Motion Sickness

We both stood outside my door in silence. I was getting doubts on whether or not I should go through with this or not. Maybe it wasnt such a good idea to come back up to my room. Whats Ape gonna say?

"This is it.." Frank pressed, obviously not understanding why I wouldn't just open the door already.

I looked over at him, then back at the door. "Yea..."

I finally just decided to go for it. All or nothing, right?

I readjusted my beanie and Ape's tanktop, then slid the card through the lock.

After opening the door, I realized the light was on. "Oh shit.." I mumbled under my breath.

"Taylor where were you? I thought-" She stopped midsentence, as Frank shut the door quietly. Then she glared at him, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Then she looked at me, then she was obviously confused, "Taylor..."

I sighed, pulled off my hat and wound it through my hands, "Ape..I..it's...hard to explain."

She gave me a sideways look, still in her pj pants and a tshirt. Then she looked back at Frank, then once again at me.

She grabbed my arm and drug me to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it quickly. "What the fuck is going on. I'm awake, right?"

I sighed, scratching my head. How was I going to explain this to her without her assuming that I like, love him or something. "Me and Frank aren't fighting anymore."

"Oh that explains EVERYTHING!"

I groaned, "Look. I put your number in Mikey's phone as a joke when we met them at that gas station. Frank found it and called me and apologized."

She just stared, obviously still not understanding.

"Anndd... I forgave him...and we're going back to Jersey tomorrow.." I closed my eyes. Waiting for her reaction.

She gasped, "WHAT?!"

Shoving me aside, she threw the door open and saw Frank, who had obviously been listening in on our conversation. As soon as he was included, she said it again. "WHAT?!"

I put my hands over my face as she turned and looked at me, then back at him. "What are you on!"

"Ape Face! Can you just go with it? I really dont' want to talk about it.." I whined, wringing my hat around in my hands.

She turned to Frank and started yelling at him, "What did you do to her?! Did you drug her or something?! She never forgives people! What did you DO?!"

"Aaappee," I groaned with another sigh.

But that stupid fuck. He just smirked and said, "This," and grabbed my face and fucking kissed me again.

I shoved him away and crossed my arms in front of my face, in the kindest way possible and mumbled something along the lines of, "Eehhhhh." It was the closest thing I could think of that wasnt agreeing or denying. .

Ape gasped, and Frank just stared at me with a smile. Then a huge smile came across Ape's face. "Taylor loves Frank."

I moved my arms, locking my elbows at my sides. "I do not love-"

"Taylor loves Frank! Taylor loves Frank!" she sang as he started laughing.

I felt my face get hot. "I dont love Frank!"

She just ignored me though. Jumping up on the bed and jumping around. "Taylor Calvin loves Frank-....."

"Iero."

"Iero! Taylor Calvin loves Frank Iero!" she repeated, jumping up and down on the bed.

"I DO NOT!"

She bent down in my face, "Taylor Iero! Isnt that so cute?!"

I couldn't take it anymore. "APRIL STOP IT!"

She stopped jumping, and Frank stopped laughing.

She stared at me in shock as she jumped down off the bed, "Damn Taylor, it was just a joke.."

My hands were clenched into fists. "Yea well its not fucking funny!" I yelled back. The little voice in my head was saying Calm down T. You're freaking out. Calm down.

I couldnt though. I had never been so frustrated. "I d-dont know what the fuck is going on. Or whats happening!" I yelled pitifully, my voice cracking. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

"But I do know," I added, pointing to Frank, who was looking at me, totally freaked out by MY freakout, "that I dont fucking love you. But that I'm fucking going to New Jersey with you. And I don't know why. But I am."

They both stared at me, and I just stared at Frank. Hoping that he knew exactly what this was doing to me. That he knew how fucked up everything went in my head when he kissed me the first time. That he knew how frustrated I was at what I didn't know, and how much it was stressing me out.

"I don't love you," I said softly.

He nodded, "I know."

"I don't love you."

"I know."

"I don't love you."

"I know, Taylor. It's ok." His face was honest. He seemed so calm. It just made me worse.

Ape just stared at us. Not knowing what to do. Finally she said, "Lets...go to New Jersey then!" Obviously trying to forget the last few statements.

I quickly wove into the bathroom, grabbed the few things I had out, and threw them in my bag. After that, I pulled on my beanie, grabbed my jacket and pulled the hood up. It made me feel better for some reason. Like people couldnt see me.

Then I left the room, going out to the hallway, and sliding down the wall. Laying my head on my knees, and hiding in my arms.