Almost Human

"Bye, Doris!" I shouted to the receptionist lady, who waved back at me. I skipped to my car and drove home. Tonight, we were ordering chinese dinner at Matt's place. I was super excited to be there, because after what had happened between me and Brian yesterday. How we almost.. kissed. I thought about it, and decided I would be honest with him about my feelings.
run over by a bus
'One thing' by One Direction was playing on the radio. I wasn't a directioner, but the song was nice. "Get out, get out, get outta my head!" I sang loudly, the smile that was monkey-glued to my face, couldn't go away. I didn't want it to go away anyway.

I parked in front of Matt's house and ran spotted Brian's car. I ran into the house and announced my arrival, "GUYS! I'M HEEEEEERE!"

I jogged to the backyard to see Matt and val taking orders, Jimmy chasing Tracy around Johnny, Lacey, Zacky and Gena were playing a board game... Brian was in the pool with....

MICHELLE?

I felt my heart fall out my chest, get kicked around onto the road, pecked at by vultures, and then gets run over by a bus. They were splashing water at each other, laughing and smiling. My face dropped and I said, "Hey, guys!"

I got back some Hi's and Hey's, but everyone was too busy coupling. I huffed and sat down next to Jimmy. I glared at Brian and Michelle, but looked away in case they noticed. I sighed and stared up at the darkening sky. Why is she here? For a moment I thought hat Brian and I could be.. How could have I been so stup- A hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the house. It was Jimmy.

We sat down at the living room couch, and he looked me in the eye. I faked a smile at him and asked, "What's up Jimmy?. He eyed me. "I didn't know anything about Brian and Michelle. I don't know where she came from, but I know about your little crush on him. I know how everyday, you and him get closer. I know about yesterday" I kept quiet. Brian must have gave this information while he was drunk. I tried looking for words to say, but found none.

"Am I right?" he asked. "Honestly, I couldn't care if Bri-" "I'm not done talking!" Jimmy interrupted.

Then he continued, "You may not believe me, but I know how hurt you are that they're together. I know the pain you feel. I hate him for making you feel that way. And you can't tell me you're okay, 'cause I know you aren't!" Jimmy's voice was stern and serious. "I can control my heart." I said in a monotone voice.

He shouted back "You can control your head. NOT. Your heart! You can't-" The anger boiled inside of me and I had to let it out.

"I may not be able to control my heart, nor my head. But guess what? They are TOGETHER! I can't go fuck up their relationship! I can't do that to him. I may not be able to stop liking him, but sure as hell I can pretend it doesn't hurt! Just watch!" I snapped.

"Everything alright?" a voice asked. Jimmy and I had been so deep in argument that we didn't hear Brian enter the room. His face wore a concerned and scared expression. "Yeah, it's fine." Jimmy answered. He nodded and walked back out to the backyard.

"I'm sorry I snapped.." I apologized. He nodded and said, "Me too..". He got up and hugged me. He whispered:

"Promise me, no matter what happens. You won't do anything stupid. Nothing that will tear us apart, nothing that will change us. Promise?"

"I promise.." I replied but something told me, it wasn't going to be easy.

We walked back out to the backyard, whee the food had been delivered through the backgate. We picked our food, and sat down on the grass.
I chose my all time favourite, kung-pow chicken noodles. :D

All the couples, cuddled, fed each other, and did a little PDA. I pretended to gag, but Gena got me. "Come on, Jay. You're just jealous!"she said. I shook my head and gave her the 'WTF' look. I continued to eat.

"So, Jay. How was university?" asked the innocent faced Michelle. I wanted to rip her head off, but she hasn't really done anything mean to me. So I answered.

"Like all the older people say.. It's fun, the best years of your life.. but also the hardest." I smiled as I flashbacked through all my years there. She nodded and started talking about her and Brian. I tuned out, lying on my back and staring at the night sky.

You can tell tonight's going to rain. No stars, cloudy, but you could still see the big, white, round moon. I sighed. I wish I could live on the moon, where everyone doesn't leave to soon. Hey! That rhymes!

I got up, took my lyric book out my bag, sat down far away from the group. I pulled of my hoodie and fanned myself with my hand. My lyric book was a leather bound book filled with lyrics (of course), melodies and doodles. I quickly jotted down the lyrics I had formed

If only we could live on the moon
Where everybody doesn't leave too soon
If only the clouds didn't cover the stars
No chance for it to spread it's light

Forever isn't long enough
compared to the time I waited for you
The days I survived on air alone
with nothing left to prove.

I put the pen down, and read it over, and over again. "Deep lyrics.." commented a voice that belonged to Brian. I quickly closed the book and glared at him. "These are private!" I snapped. He smirked and replied "So, soon the whole world will get to hear it.. but not us?".

I got up packed my book back into my bag and pulled on my hoodie. "Guys! I'm leaving!" I announced. I hugged them goodbye, even Michelle, and left. The whole ride back, I thought of Brian and Michelle. The way he wrapped his arms around her, compared to mine. How he kissed her, how we almost kissed.

It was hard to sleep with the image of them in my head.