The Dreaming Smile Above the Skin

Today's finally my birthday and I'm so excited to be sharing it with the man of my dreams. Of course it could go a bit smoother considering the fact that Brendon has on and off chest tightening again. None the less, even if he told me to not worry, I think one of the best gifts from him would be for him to get treated next week.
Brendon makes me breakfast in bed which was almost too flattering.
"You didn't have to." I tell him.
"Sure I did." He says with a smile, "It is your birthday of course."
I give him a little nudge as I finish up with my food.
He then proceeds to take the plate off my lap as I then get dressed and head into the kitchen.
He's about done making food for himself as I wrap my arms from around the back of him.
"Well hello birthday boy." He says.
"Hey." I say as my chin rests on his shoulder just for a little while.
I let him go as he sits to eat at the table. I sit across from him.
"So what's the plan today?" I ask.
"Hmm." He says, looking as if he was trying to think too hard, "We could walk down to the beach and then go to a fancy restaurant."
I look at him like he's crazy, "Sounds romantic."
We both giggle a bit before saying, "I'm a cheesy guy."
"Sounds lovely." I say with a smile.
By the time he finishes eating, we head down to the beach.
There's a decent amount of people here, so we decide to not hold hands. We walk along the edge of the low tide waves and walk close enough to each other that we could be played off as just friends. We eventually make it to the end of the beach. I long for his hand in mine so I take it.
We stop walking. He looks at me and smiles.
"I love you." I tell him.
"Love you too, more than anything." He brings up my hand to his lips and kisses it.
I remember the last time at the beach: Sand in our toes, slightly drenched with ocean water. It was dark; only us. He kissed me ever so perfectly.
"Think we should go to dinner now, birthday boy?" He asks.
"Yeah." I say.
We then head back to the car and make our way to the restaurant.
By the time we order our meals at this five star (which I was surprised Brendon could even afford) we are at it playing footsies under the table. He keeps giving me cute smiles and I just sit and question how I end up being so lucky.
By the time our food comes, Brendon looks a little uneasy. I don't question why, besides, my whole life I kinda figured it took too many muscles to create a long lasting smile. I notice his hand go to his chest as he pauses. He shades his eyes from me. That chest pain, I know it can't be just anything.
"Brendon-" I start, but he cuts me off.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could have made this day better for you."
"It's been wonderful. You in my life makes it all great."
He takes a second before saying, "But I feel like making you worry about me just throws that all off."
"If you promise me you'll see Mr. Walker in the next week, I won't have to worry as much."
He sighs a bit before rubbing his forehead. He says, "If that'll make you happy." He gives off a small smile.
"I don't... want to see you in pain." I tell him.
"I don't want you to worry about me-"
"That's not so bad of a compromise is it then?"
"I guess it's not." He gives off another smile, but then it disappears just as quickly as his hand goes to his chest again.
"We could go home now." I say.
"You barely touched your food."
"You're more important to me than anything."
As soon as we finish paying the check, I drive him back to the house.
"You, you didn't have to." He says in the passenger seat.
"Course I did." I tell him.
I can see him rub his eyes a bit.
I say, "As soon as you take some painkillers, you should sleep."
A few minutes go by in complete silence before he says, "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, I'm sorry for worrying too much. I know that's the one thing you don't like about me." Slips out. Because I can't lie and say, 'of course he loves everything about me.' Because from anyone I've learned that it's complete bullshit.
He grows silent, "You're that one person to actually give a shit about what I have. I went my whole life being happy and carefree. Dealing with this thing I have on my own. No one questioned, it made me feel a bit better about myself."
"We bring out the saddest parts in each other, don't we?"
"I guess we do."
It grows quiet as we finally arrive home. It takes a minute to notice how long it takes him to get out of the car. I then take his hand as we head inside.
He stands around the island as I give him the water and pills. He takes them slowly, but his hand rushes to his chest again. I go to him, but I'm not really sure what to do.
"Ry, It's okay." He removes his hand from his chest and shakes off his shoulders.
"You've said that so many times, sometimes, it's hard to believe."
He cups the side of my face and looks deep into my eyes.
"I try so hard, just for you." He smiles, I smile.
He gives me a soft kiss on the lips.
All of the sudden, his smile fades and his hand goes to his temple. He starts rubbing it.
He says, "Must have been the food."
"You sure?"
It takes a second before his hand removes from his temple, "Yeah." He says; he looks at me with a little smile.
"You should definitely sleep."
"I guess your gift can wait."
"It probably should." I say.
"C'mon." I stick out my hand for him to take it. His hand falls gentle on mine, but he looks away to rub his temple with his free fingers. His smile fades once again.
I move him along with caution, but then his body relaxes too much, his hand slips from mine; eyes shut, and he falls right to the floor.
Shit, shit, shit!
I go quickly to the ground beside him, "Brendon?!" I rub his cheeks, "Bren? Brendon, please!"
I quickly get my phone and call 911. I sit by his side, worried as hell, as the ambulance comes.
They put him on a stretcher as tears sprout from my eyes.
I know he was breathing. I just don't know if he's going to be okay.
I go in the back of the ambulance because I'm not going to leave his side.
As soon as we make it to the hospital, he is rushed to intensive care. The doctors tell me to wait and my heart begins to crush little by little as the minutes tick by. My Brendon, in intensive care, completely passed out. Of course it's a part of his condition and if this ever happens again, of course I wouldn't get used to it. In the back of my mind I know he said it couldn't be terminal, but these symptoms didn't make it any better.
Almost two hours go by as I still sit and wait, because all and all... I just want him to be okay.
I then see a doctor come out of the room. He tells me, "We'll treat him when he becomes fully conscious, which will take the rest of the night until then."
"I don't want to leave him." I tell him.
"Understood." He says.
And they do let me stay. Mr. Walker sees me and is kind enough to let me sleep in one of the rooms.
When the morning comes, Mr. Walker leads me to Brendon's room finally.
I rush to his side, "Bren! You're okay!" He gives me a smile, but behind that smile... I see something hidden. His eyes seem a bit red.
I look at Mr. Walker, "He's okay, right?"
There isn't a smile on his face.
I become confused... and worried. Did he have to stay longer for treatment? Was one of his limbs disabled somehow? Whatever has happened, can't be that serious.
But somehow time stands still... because Brendon drops that perfect smile of his.
I look at him, "Bren, w-what is it? Whatever it is I'm sure we can work through it together."
Brendon doesn't speak, instead his eyes water and solemn tears spill down his face.
"W-what's going on?" My brain almost hurts, questioning why my precious angel decides to spill tears and not even speak. I hold his hand as tight as I can.
Mr. Walker speaks, "Mr. Urie wanted me to tell you."
"Oh okay what... what is it?"
He sighs before saying, "He had high pressure in his lungs, causing his preexisting condition to become terminable, which in fact is highly rare. Brendon, I'm afraid to say, only has less than a year left to live."
His words hit me like a shotgun bullet right to the chest.
"No, no, no!" I try. This can't be true, this can't be true...
I have to still be dreaming. This isn't happening.
This is a nightmare I desperately want to wake up from.
"I'm sorry." Brendon whispers through his dropping tears.
I throw my arms around my love and hold him tight to my chest. My tears spill viciously across my face.
No...
No.....