The Dreaming Smile Above the Skin

By the time Wednesday rolls around, I receive a text from Brendon.
"Hey I rented Fight Club! Think I can come over and watch it with you?"
I reply almost automatically, without thinking, "Yeah sure."
I receive a reply from him not even a minute later:
"Cool! Tonight at 7 sound good?"
"Yeah"
I stand there, just stand there, realizing Brendon was coming over in less than 3 hours.
I then rush to clean the house.
By the time I finish, I look at my clock 7:05. He was going to be here any second.
The doorbell rings a minute later. I take a deep breath and slowly open the door. There he was: bright smile on his face, baggy jeans, and a loose fitting Smashing Pumpkins shirt.
"Hey." He says.
"Hi." I say back.
Strangely, I didn't feel nervous. I feel almost anxious to spend time with him.
"Come on in!" I tell him. Hopefully I sound as though I am greeting him rather than being shy out of my mind.
He keeps on smiling as he walks into the house.
He looks around, "Nice place." He says. I shut the door.
I stand there for one awkward minute before I tell him where the kitchen and living room are.
He says, "Alrighty. So how about we start watching the movie."
"Yes, let's" I say.
"I could put it in if you tell me where the movie player is." He walks over to the TV.
He is too kind, I say, "Oh I could just do it."
He turns around and hands me the DVD. Our fingers didn't brush this time. I put the movie in quickly, almost forcefully. Oh yeah and did I mention I was shaking a bit? As soon as I get it in, I look behind me; Brendon's already sitting on the couch.
Our eyes meet and he gives me an innocent smile. I then come over and sit next to him as I grab the remote to turn on the TV. Funny, I didn't feel as nervous when he smiles at me. It feels comfortable and soothing. 10 minutes into the movie and my body becomes stiff, listening to Brendon's exhales; feeling him shift.
I was back to being nervous again. I really shouldn't be.
By the time 30 minutes pass, I look over to him. His eyes are fixed on the movie and I swear... he still has that smile on his face. This time though, he had a blanket on him. It was probably the one that hung off the couch.
It has been an hour and I start to shiver. I pray Brendon wouldn't see. I didn't want him to be concerned. He seems so snug.
I then hear, "Ry."
"Yeah." I say, eyes now glued on the screen.
"You're shivering."
"I know." I say, even more quiet this time.
"Do you want the blanket? I mean it is yours."
"No it's fine."
"Ryan, you're cold." He says with a concerned voice.
"I'm fine." I say, almost in a whisper.
"C'mon." He says, tossing some of the blanket towards me. At this point I really shun myself on the fact that I keep the house so cold. I let the part of the blanket hang off the side of me. I don't move.
"Take some." He says.
"It's too short." I say. I'm making this way more complicated than it should be.
"Come here." He says, still in a serious tone. I finally look over to him. His arms are open.
A nervous chill runs up my spin.
I then start to wonder if he's always this affectionate.
"Brendon." I almost whine. Hoping he gets the idea that we just met (sort of) and it's awkward to be snuggling with someone that's the same sex.... and yet he offers. No, Ryan, no. I shake my head.
"Fine then." He says as he scoots closer to me, instantly wrapping his arms around my body. He throws the blanket over us. I become stiff again. His touch made me instantly shiver harder than before. (not to mention the raging butterflies). He was so warm, so... warm. I can smell his cologne... somehow the sent calms my nerves. We don't say anything as we keep watching the movie.
As soon as I stop shivering completely, I hear Brendon say, "You're welcome."
"Are you always like this with your friends?" I ask.
"Like what?"
"Affectionate."
"Yeah, but to be honest, you're the first one of my friends who hasn't pushed me away."
Was he trying to hint at something? Does he now automatically assume I'm gay? Was... it that obvious?! Was this a test? Does he think I like him?
"Oh." I reply. That's all I say. Honestly, that's the only thing that I could even push out of my mouth at this time.
"You seem totally fine with it though." Brendon says.
"I don't question people or push them away that easily." I tell him. My chest feels tight. Oh memories, please stay away.
"Oh, I'm just an open affectionate guy who just loves the finer things in life."
I laugh a little, "Yeah I can kinda tell."
Even if my eyes are glued to the TV, I know he is smiling.
By the time the movie ends, it's around 9. As much as my gut told me he should stay, there was a slight chance he had a night shift at that record store, or an early start.
I get up and take out the movie to put it back in its case. I hand Brendon back the DVD.
He then says, "I know we haven't known each other for that long, but would you mind if I crashed here tonight?"
Surprisingly enough, I didn't have to openly admit to my mind anyway.
"Sure, don't mind at all."
"Cool! So I guess I'll crash on the couch then."
"Yeah that's fine. I'll get some extra pillows and blankets."
"Mmkay sweet." He says as he plops himself on the couch.
Brendon... is actually going to sleep on my couch tonight. God, I need to stop freaking out. He is just a new friend... and that total perfect guy from my dream... okay yeah I need to cool it.
As soon as I grab a blanket and extra pillows from my room, I head back into the living room. There lay a sleeping Brendon on the couch. Not gonna lie but he looks really peaceful and almost beautiful like that. Funny, 3 minutes ago I couldn't even see the tiredness in him. Carefully, I slip the extra blanket over his chest.
"Thanks Ryan." He says, eyes still shut; getting snug in the blanket.
"You're welcome." I say. I catch his ever so tiny smile and spread it wide across my face. The man from my dreams is more perfect than I ever could imagine.
----
By the time the morning rolls around, I walk in the living room, finding no Brendon peacefully sleeping on the couch. I have to admit that it tugs at my heart just a little. I then check my phone, which was placed on the kitchen counter. Brendon leaves me a message:
"Had to go into the record store early, sorry that you missed me. Thanks for letting me spend the night. The couch was comfy."
I smile at the last bit. He was such a sweetheart.
For the rest of the day I spend my time around the house, never letting the thought of Brendon slip from my mind. Today is one of those days where I never stop smiling. (let me remind you how rare that is). I keep thinking to myself: Could this be love at first sight? I've seen him a dozen times in my dreams. I've inched ever so closely to falling in love with him. This wasn't love at first sight, but actually seeing him in real life... it could be a possibility.