Early Sunsets Over Monroeville

I was in my van, with my best friend Emi. We were driving to New York, with the van full of some stuff from home. Emi and I were leaving Maryland, so we could start our careers. Emi, photography and for me, fashion. At least that was the excuse I gave her. You see, the two of us left very “unexpectedly”. As soon as I had came home, I began packing. A few days later, we were off.

The radio was playing a pop song I didn’t know the name of , nor did I like. Then Emi asked me, “Where’d you put the CD’s? This music is shit”. I laughed at the irony of how my best friend had said part of what I was thinking. I replied, “Mine are under your seat. I never took them out after I came back,”. Emi looked under the seat and grabbed the black fabric covered box. She chose a CD quickly, the mainstream song getting to her. Opening the case, she put in the CD and the first track started playing. The all too familiar sound of Jack screaming "This song is about my Herpes! It's called Break Out! Break Out!" and then the live version of the song entered in my ears. The aching in my chest came back. It had never really left, though. Not since the end of Warped Tour. It would only increase and sometimes it was more than I could handle.

“ADDISON, LOOK OUT!”

Emi grabbed the steering wheel from me and quickly turned it, letting us avoid from driving into the late-night traffic of Philadelphia. I took back the wheel, and pulled into the first motel I saw. Emi didn’t say a word, but I knew I was going to get an earful whenever we got into the rented room.

I got out the car, and walked into the reception area. It was dark and quite frankly, disgusting. The furniture had tears in it, like a cat attacked it, and both of the small tables by the door had half-eaten food on them. I considered running up to the desk where there was a decent looking man in a green shirt and blue jeans. He was nice enough, as I paid for a room. Not wanting to spend anymore time there, I hurried out. When I could see the old, black van and got Emily’s attention, I waved the keys in the air, signally to Emily that I had the key to the room. Before getting out of the car, Emily grabbed a small gym bag holding some clothes. She then ran to me, and the both of us went off to find our room for the night.

Once Emi and I found the motel room, we quickly went inside. Emi flopped onto the only bed in the room. It was a queen, so we both could share it. I ignored her, going into the small bathroom and looking into the mirror. I had dark bags under my eyes, and my skin was dull. I guess sleepless nights can do that to you. I don't know how long I was staring at my reflection until I noticed Emi leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed. Sighing, I looked away and proceeded into the room, sitting down on the bed. Emi followed me and remained standing.

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me, Andy. We can do this the easy way, which is you telling me, or the hard way, which is me reading your journal. Your choice,”

I sighed, again, knowing Emi would stick to her word. I rearranged my thoughts, so it would all make sense and possibly be less painful. Leaning against the headboard, I pulled my knees to my chest and began telling Emily about a day only about a week ago.

“You remember that guy I met at Warped?”

She nodded, sitting down beside me on the bed.

“Emi, he hurt me. . .” I started before my thoughts were entirely consumed with the night before the last day of Warped Tour.

“It was around 1 or 2 in the morning. A couple of the bands, Jack, his bandmates, and I were all drinking and having a good time. It was the last night we could all have fun together, so we were having a party. I went with Zack, you know Zack Merrick we went to highschool with him, to go buy some more booze. We just went Wal-Mart, it was within walking distance. I was a little bit more than buzzed and he seemed to be so too, so we were laughing almost the entire time. When we got back, I grabbed a couple boxes of beer to go set on one of the tables that were almost out. Me and Jack were there together, so I grabbed him a beer and started to look for him . . .”

Tears were streaming down my face and I had to stop to wipe them off.

“It took forever. I had to ask if people had seen him, he was so damn hard to find, but I did it. I found him.”

The tears increased, and I even sobbed a little.

“He was with a girl. Not any girl, like Sierra or Juliet. It was one of those girls that only go to a concert to sleep with the band. And he was- he was-”

It was too much. I was ready to just break down, when Emi grabbed me and pulled me to her. I cried into Emi’s shoulder as she stroked my hair, the memories and the pain getting to me. When sobbing finally turned into the hiccups I told Emi the rest of the story, still lying in her arms.

“Jack was making out with the slut, he was all but fucking her!” I screamed, a bit of my anger coming out.

“When I saw that I dropped the beer and ran. Apparently he heard me because he started calling my name and ran after me. I didn’t even look behind me. I didn’t care, I just wanted to get back to the bus. But he caught up with me, and grabbed my arms, turning me around. I stared at the ground, crying, while he poured out the same cliche line about how it wasn’t his fault. I told him that was bull-shit and he knew it. Then he started on about some nonsense about Alex and I fucking behind his back, so if I could cheat he could too. I said 'Now that is definitely bull-shit!' and asked where he got that idea. He said we were being secretive and would always stop talking whenever he was around. I told him that Alex and I were just friends and that he was the only one I had wanted to be with. I guess Jack believed me because then he starting spewing out some shit like, ‘Please, Andy, trust me. I'm sorry! She meant- She means nothing. I love you! Please stay,’” he said.
I mocked his voice, still feeling angry.

“I glared up at him. ‘Stay? You rip my heart out of my chest, abuse my trust, and you want me to stay.’ I began saying, calmly might I add, but then. Then I started getting angry. ‘After watching you suck face with a whore, I’m not going anywhere with you! You’re a dick, Jack Barakat! No, you’re more than that. You’re a fucking liar, a cheater, and an asshole! I don’t love you back. Not anymore,’ That got him to stop talking,”

I looked away and laughed bitterly, picturing the entire scene in my head.

“After that I told Jack that I never wanted to see him ever again and that he hurt me. Then I just walked away. He didn’t follow me. I just stayed in the bus the rest of the night. When Juliet and the guys came back, I told them I was leaving. Got my stuff and took the first flight I could back to Maryland.” I finished.

I had stopped sobbing and crying. I was just lying there, my head on Emi’s lap. She was still stroking my hair, knowing it worked in calming me down. I flipped onto my back, so I could look at Emi. She was frowning and had a mix between anger and sympathy in her eyes. I sighed loudly, I seem to do that a lot lately, then yawned. Crying makes my head hurt and adding on the anger made me even more tired. “You still love him, don’t you?” Emi whispered, sensing that I was falling asleep. I nodded. “So much Emi,” I said.

“Well before you go to sleep, is there anything else you should tell me?” She asked.

Once again I nodded, and said quietly “I’m pregnant”.