Motion Sickness

After all the drama that had been happening between me, Ape, and Frank, I wanted some time away from it.

And I think Gerard could tell.

"Yea there was this one time, when we were little, he had this crush on this girl. He was like, aboslutely crazy about her, he was probably in..seventh grade? I told her and she asked him out. They dated for like, a year."

Gerard had been talking to me about he and Mikey's childhood for a while now. It was great. Finally, something that didn't have to do with me or Frank. And most of the time they were really entertaining!

I laughed, "Look at you be all matchmaker and whatnot."

He smiled, "Nah, I was actually trying to be a douche. But she ended up liking him too, so it just looked like I was being nice." He shrugged, "He was pissed to begin with, but then he was happy."

I laughed. It felt good. I hadn't talked or laughed out loud so much. It was just me and Gerard. Besides, "I recall doing something just like that to Ape in high school."

"No way! What happened?!" He took an exit toward Newark and stopped at a red light.

"Well, actually it was the other way around. One of my guy friends liked her and I kept giving him shit because I would always hang out with them both, and only I knew that he liked her. And it was so obvious. He just seemed really friendly though, so she never caught on," I explained on my story. It replayed in my head like it wasnt that long ago. "Finally I was just a bitch and told her, while he was standing right there. She was soooo mad at me."

"She was? Why was she mad?"

"Because he was so embarassed. His face turned so red, and Ape's just a nice person like that. She always has been. They ended up having a thing for a while, but I think she did it out of pity for him. Then they weren't together anymore and it was awkward hanging out." Yup. Still miss that kid.

"Wow, that sucks. I hadn't ever met Mikey's before. Just kinda asked around and went up and told her."

I nodded, "Oh hey, did you guys have a senior prank?"

He pulled into the mall parking lot, a sneaky smile coming across his face. "Hell yea. Frank helped set it up actually. I didn't have anything to do with it. I mean, I was in on it, but that wasnt my thing... You don't care I talk about Frank do you?"

"As long as it has nothing to do with me? Go for it. I thought Frank went to a different high school than you guys?" I asked, trying to keep the convo going.

He smiled again, "Yea. He did. And he helped set up our senior prank. Thats how crazy he was. Hell thats how crazy he is."

"What'd he do?" I pressed, kind of getting excited.

"Well, Frank used to be neighbors with this..chicken..breeder..guy.."

"Oh god.."

He laughed, obviously remembering the day. "Well, he bought like, twenty chickens from him. He didn't have them all, so he had to have him order some of them from somewhere else. But it was like, all these chickens and one rooster. And the rooster was fucking mean.

"He let them out in the school the night before. He and a few other guys. He invited me to go, but I was a baby and wouldn't do it. By the next morning there were chickens running around everywhere, and there was shit all over the floor."

I couldn't help but laugh. I could see Frank doing that. Even though it wasn't his school, it didn't surprise me at all.

"They caught most of the chickens, but that rooster was viscious," he started laughing again. "It took the principal, the AP, one of the janitors, and our biology teacher to catch it."

I could picture all those people chasing one stupid chicken. It made me smile.

"Not only that," he continued, "But once they caught it? Frank had put a collar around its neck, with a nametag that said 'Courtney'."

He parked and I had to laugh, "What?! Why?!!"

"I have no clue. I guess he thought it looked like a Courtney. Freaking hilarious though," he replied as we got out. "Man there's a lot of hilarious memories with him."

I smiled as we started toward the mall. "Yea? Like what?"

"Oh man. He went to this catholic school, ya know? And they had uniforms.. He used to always bitch that he was going to transfer to Mikey and I's someday. Ever since I met him in middle school. Actually.."

He stopped walking and pulled out his wallet. "I think I have a picture of him in here from back then."

I smiled, "You have a picture of Frank in your wallet.."

"I have a ton of pictures in my wallet. And its a really hilarious pic of him. Here."

He pulled out a little picture and handed it to me. It was a picture of Frank and Mikey, sitting on the ground in the shade. Mikey had an intentionally-stupid smile, and Frank was smoking. He had shaggy dark hair, was in a pair of khaki slacks, a white dress shirt and a tie with a fancy looking patch on his chest. Yet a cigarette hung from his mouth, and he was maybe fourteen.

I had to laugh as we started walking again, just staring at the picture. "Thats really ironic."

"Isn't it? And he was constantly getting yelled at about his hair. It wasn't allowed to be past his eyebrows. My mom ended up trimming it for him alot, cause he'd get sent home and his parents wouldn't be home until late."

"Nice," I commented, still looking at the picture. Frank looked so cool and relaxed, yet so weird in a dress shirt and tie. You could almost see how trapped he was in his environment. I almost didn't blame him for taking up smoking. Something to keep him from feeling like he belonged in a private, catholic school.

We walked through the doors and I pretty much tagged along with him. He seemed to know where he wanted to go. "So what about you and April? How long have you two been friends?"

I smiled, "Grade school. First grade I think? She was the new girl. Mrs. Becky's class. I was always mean to the other kids. Well, more just selfish. Everything was mine and if they wanted anything to do with it they had to ask. And when they asked I said no, just for the fuck of it." I laughed and shook my head, "She taught me sharing."

We were going through the food court, toward the end of the mall. "Thats pretty bad," he said with a smirk.

"Yea. Then as we got older she taught me all of the other lifes important lessons. You know; how boys dont have cooties, how to handle periods at school, how people aren't always going to do what you want them to do..morals and values wise. She's a great friend." Even though here lately I was taking that back a little.

I couldn't get myself to say the last part outloud. It seemed like everytime I was pissed at Ape about something, I was always regretting it in the end. As if I was going to admit that now. This was totally different, of course.

"So what about you and Frank?" Wanting to change the subject. Frank's childhood was a fun subject anyway.

"Middle school. Sixth grade maybe? It was at a football game that I first met him. Me and Mikey used to go, just to get out of the house and be around people we knew. We would hang out behind the bleachers with some of my friends. It was a game against St. Mary's, that was Franks school, and he came back there with us. I couldn't believe it because Belleville and St. Mary's were HUGE rival schools, and here he is just waltzing back here. Turned out he knew one of the guys though, thats how he knew we were back there in the first place. We talked for a bit, saw him a few more times at football games, then we were just good friends."

He shrugged, leading me into a media store. It was filled with old cd's, vinyls, posters, and artwork. It was really interesting.

"Can I see the rest of your pictures in your wallet?" For some reason the posters reminded me of them.

"Yea yea sure." He pulled out his wallet and faught with a little pocket, pulling out a surprisingly thick stack of small pictures.

The one on top was the one he had shown me before, with Frank, in his uniform, and Mikey by the tree. I looked at the next one, and it was a picture of Mikey and some girl with long brown hair. He looked like he was probably in high school.

"Who's this?" I asked, holding the picture out to him.

He stopped flipping through cd's and glanced at the picture. "Oh that was one of Mikey's girlfriends in high school, Maggie."

I laughed, "You have pictures of your brother and his girlfriend in here.."

He shrugged, "Theres a ton of Frank and his various girlfriends in there. He gets pissed, but hey, some of them are good pictures! If you take out the chick."

The next one, believe it or not, was Frank and some long red headed chick. They were sitting on a bench, he in his khakis, dress shirt and tie, her in her blue and red checkered skirt, and long socks. He had his arms around her stomach as she kissed him on the cheek.

Gerard peered over at the picture. "Lindsay. Freshman year."

The next one was he and a tiny girl, probably Ape's size, but with shorter, pixy cut black hair. It was night time, so they weren't in school uniforms. He had on a typical Frank outfit: Descendants shirt, black jeans, and chucks that I swore I saw him wearing yesterday. And she looked like a typical girlfriend of Franks: Smashing Pumpkins shirt, snug jeans and canvas vans.

I took that back when I realized I had the same shirt.

They were walking on a sidewalk, her eyes were closed and she was smiling as he kissed her forehead. Looked like a sweet moment.

Once again, Gerard glanced at the picture, "Morgan, Senior year."

The next one made me gasp, and I almost dropped it. I held my breath as I stared at the two people in the picture.

It was me and him, at the hotel in Philadelphia. We had been argueing over who was taller, and Ape had taken a picture of us to prove we were the same. It was the one I had moved in though, to make sure he wasnt cheating.

Our backs were to eachother, but I was leaning down, with my head towards him, looking at his feet. A small smile was on my face, and she had caught me with my eyes closed. I hadn't realized he had turned too. Because he too, had his back to me, but had his face toward me, and was also smiling.

It looked so proffessional. And so...sweet. You couldn't pay a photographer to pose such a great picture. No matter how much I hated it, the happiness...the closeness, I had to admit, it was an amazing picture.

"Sorry," Gerard muttered. "I just think its a good picture. She printed off a few and got a wallet sized one for me."

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't describe what I was feeling. I was so mad that me and Frank couldn't have days like this anymore. Where me and him could just fuck around and bitch about who's taller. All because I didn't want to date him.

But I was miserable, because it made me miss him unbelieveably. So much I wanted to jump into the picture and chase him through the hallways of the hotel again. Or make him give me a piggy back ride up to Gerard's room. Anything but never speak to him again.

I figured changing the picture would be a good idea, but the next was one of he and another girl, and I just gave the pictures back. I may not love him, but seeing him happy with so many other chicks just makes me feel more guilty.

I handed them back and faked a small smile, and got myself to say the only word I could build. "Cute."