Status: Random thoughts really.
Don't Jump
Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?
The screen door gave a metallic slam behind Gerard as he jumped down the front porch steps and jogged off down the sidewalk, leaving the echoing yells from the house behind him. Fuck them. Fuck them for not caring about him. The only one in that house who even cared about him was Mikey. He wasn’t even sure if Mikey even cared that much, to be honest. Gerard didn’t know what to believe anymore. For all he knew he couldn’t trust anyone anymore.
“Everyone always fucking lies,” he grumbled, beating his fist into the side of a mailbox as he continued off down the sidewalk. This was fucking ridiculous, here their oldest son was, having a fucking mental breakdown, and his parents couldn’t even take two seconds to acknowledge it. He kicked a trash can, sending it flying into the street with a loud clang.
“Hey!” an elderly man poked his head out of the door of the house Gerard was in front of and glared at him. “Pick that up! Who do you think you are defacing someone’s property?” Gerard flipped him off before carrying on down the street and ignoring the irritated shouts of the old man. It wasn’t defacing someone’s property to knock over a goddamn trash can. Defacing meant graffiti and setting shit on fire, not knocking over a fucking trash bin. He ran a hand through his long black hair and shook his head. Stupid old people.
Gerard turned down the next street and headed towards downtown. This was stupid. No wait, everything was stupid. School was stupid. His parents were stupid. Fuck, even Mikey was stupid. No one fucking cared about Gerard. No one noticed if he was crying or if he was sick or if he was sad. Nothing. No one gave a fuck about poor, little Gerard.
He swung down the next street, his pace picking up as the road sloped downward toward the bridge that crossed over the river. The more Gerard thought about everything, the more he realized that things weren’t going to get better. Only worse. His family was never going to give a fuck. His teachers were never going to give a fuck. No one was. Ever.
Gerard kicked a rock in the middle of the path and sent it skidding across the pavement. He watched the material of the ground change to metal as he arrived at the bridge and he continued walking. This would be it. He’d just jump, not like anyone would care right? As he neared the center of the bridge, he heard what sounded faintly like sniffling.
He stopped and looked up from his feet, his eyes falling to a boy with a black and white Mohawk sitting on the railing a few feet ahead of him. The boy looked up, noticing Gerard as well and Gerard could see he had been crying. The boy looked to be about Gerard’s age, but smaller. Gerard watched as he moved to brush his cheeks of tears.
“Why are you crying?” Gerard asked quietly, but he knew the boy could hear him. He walked closer and pulled himself up onto the railing next to him. The boy sniffed again and gave a small shrug.
“No one cares,” he muttered and Gerard felt himself nodding. He could relate.
“Well,” Gerard said slowly. “I care.” The boy looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t even know me though,” he breathed out and Gerard shrugged.
“So? I still care. I know what it’s like to not have people care about you. But just know I care, okay?” The boy nodded and gave Gerard a small smile.
“Thanks. I care, too. For you, ya know?” Gerard smiled and held out his hand to the boy.
“I’m Gerard, by the way.” The boy took his hand and shook it a little.
“Frank,” he said softly, giving another little smile that Gerard was quick to return.
“Gerard?” Gerard pulled out of his reverie turned around to see Frank standing at the door with his jacket in his hands and a small smile playing on his lips. Gerard couldn’t help but smile back at his boyfriend. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” he said, grabbing his own jacket off the back of the couch and walking over to Frank. Before Frank could turn to the door, Gerard caught his hand and pulled him to his chest, hugging him tight. Gerard kissed Frank gently and gave a soft smile. “I love you.”
Frank smiled widely and pressed a kiss back against Gerard’s lips.
“I love you, too. Now come on, we’re gonna be late.” He smiled, pulling away from Gerard, but wound their hands together and pulled them to the door.
It had been two years since the night Gerard had met Frank and they had decided not to jump. Two years and neither of them had to worry about no one caring about them, because they both cared enough for each other that it no longer mattered how others felt. All that mattered was them.
“Everyone always fucking lies,” he grumbled, beating his fist into the side of a mailbox as he continued off down the sidewalk. This was fucking ridiculous, here their oldest son was, having a fucking mental breakdown, and his parents couldn’t even take two seconds to acknowledge it. He kicked a trash can, sending it flying into the street with a loud clang.
“Hey!” an elderly man poked his head out of the door of the house Gerard was in front of and glared at him. “Pick that up! Who do you think you are defacing someone’s property?” Gerard flipped him off before carrying on down the street and ignoring the irritated shouts of the old man. It wasn’t defacing someone’s property to knock over a goddamn trash can. Defacing meant graffiti and setting shit on fire, not knocking over a fucking trash bin. He ran a hand through his long black hair and shook his head. Stupid old people.
Gerard turned down the next street and headed towards downtown. This was stupid. No wait, everything was stupid. School was stupid. His parents were stupid. Fuck, even Mikey was stupid. No one fucking cared about Gerard. No one noticed if he was crying or if he was sick or if he was sad. Nothing. No one gave a fuck about poor, little Gerard.
He swung down the next street, his pace picking up as the road sloped downward toward the bridge that crossed over the river. The more Gerard thought about everything, the more he realized that things weren’t going to get better. Only worse. His family was never going to give a fuck. His teachers were never going to give a fuck. No one was. Ever.
Gerard kicked a rock in the middle of the path and sent it skidding across the pavement. He watched the material of the ground change to metal as he arrived at the bridge and he continued walking. This would be it. He’d just jump, not like anyone would care right? As he neared the center of the bridge, he heard what sounded faintly like sniffling.
He stopped and looked up from his feet, his eyes falling to a boy with a black and white Mohawk sitting on the railing a few feet ahead of him. The boy looked up, noticing Gerard as well and Gerard could see he had been crying. The boy looked to be about Gerard’s age, but smaller. Gerard watched as he moved to brush his cheeks of tears.
“Why are you crying?” Gerard asked quietly, but he knew the boy could hear him. He walked closer and pulled himself up onto the railing next to him. The boy sniffed again and gave a small shrug.
“No one cares,” he muttered and Gerard felt himself nodding. He could relate.
“Well,” Gerard said slowly. “I care.” The boy looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t even know me though,” he breathed out and Gerard shrugged.
“So? I still care. I know what it’s like to not have people care about you. But just know I care, okay?” The boy nodded and gave Gerard a small smile.
“Thanks. I care, too. For you, ya know?” Gerard smiled and held out his hand to the boy.
“I’m Gerard, by the way.” The boy took his hand and shook it a little.
“Frank,” he said softly, giving another little smile that Gerard was quick to return.
“Gerard?” Gerard pulled out of his reverie turned around to see Frank standing at the door with his jacket in his hands and a small smile playing on his lips. Gerard couldn’t help but smile back at his boyfriend. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” he said, grabbing his own jacket off the back of the couch and walking over to Frank. Before Frank could turn to the door, Gerard caught his hand and pulled him to his chest, hugging him tight. Gerard kissed Frank gently and gave a soft smile. “I love you.”
Frank smiled widely and pressed a kiss back against Gerard’s lips.
“I love you, too. Now come on, we’re gonna be late.” He smiled, pulling away from Gerard, but wound their hands together and pulled them to the door.
It had been two years since the night Gerard had met Frank and they had decided not to jump. Two years and neither of them had to worry about no one caring about them, because they both cared enough for each other that it no longer mattered how others felt. All that mattered was them.