Counting the Stars

"Callista, I think we need to talk," That oh, so familiar accent spoke up.

I had been doing perfectly fine until he decided to make his appearance. The guys had promotional stuff to deal with all day, Eleanor was off visiting some friends she knew in town, and Caroline followed the guys around everywhere they went. I was taking the lack of people to my advantage, sitting on my laptop and scrolling through various social networking sites. I'm not entirely sure why he was even here.

"I don't think right now is a good time, Niall," I spoke calmly, trying my hardest to not lose my cool. My eyes remained on the blue screen of Tumblr as I reblogged a few pictures.

Niall sighed, "Then when is the right time? I've been trying so hard to come up and talk to you, but you never want to! Or Harry is clinging to your side. Or you're too busy! I don't want things to be like this between us."

I didn't look up at him, but kept my eyes on my laptop screen, "Then maybe you shouldn't have made things like this."

It was odd that I was able to keep my cool like I currently was. I wanted nothing more than to chuck my laptop at Niall's face in hopes that it would damage some of the perfection and to give Caroline a little tap tap into the Grand Canyon. To be quite frank, I didn't want to talk about it at all. Talking about it wouldn't change what was done and most likely wouldn't change anything that would happen. Talking about it would only make me angrier than I already was.

"Fine, I'm goin' to talk about it... Whether you want me to or not," Niall stated, a sense of pride in his voice. Proud of what? Who would know.

I waved my hand in the air, gesturing to him for continue. My eyes remained on my laptop screen.

"I fucked up... Big time. More than I can ever imagine. I got myself in too deep with Caroline way too fast, and now I'm stuck. Hell, I'll probably be stuck for quite some time. From the moment we met and you made a comment about food being your favorite thing, I knew we were going to be the best of friends. Then we started to talk and in that short amount of time you went from being a stranger on tour to being my best friend.

It was getting to the point where I was considering being GAY, I was growing so close with you. All I could think about was the fact that all of our fans were right and I had a romantic bromance going on with someone I hadn't even known for a month. Then Caroline came around, and if we're being honest here, I don't know how that relationship came about. I acted on instinct and it was probably the biggest mistake I've made in my life. It ruined every chance I ever had with you, but I didn't know that then. I asked her out because I didn't want to admit to myself that I had feelings for a dude.

I kissed you, basically cheated on Caroline, and then our friendship fell even more downhill. Fast forward a few days and all of a sudden you're blurting out that you're a girl and then running off to Los Angeles. I did what any other guy helplessly in love would do, and I followed you. I stayed with you in LA and made sure I brought you back. You'd be lying to yourself if you even try to say you didn't enjoy our time together.

To sum it up, I fucked up. I messed everything up and probably won't be able to fix it. You hate me and now you love Harry. But I deserve it. I deserve every ounce of hatred you have towards me. For all of that, I'm sorry."

When I finally looked up from my laptop screen, Niall was staring intently at me. His eyes weren't the same color blue they normally were. On any normal day, they were bright, playful, and hopeful. Niall's eyes were now glazed over with sadness. I wanted to break down and jump into his arms and tell him it was all okay. That I forgave him and would take him back. Not only was my cast preventing me from doing so, but the rational part of my mind was telling me not to.

I let out a soft sigh, "Where's Caroline?"

Niall shrugged, "She could be anywhere now. We got into a bit of a fight before I came running back here. I told her about what happened while we were in LA, and she immediately started calling you every name in the book. Apparently you were a slut for trying to steal me away from her. You stuck up for me, so I stuck up for you. Caroline doesn't like that very much, she slapped me, and walked off. Not entirely sure where we stand now, but I assume the "Niall Horan, you will regret the day you left me!" means we're over."

He smiled cheekily at me, trying to get me to laugh. It did.

"So, Caroline's gone? For good?" I asked hopefully.

He nodded, "You make it seem like she's some bad guy. But yeah, I don't see her coming around anytime soon."

Everything was happening to fast, and it was all happening just the way I wanted it to happen. Caroline was out of Niall's life, which opened up a spot for me in it. He apologized over and over again and was the one to approach me, trying to fix everything. The only thing that could possibly go wrong with this picture was Harry. Dear, sweet Harry who was there for me when Niall wasn't. The Harry who has been nothing but kind to me for the past week.

"You're making me want to run off into the sunset with you while we puke rainbows together," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It hadn't grown much, but the extensions kept it at a nice length.

"Then let's go, let's do just that. Granted, you can't really walk or run right now. But we can be happy," Niall replied, the sadness in his eyes being replaced with hope.

It hurt me to know I was going to have to chose between Niall and Harry. But in the end, it was Niall. It had always been Niall. Constantly, I would argue with myself that Harry was the better choice for me. That Harry would never hurt me and that he'd always be there for me whenever I needed it. Yet everything Harry did, I compared to Niall. Nothing was just what Harry did, it was what Harry did like Niall.

I shook my head, "It doesn't work like that, Niall. You don't get to tell me you broke up with Caroline and then expect me to come running back to you."

"But I want you," Niall practically pleaded.

"Then you're going to have to work for me," I stated, "I've already fallen for you once. Make me fall for you all over again."

---

Tonight was the first night I was allowed to play a show after breaking my foot. Harry had been watching me like a hawk, making sure that I didn't do anything that I wasn't supposed to do. We constantly got into arguments about whether or not I could do something, but somehow he always won in the end. Sound check was in about ten minutes, and everyone was beginning to get pumped up.

"You excited to play tonight?" Jon asked as he pushed my wheel chair towards the stage.

I nodded eagerly, making sure my excitement was apparent, "SO excited! Please make sure I'm always allowed to play the drums or I may die!"

Harry walked over and hip checked Jon, taking over his position of pushing my wheel chair, "If you hurt yourself again, I won't ever let you play until you're fully healed. I considered calling up the doctor and asking if you were really ready to go out there."

I turned around slightly in my chair, just enough so Harry could see me glaring at him. He laughed at my expression, but continued to push me down the hall.

"Do you want me to push you on stage and help you into your chair?" Harry asked once we arrived to where everyone else was waiting.

"Actually, I thought I could help her on stage tonight," Niall interrupted my conversation with Harry. To say Harry's face represented shock would be an understatement.

Harry's eyebrows were raised as he looked back and forth between Niall and I, "I wasn't aware that you guys were talking again."

"As of today we are," Niall stated proudly.

"Oh," Was all Harry had to say.

I sighed, "Guys, don't get into an argument right now... Over me, of all people or things. Sandy said he'd roll me onto the stage and help me get situated in my chair. Your tour manager doesn't want either of you on stage before you need to be, anyways."

They both mumbled a reply before walking off separate ways. Sandy came and stood in front of me, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Wipe that smug look off of your damn face!"

He shook his head, still smirking, "Callista's got some boyfriends! They have competition!!!"

I ignored Sandy's attempt to phase me and pulled out my phone, scrolling through Twitter to occupy me for the next few minutes. As soon as the stage manager was shouting for the backing band to go on, Sandy was rolling me up the ramp they had added to the stage design to get me to my drum set. Looking out into the audience, one girl held up a giant sign that said, "GET WELL SOON, CALLISTA!" on it with a heart. I made sure the girl was making eye contact with me before smiling brightly, holding up a heart with my hands.

The other guys in the backing band all looked at me, waiting for me to start the beat to the opening song. I nodded towards stage left and right before picking up the drumsticks and getting the beat started. Thankfully, a music director came in and rearranged the music to where there wasn't a whole bunch of kick drum, making it much easier to play. The kick pedal was moved over so I could hit it with my left foot, but I was definitely a few beats behind. Never before had I played without using my right foot, and it was beginning to stress me out.

After a very unsuccessful sound check on my part, Sandy was rolling me off of the stage. Sandy, Jon, and Dan all offered me encouraging smiles as they noticed the damper in my mood. I offered them a small smile back before rolling myself off to the green room. I waited another 20 minutes, which was about how long the guys stayed on stage to answer questions, before rolling myself back to the stage. No one was left in the arena, so I took this as another opportunity to practice. All of the fans with VIP were back doing their meet and greet, thankfully.

It took a little while to transfer myself from my wheel chair to the chair in front of my drum set, but I eventually accomplished it. Without hesitation, I picked up my drumsticks and began the opening beat. For the next half an hour, I reworked all of the songs to my liking, making sure I wouldn't have anymore mistakes when playing the show. My first show back was very important, and I wasn't going to let a broken foot stop me from being successful.

"You know the show doesn't start for another four hours, right?" Niall asked, walking out onto the stage.

I nodded, continuing to bang my drums, "I'm aware. I need to make sure that it's all perfect, though."

Niall grinned, "You already are perfect, love."