Status: Complete
The Dreaming Smile Above the Skin
Everything Beautiful Is Being Destroyed
Mr. Walker tells me that Brendon can stay home for the months he’s still stable enough to make it through the day. I still don’t fully take it all in. One ear and right out the other. Why? Because this is a nightmare. Some cold harsh reality that can’t be existent. I couldn’t even look at him. His tear stained eyes. That’s all I can really process. I give up quicker than anything. That speeding bullet right through my goddamn chest. You don’t look in the victim’s eyes for very long. Accept your fate. No. That’s not how it works. It never works like that.
We… we finally start heading home. We take my car after I previously picked it up from the house. It’s my responsibility to take… him… home.
Feeling him in the passenger seat. It’s all a dream. Of course it is. But no, if this is really a reality, one move, and it’s gone. I would have instantly gone through the process of pinching myself. It’s going to hurt… so bad. When I wake up….
His steady breathing, next to me. His body heat radiating from a body containing a heart that will give out in a short amount of time. This is not reality. This is not my Brendon. He’d be safe and healthy. This ghost. This soon to be spirit. I want time to freeze just for a while, because I can feel the nails… I can feel them creeping up my spin.
“Ryan…”
His voice. The nails pinching my skin so tight. My eyes water and it burns. It all burns. It’s real. Everything. He is here next to me. My Brendon. He’s going to die. He’s going to leave me. I’m going to lose him. The muscles in my face move in such a way that it hurts. The tears fall down my contorted face. The sky almost looks like it will pour rain… and what an occasion. It’s probably just the salty liquid in my eyes.
His hand touches my shoulder and it singes my skin. I jerk away and let more tears fall. That pinch has turned into a flame to show me that the love of my life will be gone before me. I can’t turn to look at him, because if I do… I’m bound to crash this damn car.
When we finally get home, I still don’t look at him. I head to… our room. I crash onto the bed and I let the tears fall like a dam that has just been busted open by a hurricane.
“Ry…”
His voice. Again. It just kills me again and again. But I finally look at him through my wet eyes. It kills me not seeing a smile, but there’s nothing happy is there?
Everything beautiful is being destroyed.
He sits on the edge of the bed. I look away again. Just imagining him on his death bed. No… no goddamn it.
I look into his eyes as he speaks, “Ryan, I’m so sorry. I don’t want us to end up so crumbled so soon. I want us to embrace the time I have. It would mean the world.”
He sticks out his hand. I almost hesitate, but I let it fall into his palm. So warm.
So… warm.
We… we finally start heading home. We take my car after I previously picked it up from the house. It’s my responsibility to take… him… home.
Feeling him in the passenger seat. It’s all a dream. Of course it is. But no, if this is really a reality, one move, and it’s gone. I would have instantly gone through the process of pinching myself. It’s going to hurt… so bad. When I wake up….
His steady breathing, next to me. His body heat radiating from a body containing a heart that will give out in a short amount of time. This is not reality. This is not my Brendon. He’d be safe and healthy. This ghost. This soon to be spirit. I want time to freeze just for a while, because I can feel the nails… I can feel them creeping up my spin.
“Ryan…”
His voice. The nails pinching my skin so tight. My eyes water and it burns. It all burns. It’s real. Everything. He is here next to me. My Brendon. He’s going to die. He’s going to leave me. I’m going to lose him. The muscles in my face move in such a way that it hurts. The tears fall down my contorted face. The sky almost looks like it will pour rain… and what an occasion. It’s probably just the salty liquid in my eyes.
His hand touches my shoulder and it singes my skin. I jerk away and let more tears fall. That pinch has turned into a flame to show me that the love of my life will be gone before me. I can’t turn to look at him, because if I do… I’m bound to crash this damn car.
When we finally get home, I still don’t look at him. I head to… our room. I crash onto the bed and I let the tears fall like a dam that has just been busted open by a hurricane.
“Ry…”
His voice. Again. It just kills me again and again. But I finally look at him through my wet eyes. It kills me not seeing a smile, but there’s nothing happy is there?
Everything beautiful is being destroyed.
He sits on the edge of the bed. I look away again. Just imagining him on his death bed. No… no goddamn it.
I look into his eyes as he speaks, “Ryan, I’m so sorry. I don’t want us to end up so crumbled so soon. I want us to embrace the time I have. It would mean the world.”
He sticks out his hand. I almost hesitate, but I let it fall into his palm. So warm.
So… warm.
♠ ♠ ♠
yeaah so i figured HEY if i put any summaries for the remaining chapters of this story, it would just give away stuff SO you obviously know you are 1 chapter past the half way point now since youve finished this! yeah just thought you should know. i guess in the end all i can say is, well, ry will give himself a chance to embrace the time he has with bren.