Motion Sickness

"Hey, we were planning on getting changed and going to the beach, you guys wanna come?"

I rolled my eyes, and without glancing at her, "I swear to god Ape, you will die someday and I won't care."

"That's not true," she said with a smile, nudging me.

"Thats why I said it.."

Clark and Ryan looked at us with confused faces. Then Ryan spoke up, "Yea yea sure. Uh, yea."

I smiled. Atleast he's uncomfortable.

"I'm going first. I still haven't peed and I need to," I spoke up. She got out and I found my way to the bathroom.

The bathroom was one of those one person ones. Ok well, most of the time people dont pee two at a time, but there wasnt seperate stalls and stuff, you know? And it was totally sick. I flipped the light on a saw a spider go down the drain in the sink. And somebody had seriously been neglecting the toilet.

"I can't pee in these conditions," I muttered to myself, pulling out my stuff and draping the bag over my shoulder, refusing to let it touch the ground.

"Thomas Jefferson?"

"No. I'm not telling you anymore."

"Abraham Lincoln?"

"I fucking told you.."

"Martin Luther King?"

I glared at him, "Clark. If you ask me one more time? I swear to god I will stuff you in a blender, and push 'pulse' until you turn into a giant pile of fatty mush. And then, I will dump you in this ocean, and feed you to the jelly fish. And thats a bad day for everybody, cause I'm sure you'd give them some sort of disease."

He just stared at me in shock.

I smirked, "I'll give you a minute to let all those insults process."

"Damn. I don't think I've ever been burned so bad.."

"Good now you have something to remember me by."

He smiled. His teeth are really white. We were sitting on a towel on the beach. Ryan and Ape were flirting and goofing around in the ocean, while Clark refused to leave me in peace and hang out with them.

I was staring off at them. I was in a pair of black trunks, and had on a black and white checkered bikini top (hey, I just realized, they match my pj pants. I'm such a checker whore). I was sitting on the towel, with my legs crossed indian style or whatever the hell its called, my hands in my lap, slouching lazily. Beaches bore me, but the sun was nice.

And Clark. I swear to god he's been staring at me the whole time. Why does he seem to want to bask in my presence? Normally guys are like 'fuck you' and leave me alone by now. Which I love. I hate guys. Because they only reason they talk to me is because they want me to need them. There were only a few guys that I spent time with, and that was back in Manning during high school. And they were friends.

"You have..the most..different personality," I heard Clark say.

I sighed and looked over at him. He likes me..doesnt he..

He smiled. "It's interesting. I like it."

What do you say? It'd be extremely bitchish to insult him about it. I'll just change the subject.

"I'm looking for a place to live. I wanted to get out of Carolina," I replied, looking back out at the ocean. Ape and Ryan were lying in the sand now, letting the waves barely touch their feet. "I don't think Virginia has what I'm looking for though."

I looked back over at him. He tilted his head, "What exactly are you looking for?"

I thought about it. "Well..I want a place..thats nice, but has its share of bad things, you know? Not like, Virginia bad things, more prominent than that. But not New York City either, thats almost unsafe," he smiled at that, but I went on. "I want a place thats..that it takes brains to live in. Some place that I can say I live in and be proud of it. A place that..has more people like me in it. That can handle me." That one made me smile. "A place that I can put up with, and can put up with me."

"You sound like a Jersey girl."

I thought about it for a second. I always thought of New Jersey to be..a posh place. One of those states that little girls wanted to live in when they were younger, because the main character from their favourite show lived there. "Really?"

"Oh yea. I've got a couple friends that live there. They live in Lodi. You should check it out. But Virginia has its share of ghetto places too you know.."

I laughed, "I'm not necessarily looking for 'ghetto'. I just want..hm..unfit. Off centered. A place thats a little different than the regular two story house with white shudders and a picket fence in the front yard. A dog in the back, you know? I don't like that. I want some place unpredictable."

"And you think Virginia is predictable?"

I glanced over at him, "Totally."

He pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his shaggy blondeish brownish hair, then put it back on loosely, so that it was tilted up. Agh, I hate it when people do that. They look retarded.

"I really like you Taylor. It'd be really cool if I could talk to you again..you know, figure out what place suits your warped fairytale description...?"

I smiled, "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to tell you now. I don't do love. And no offense, but I'm planning on leaving tomorrow, and probably never seeing you again."

He smirked, "No offense..that makes me laugh. But how do you not do love?"

I looked back out at Ape and Ryan. "See those two out there? They're flirting. And they probably have some sort of sparked feelings for eachother, its only obvious." And it was. She was leaning on his shoulder, watching the ocean, and he had his hand around her waist as they sat in the sand.

Then I looked back over at him, "She's going to be thinking about him for the next two days. And she probably won't see him again. And she's going to be sad. Love is like heroin. It makes you happy, but once you come out of it, you're fucked. I don't do love. I don't do heroin, because a high never lasts forever."

He tilted his head again, "What about people that get married and stay happy their entire life?"

"For one. Marriage is for people that want to stay high their whole life. And secondly, they're rarely happy the entire time. Everyone has fights. But then they hug and kiss and fuck and make up, and they're in love again."

He thought about it for a second, "Thats a pretty fucked up form of love."

"No, that is love. People just like to make it out as something else. Thats not me. I don't do that shit. It's ridiculous."

We didn't say anything for awhile. Both of us just stared out at Ape and Ryan. I hope hes thinking of them in a different perspective now. I had told Ape all of this before, and she didn't agree with me, even though the theory made perfect sense.

"What would it take to make you change your mind? You know..your belief? What you think of love?"

I had never thought of that. Ever since I started believing that love was nothing but a drug, I decided that nobody could change that. "You'd have to be pretty fucking amazing."

He smiled, "Is that in your fairytale too?"

"No," I replied. "Nobody out there is that amazing."