Motion Sickness

Drumming my fingers on the steering wheel quietly, I glanced over at Ape who was asleep in the passengers seat. I was insanely bored, because I stupidly left my cd case in a bag in the backseat, and there was nothing on the radio.

I ran through the stations again and sighed. If I was a DJ? I'd be embarrassed. It was almost to the point of pulling over and getting the cd case, but thatd just wake Ape up too.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "Ape.." I whispered. "Ape, wake your ass up..."

She didn't do anything. She just laid there, her head leaning against the window lazily. Then I got an idea.

I smiled to myself. Should I do it? Meh, I'm sure worse will happen to me on this journey.

Looking down at the four buttons on my door, I rolled the passenger window down.

I was going probably 70 (we decided last night that I wanted to live near the ocean or in Canada, and that for the first 400 miles we were gonna stay on interstate 95) and the window went down with a roar.

She freaked OUT!

"Shit!" she jumped as I almost peed myself. "Dammit Taylor!"

"I warned you," I replied, as she rolled it back up. "I said, quote, 'Ape, wake your ass up'. And did you do it? Noooo."

"What the hell do you want then?!" she said slightly frustrated. I don't blame her. If it would've been me? I would've already shanked myself by now..if that makes sense.

"Can you please get me my cd case out of my black bag? Radios shit out here," I said politley. She rolled her eyes, but I swear I saw her smile. I know she loves me.

Groaning, she reached back to the backseat, "Where are we?"

"Uh..theres an exit for Dillon up here."

She plopped back in the seat and stared at me. "Dillon? Like, Dillon South Carolina?"

"Mmhm. Where the hells my cd case?"

"Which bag."

"The black one!"

"Which black one!"

I smirked. "Oh right. The smallest one."

I looked out the window. The scenerys so beautiful in South Carolina...not.

"I can't believe we're not out of this state yet," Ape mumbled as she plopped back into her seat with my cd case. "Which one?"

"Dude I know. I can't take this place. I'm starting to doubt whether there is civilization past it. Green Day, yea?"

She laughed, "Trust me, there is. Warning sounds pretty sweet to me." She pulled out the cd and stuck it in my old car. It seriously is old. Mom wasnt kidding. I bought it used, when I was a freshman..

Warning started playing. But I was still bored. I knew every word to every song on this album. And since Ape was awake...

"Quiz me," I said excitedly, sitting up straighter.

"Ugh! Now? I thought all you needed was a cd?" she argued sleepily.

"Please Apey?"

She just sighed. She knew she liked the game. "Fine! Um.. Beethoven."

"Friends applaud, the comedy is finished," I said triumphantly. She tried to get sneaky on me with composers. Bahaha, shame on her.

"Nice. How about..John Adams?"

"Thomas Jefferson still survives..., which is ironic because that was on July 4th, 1826 and Jefferson died earlier that day." That was one of my favourite last words.

"Whoa, really? That would suck," she said with a thoughtful look. "That's almost depressing."

"I know right? Like, he wasted his last breath on something that wasnt even true. Two more. I like the next song."

"Hm..ok ok. I've got one. Malcom X."

"Cool it my brothers..., to his assassins. The same three men that shot him sixteen times," I replied quickly. I'm a last words genius. You can't trick me.

"Damn how do you know all that?!"

I smiled as Blood, Sex, and Booze came on. "It comes with learning their last words. You learn how they died too."

Sitting in a room, all dressed up and bound and gagged to a chair...its so unfair.

"I won't dare to move, for the pain she puts me through is what I need..so make it bleed," I chimed in.

Then Ape shut her eyes, and sang dramaticly, "I'm in distress! Oh mistress I confess so do it one more time!"

"These handcuffs are too tight!" we both sang and I laughed. "You know I will obey! So please dont make me beg. For blood sex and booze you give me!"

It was pretty much like that all the way to Vander, North Carolina, which is about two hours away from Manning (where I live..well..used to live). We were kind of hungry since we hadnt eaten yet, so we stopped at McDonalds to find something halfway decent.

We were behind a car or two in the drive-thru and I glanced over at Ape. "What would you like from McInedible?"

"What?!"

I looked at her like she was stupid. I always say stupid shit like that. "McInedible.."

"Oh! I thought you said 'McIncredible' and I was gonna be like what the hell?" she said as she started laughing.

The line moved and I smiled. That was pretty funny. "You're McIncredible," I said as a seductive joke.

"You're McBeautiful."

I smirked. I like this game. "You're McTaste-able."

"You're McRape-able!"

"You're McFuck-able!"

We both started laughing as someone behind us honked and I realized we were suppose to pull up to the speakerbox thingy.

"Welcome to McDonalds can I take your order?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I tried to restrain from laughing as I ordered too. This is terrible.

"Heres your McFucked food," I smirked, handing it to her.

She unwrapped her griddle thingy. "Hey, I like my food McFucked thank you very much. And yours is just as McFucked as mine."

It was pretty hilarious all the way through Carolina. We ended up just starting random words with 'Mc'. Or just saying 'Mc' in front of every cuss word.

"Change the damn McSong!"

"You change the damn McSong! I'm fucking driving!"

"Stay on your McFucking side of the road!"

"I am on my McFucking side of the road McDammit!"

After a while it was causing unneccesary yelling though, so we called truce. Even though we were practically dying from laughter.

A couple hours later we started seeing signs for towns and cities in Virginia. When we got to Roanoke Rapids, it said that Richmond was 86 more miles.

Ape gasped and got her camera out. "This is it! Taylors about to lose her Carolina virginity!"

"Hell yea," I muttered with a smirked. I know it sounded wrong, but thats pretty much what it was.

Soon enough, the sign appeared. Leaving North Carolina. Please come again!

Ape snapped a quick picture as I mumbled a, "Hell no.." under my breath.

And seconds later, a new sign appeared.

Welcome to Virginia!

Ape gasped. "I just realized something!" she said while taking a picture. Then turned and looked at me. "You just lost your Carolina virginity..to Virginia! What better state?!"

I laughed. That is pretty ironic. It had never felt so good to be out of Carolina before. Because I never had been.