," I chuckled as everyone turned up to look at us. He nodded and silence fell again as Johnny and I joined their half-assed circle.

"So what happened to all your plans?" Johnny accused, jokingly but softly.

"We did visit my parents but we felt we needed to be here too," Val spoke, stroking Matt's arms. She sat in front of him, his arms wrapped around her waist and head resting on her shoulder. Matt's eyes were shut but he was obviously aware of what was going on around him, nodding in agreement. I welcomed Matt’s eyes shut. I had a strong feeling he would cry if he were to face us all and I didn't want that.

"Kenna was already out with my dad. Turns out they wanted me to not be home alone today. They knew how I would react. I ended up coming here and stumbling across Zack before these two joined us," Brian spoke, nodding towards the couple.

"And I had been stressed enough at work. Abby wouldn't let me through the door since she knew what the date was. So I decided to come see him," Zack replied, shrugging slightly. I could tell they were all emotionally drawn here, almost as if it were a beacon. I stared at the tombstone that was sticking out of the ground. His full name was scrawled across with his birth and death year. Across was a quote I felt was definitely for the hyperactive drummer. Jimmy jumped into life and never touched bottom.

"What’s your excuse?" Matt teased, his voice hoarse as if he had been crying before Johnny and I had showed. It wouldn't have shocked me, I'm pretty sure they all had so far and was just hiding it.

I looked at Johnny, unsure of what to say. Did I tell them the truth or would Johnny get upset, not wanting them to know how it had come about. He gave my hand a squeeze before speaking. "I was going to help her dye her hair but I had a mental crack. Nix knew that I should be here."

"You make me sound like a psychic. I just hoped it would make you feel better," I argued, blushing profusely. The group smiled at me in a 'its cute how clueless you are' kind of way. I frowned, causing Johnny to pull me in his lap and wrap his arms around my waist, kissing my temple.

"Its okay Nix. I know why you figured it, and I thank you. Its just what I needed," he whispered in my ear. I continued to blush and stare at my lap, but now a smile was on my face. It fell silent for a few minutes and I began to do my uncomfortable fidgeting. I knew I was probably annoying Johnny but I didn't care too much. I was too quiet and I didn't approve.

"I can’t take it!" I suddenly exclaimed, making everyone around me jump. I could feel Johnny's body tense up and I sighed, shooting an apologetic smile around and kissing Johnny's forehead as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to make Jimmy any happier. Us just sitting around his grave sulking? Yeah, its not honoring his memory or anything of the such. I remember when my mom's mom passed away we would get together on her birthday and share stories about her. I know you guys probably have a million times already, but another time won’t hurt anyone."

"Fee is right." Matt finally opened his eyes, showing us they were a light pink, proof that he had cried earlier. He gave a soft smile towards me, almost thankful. "Jimmy would kick our ass if he knew this is what we were doing on his birthday."

"He would kick our asses and throw forties at us," Brian chuckled. The rest of the group laughed too. Soon we enter the next hour, talking and sharing stories of the jolly giant. Okay, I listened and laughed but yeah. It was weird because by the end, with the comments I had made and way I had made them, the rest of the group agreed with Johnny in thinking I reminded them of Jimmy. I was blushing deeply as Johnny led me back the car, everyone splitting off into separate ways to wherever they had parked.

"I still think you guys are crazy. Watch, when you guys get in the studio in a while, you'll think 'wow we were wrong'," I spoke, wrinkling my nose in distaste. Johnny shook his head in reply, kissing my temple. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders while mine was around his waist.

"Nope. Why can’t you just admit you’re like a shorter Jimmy?" Johnny asked, a small smile on his face. I shrugged in reply. In reality, I just couldn't accept it. Jimmy was someone who was important, and always put a smile on everyone's face just by being around. I was nothing like Jimmy and I never would be. Soon enough Johnny was holding my door open for me to climb in. Right before he shut the door, he smiled. "I guess we should get you some more hair dye, huh?"