Motion Sickness

He felt bad.

Really bad.

"I am so, so sorry Taylor. I totally forgot that you told me you couldn't swim."

"Oh yea, I only said 'I can't swim.' God forbid that means I can't fucking swim," I replied, dripping in sarcasm. Yet literally dripping in water.

We walked passed the church we had walked by earlier. Frank, in his drenched jeans, had pulled off his shirt. And me, in my also soaked jeans and Smashing Pumpkins shirt. This is one of those occasions that I hate being a chick. Although it wouldn't be anything he hadnt seen before if I did decided to pull off my shirt.

Fucker.

But anyway.

I tried to walk smoothly, as to not let my cold shirt touch my stomach or back. You know that never works though. Causing me to tense up slightly with every step. My fake black hair plastered against my face.

Frank sighed, "Do you want me to carry you home? Cause I will. I'm really sorry."

"Psht! My luck you'd run into some burning building or something! Oh by the way. While we're talking about things that dont mix with me. Fire isnt exactly my friend either. Neither is any sort of corrosive or radioactive material."

He rolled his eyes, "Ok, I do feel bad about jumping in the pool and stuff. But lets be realistic. A good majority of the population can atleast make their way a few feet to the side of a pool. It's not like I threw you in the middle of the Pacific or anything."

"How about we talk about something else?" Bob interrupted. Obviously getting bored with mine and Franks discussion.

I rolled my eyes, "Well seeing as you're just loaded with conversation starters, go right a-fucking-head!"

He threw me an annoyed, offended look. "How about we start with why the fuck are you back?"

I shot him a look, "Cause I do what I want! Got a problem with it?!"

"Maybe I do!"

"Guys, guys. Calm down," Frank intervened. "Taylor, calm your shit. Bob, we really dont wanna talk about it. Especially right now. I'll probably explain everything later, but right now, Gerards the only one that knows. And thats just because shes staying at his house."

Bob didnt break his hateful gaze from me, as did mine from him. "Fine," was all he said. Then he looked at Frank, "Just one thing though, are you two together?"

"No," I said quickly.

"No," was his reply, a few seconds after mine. I swear I saw him smile.

"So, do you guys care if I call and invite some friends?"

I passed Gerard drinks as he kindly stocked the fridge for tonights little sit around and drink and do stupid shit adventure.

I shrugged and handed him two more Bacardi's as he stacked them sideways in the crisper, "Your place. Your booze, invite whoever you want."

"Well, its just a couple guys. My friends Adam and Jesse. They're from long island, but we play shows with Jesse's band sometimes. And he and Adam are like, best friends. So naturally they're both pretty good friends of ours. They're pretty cool guys too. So if you dont care, I'd invite them to come hang out."

I passed him the Heineken by the case as he put it on the bottom shelf. "Sure dude. No big deal."

"Princess!" I heard from the living room.

I rolled my eyes and Gerard laughed. "Why does he call you that?"

"I have no fucking idea," I said loudly, so as Frank could heard. "What do you want?!" I asked, walking into the living room. He was sitting on the floor with Mikey and Ape, while Ali, Ray, and Bob all sat and watched on the couch.

He held a controller up for a Nintendo 64. "Wanna play?"

Ape swung her head toward me and tucked her hair behind her ear, "We're playing Rugrats in Paris. I demanded he leave Phil, just for you."

I smiled and grabbed the controller, sitting next to him and focusing my attention onto the screen. "You better. Phil is my home skillet."

Frank was Tommy, Ape was Kimi, and Mikey was Chuckie. I laughed at Mikey's. "Oh man Mikey. You and Chuckie look so much alike."

He smiled as Frank and Gerard started laughing hysterically. "I TOLD YOU!" Frank exclaimed, hitting Mikey with a pillow.

Frank got first pick on which mini game we played. We waited for the buzzer to signal us to start our ferocious game of bumper cars. As soon as the countdown got to one we were all visciously button smashing trying to get away.

Frank smashed into me and pinned me against the wall. I frowned, and decided to try to distract him. "Hey Ape, have I told you yet what Frank did to me today?"

"No..whatd he do?" she asked, still focusing her concentration on the game. Frank was sitting between me and her, so he was in the middle of the conversation.

"Well, I was on his back, and he jumped in Bob's pool."

I watched as her car slowed a little and Mikey and Frank both ran into her. "You mean like, a pool full of water?"

"Yup," I said matter of factly.

In like, a matter of seconds, she paused the game and smacked Frank across the face. "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"What the fuck?!" he replied, staring at her. "I said I was sorry!"

"She could've died! She absolutely hates water! She's been deathly scared of water since she was born!"

Whoa whoa whoa. I didn't want her to tell him that...

He slowly turned and looked at me. "What?!"

"Um.." Shit shit shit shit.

"Are you scared of water?" he asked flatly, obviously pissed.

"Uh......yea-"

"Yea she is! What the fuck were you thinking throwing her in a pool like that!"

"Ape Ape I've got this.." I interrupted her.

She stopped talking, still looking at Frank angrily.

Frank glared at me, frustration obvious. "Yea, shes got this." He grabbed my arm and pulled me up with him, dragging me outside the apartment into the hallway. I stumbled along, feeling like a little kid that wandered away from their parents at a Walmart or something.

"Get off me," I mumbled, shaking his arm off as he shut the door.

"Taylor! Why didnt you tell me you were scared of water?!" he hissed.

"I told you I couldnt swim! Obviously that means I'm scared of water!" I defended.

He rolled his eyes, "No, Taylor. That means you cant swim. Theres plenty of people in the world that cant swim but dont mind water. You couldn't swim, so I dove back in and got you. If I would've known you were scared of water I wouldn't of done it in the first place! Do you have any idea how shitty I feel right now?!"

I scoffed, "I'm sorry but I do believe I told you I couldnt swim before you jumped into that pool with me! So its ok to throw me in a pool if I cant swim, but god forbid you do it if I'm scared of water, right?!"

He paced back and forth through the hallway a little. Then he stopped, and looked at me in realization. "Wait a minute. I jumped in the pool cause you wouldnt get off my back! I gave you plenty of time to get off! If you're so fucking scared of water, why didnt you get down?!"

My mouth formed the words, but nothing came out. "I..I..I didnt want.."

He scoffed, and crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh I get it. You didn't want to admit you were scared of water, did you? You're too fucking proud of yourself to admit that you're scared of something!"

I closed my mouth and glared at him. Denying all, no matter how true it is. "No."

"Yes!" he said angrily. "You didn't want to look like you had weakness because you're so fucking stubborn, so you didnt cave and get down, and you didnt tell me you were so fucking scared of water. So I jumped in, thinking it wasnt a big deal!"

I didnt say anything, just looked at the floor trying to think of something. Anything but admitting defeat.

"So then you couldnt swim. That was kind of frightening yea, but I went in and got you! Sure I felt like shit, but no big deal. You were ok! Thats what mattered! Just another stupid joke. But no! Here I am getting fucking bitch slapped by your best friend because you being stuck in the middle of a pool was probably a huge deal for you!"

"Shut up!" He was gaining points on me, and fast. And I needed him to stop. "Just shut up already!"

He just stared at me, obviously thinking extremely hard. I took it as my chance to get my two cents worth in.

"Just shut up! Ok, yes, I am really fucking scared of water. Yes, I don't like telling people, because I think it makes me look like a baby. Now you know. Happy?!"

"No Taylor I'm not fucking happy! I like you way more than I should and its making me feel like shit!" he hissed quietly, probably as to not let anyone inside Gerard's apartment hear.

I growled in anger, and took at step toward him, shoving him into wall, letting my voice rise, "You know what Iero? Thats why I don't do that shit. Cause love is bullshit. I told you the first day I met you what I thought of it and two days later you told me you loved me. Biggest mistake of your fucking life, eh?!"

Hatred burned in his eyes as he shoved me back, pinning my shoulders against the wall painfully. "Oh yea. Definately. Letting myself fall for the chick that is so confident shes indestructible. That has amazing taste in music and style, and even made me feel better when my own best friends made me feel worthless. Thats so fucking gorgeous I cant help but wish she was mine. The same girl that kissed me back that day I admitted to her that I loved her." He stopped for a second, probably overwhelmed with everything he was saying. On the inside my mind was freaking out. But on the outside, I was able to hold my glare. "Definately, the biggest mistake of my life."

We didnt say anything. He held me against the wall, bouncing back and forth between my eyes, waiting on my response.

"Sounds like a personal problem to me," I hissed back, holding my ground.

His face softened, as did his grip on my shoulders. He shoved me aside and threw open the door, causing six curious bystanders to stumble backward clumsily. "Frank?" Gerard asked as he walked briskly to the table to grab his keys.

He turned around and quickly walked back, headed for the stairs. "You're impossible, Princess," he muttered under his breath as he breezed back by.

I leaned against the wall, listening as each step of his shoes on the metal stairs slowly got quieter. Wondering if I had just made a big mistake.

I looked over at Ape, who was now standing in the hallway with the rest of the group. She looked back, obviously reading my mind, since I seemed to have no control over it.

Then she lunged forward, shoving my keys at my chest and almost throwing me down the stairs. "Wha..what?"

"Go you dumbass! Before you lose him.."

In my daydreams, in my sleep
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me,
see all you have to do now is please try.
Why can't you just love me back?