I Missed the Robins

"This is it," I whispered to myself, as I looked into the mirror that casted back the sorry reflection of a teenage loser that was myself.

"No more names, no more ridicule, no more misery, no more pain, this is it. This is the end of my teenage loserdom."

I repeated my mantra all the way to the bus stop. It was a cold morning, like every morning in the Minnesota December. I walked the ice-caked path which lead to the school bus ready to pull off without me. Normally I wouldn't run to cath the bus, normally I would allow it to pull off, seeing the situation as God's gift of relief for a day. But not today; this was my day. My big day to show everyone what it felt like to be me. As I quickened my pace I could feel the frost laced wind beat against my face, turning my cheeks redder and redder with each merciless hit. Out of breath I climbed up the steps of Hell's Wagon.

I took the closest empty seat towards the front. Nevertheless I could feel their stares at the back of my head, and imagined the things they said of me. But these mental bullets were the lest of my concern. My mind had drifted to my childhood and my only solice as a child in the form of cartoons. I was thinking back to an episode of Hey Arnold!, my favorite episode of any cartoon that I had witnessed as a child. The episode with Stoop Kid, where the other children kept chanting "Stoop Kid never leaves his Stoop!" over and over again mocking his evident social anxiety. A smile crept across my face as I remembered Stoop Kid's glorious first step off that stoop as well as his victorious beat down of that fat kid in the blue baseball cap. This was my stoop and today was my day to leap.

When the bus pulled up outside of the school I awaited for everyone to clear off. I ignored the names they called me as they past me as well as the frequent jab in the chest I received from the popular kids. I stepped off the bus and imagined a roaring crowd behind me, chanting my name, "Milo! Milo! Milo!"

Math, Science, Literature, and Art. I completed all these classes on auto-pilot. I didn't give a damn what lesson was to be learned or what homework was given. I was awaiting lunch. It was during lunch, when the hallways were most crowded that I would take my leap. The bell finally rung, signalling to a third of the school that it was their lunch time, me included. I grinned as I walked to my locker. I stood there for a moment. It wasn't long before my tormentors returned to me.

"Milo, you seem awfully chipper today. Did your whore of a mother lay off the dick last night or something?"

As the Ringleader and his group of cronies laughed at his joke, which I've heard a million times said in a thousand different ways, I looked down to the linoleum floor. I chuckled under my breath and touched my fingers to the pistol in my wasteband. I allowed my fingertips to dance over the smooth metal before I wrapped my hand around the handle. Before another thought could come across my mind, I felt my body gently slammed into the locker.

A girl with snowy hair and concrete eyes resting upon a steel pierced face had wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed me into the lockers.

"You don't want to do that," she whispered while studying my expression.

"Believe me, I do," I smiled and looked away, trying to break her gaze.

"Oh look, Donnie Darko's gotta playmate!"

I watched as she bit her lip and slid off of me turning to the group of testosterone.

"Oh yes, because I'm clearly Jake Gyllenhaul and he's clearly a six foot tall bunny rabbit. Now how about you go scower the internet for a more original insult and get back to me. In the meantime while your insults are still intellectually repressed, you can fuck off."

"God you're more of a freak than Milo. Let's go to lunch, before we catch something from these two."

As they walked away she mumbled something along the lines of "Yeah, I'm a freak because my IQ isn't that of a feild mouse."

She sighed and turned her attention back to me, "Come with me, please."

I scowled, this girl had interupted my plans, now I would have to wait another day for my redemption.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to come with me. Was I not clear the first time?"

"Go with you where?"

"Somewhere worthwhile," she replied.

"Worthwhile, in this town?"

"Worthwhile, in this town," she repeated back to me.

"What do you have to lose?" she asked.

"My chance of redemption against this school for making my life a living Hell."

"That's not redemption, that's revenge. And revenge is a fool's priveledge. You're not a fool. I'm giving you a chance of happiness. A chance that doesn't involve bullets and blood."

"Happiness? How the hell are you going to do that?"

She bit her lip as she had done before, "Well it starts with you shutting the fuck up, seizing your stubborness, following me to my car, and getting the hell out of here. Then all you have to do is listen. If you don't like what I have to tell you, you can kill yourself. Shit, I'll even pull the trigger if you'd like!"

With those words she started walking away, glancing back at me but once. I contemplated my odds. Realizing that I didn't have anything to lose, I followed my desire to see what other things could possibly spew out of this girl's mouth.

As for my big day, there was always tomorrow.