Don't Let Me Jump, Don't Let Me Fall

Vic

Day three 2:00 a.m.

The words "Are you still up?" flashed across my screen. I quickly typed back my response. Another message appeared just like that. I read it to myself before sending one more text back. My phone's vibration informed me about the new text I had just now received.

It wasn't like me to stay up this late even if I was conversing with a person. Usually I would've said my goodbyes and stopped messaging them but this time it was different. I was glued to my phone and couldn't put it down. Only because this time it was Avery who was texting me.

'So what else do you want to talk about?' Avery had messaged me.

'I don't know. We pretty much talked about everything already.' I sent back. Opening the twitter app on my phone I swiftly typed 'those late night conversations' into the small box and closed out of the app.

Luckily we had two days off in Vegas so I could sleep for a few before all the bands visited the pools and bars for Jack Barakat's big birthday celebration at the Hard Rock Hotel.

My phone vibrated again as I checked my new message. At this rate I would need all the sleep I could get. The rustling and stirs coming from the guys on the bus knocked me out of my thoughts.

"Agh, who's still up?" I stood quiet at the sound of Tony's voice.

"If that's you Vic go to sleep." chimed in Mike.

I laughed silently to myself at their words. Sleep wasn't even crossing my mind at this moment. I would rather stay up right now then miss a text from Avery. That reminded me. I felt my fingers move across the screen as I typed 'I think my band members are starting to get mad at me for keeping them up.'

She was probably laughing as she read the message. It didn't take her too long to send one right back to me.

'I'm sorry :(. Maybe this is their way of telling us to go to sleep now.'

I sent another text her way.

'Don't be sorry and I guess we should.'

'Goodnight.'

My phone soon vibrated again. "Vic go to sleep!" yelled Jaime. I smiled at the text before sending her my last one for the night.

'Goodnight' And with that I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep. If only we didn't have to end our conversation.

10:05

"Finally someone's up." Mike exclaimed as I made my way towards the front lounge of the bus. "What time is it?" I questioned the guys while sliding into the small booth we had in the front.

"Five minutes past 10." Tony answered.

I felt myself yawn. It was probably my best bet to go back to sleep and even though I stayed up late I still didn't blame Avery.

"Where exactly are we at right now?"

"Somewhere in Utah." Jaime said, "But we would've already been in Vegas by now if it wasn't for someone who couldn't hold their liquor down last night and kept stumbling as we walked back to the bus." He directed at Mike.

Mike raised his hands up in defense, "It's not entirely my fault, sometimes shit like that happens." We all laughed at his comment.

Checking my pockets I noticed that my phone wasn't in either of them. I must've left it back in my bunk. Avery was probably awake by now so she mostly likely wouldn't mind if I sent a text her way. All I needed was a good excuse to tell the guys.

"Excuse me." I motioned towards Tony to get up from his seat in the booth.

"Vic where are you going?" Tony asked wondering what my reason was for suddenly wanting to leave. "Yeah," chimed in Mike, "You just woke up at least come play Halo with us after we finish eating."

"Uh n-no thanks guys." I tried explaining to the group. They all looked at me interested in what I was going to say next. If only I was good coming up with excuses fast. "I'm only leaving to simply go back to sleep. I'm still tired from last night that's all."

Tony slid over and let me out I was soon about to make my way back towards my bus until I was stopped by Jaime's voice.

"Wait just a minute there." He said. I froze in my spot and turned around facing my band members. Jaime continued where he had left off, "How can you be tired from yesterday when you didn't even go to the barbeque?"

"Uh I-I-I uh..." This was no good being put under pressure by them. It would be minutes before I was forced to spill the truth out.

"I'm still worn out from yesterday's performance that's all no big deal." I waved my hand back and forth trying to get them to stop questioning me. "Now if you'll excuse me I have some sleeping to do."

"I'm surprised you're even still up at all." Tony spoke back up again."Especially since you used most of your energy texting someone early in the morning. From what I could make out you were barely worrying about trying to sleep back then."

"I wasn't texting anyone." I lied.

"Stop trying to ignore the fact that you were Vic." Mike declared. I just stood there quiet and confused on what to say at this point. My sentences and words were starting to become jumbled up. I wanted to deny the fact as much as I could but nothing would make its way out of my mouth.

"So who's the lucky lady?" Jaime asked looking directly at me with a grin appearing across his face. "Uh-." I stuttered. Just great.

"It's blessthefall's merch girl isn't it; I knew there was something going on between you two." Mike had cut me off. "Pftt, it's obviously the chick who we saw at catering the other day right Vic?" Tony stated to the rest of the group.

Their guessing soon escalated into a big argument right before my very eyes. One by one they tried voicing their opinion over one another attempting to guess the mysterious person that I was texting. I felt my blood begin to boil as they kept on going. This needed to end right now or else it would get out of hand even more.

Plus I didn't see why they needed to worry about my love life anyway. If I was in love it's my overall decision to make on whether to tell them or not. They shouldn't have to argue about who they thought I was speaking to.

"Are you sure it's not the sound tech for Tonight Aliv-" Jaime said before I stepped back into the conversation, cutting him off.

"Alright stop it!" I yelled loud and clear for them hear me. The bickering quickly ceased and silence appeared on the bus. "That's enough. Why are you guys making such a big deal over this simple little thing? It was only one person I texted and that's all that matters. I really don't need your extra input on who it was or could've been. It doesn't deal with you one bit."

All of them sat there, exchanging looks between each other undecided on what to say and who was going to respond back first. A few minutes later Tony chose to speak up.

"Ever since your last well you know-" He paused and sighed quickly before continuing, "Ever since your breakup with her we didn't know if you would even think about bringing someone new into your life. And honestly that's why we're worried so much."

"You wore yourself out so much after your last relationship claiming how it was your fault for everything that happened in the end and etc. The guys and I hated that so much we couldn't stand to let you do that to yourself anymore." Jaime said.

"Even though we're not all blood related here we're still a family and we care about you and your happiness Vic. Familia." Mike said as he walked up and wrapped his arm around me. I glanced at the group. Mi familia.

They would always be there for me no matter, through whatever up and downs I went through. I was stuck on my words, sure they truly cared but however my love life didn't concern them whatsoever. Mi familia.

"I appreciate everything and all you guys I sincerely do," I removed my brother's arm from around me and took another look at my band, "but if you don't mind I really want to go back to sleep." They nodded their heads either understanding what I said over the topic or because they didn't want to upset anymore than they already had.

As I made my way back towards my bunk I let out a yell. It felt right; like it was the only thing to do. It didn't matter whether or not I was still on the bus and the guys could hear me, nor did it matter if I had bothered anyone by doing it.

After finishing my quick scream fest I climbed into my bunk only to come face to face with my past. Pictures of my ex still were on the wall side of my bunk. I stared at each and every one. Old memories of us when we were together started making their way back into my head. As I ran my fingers over them I couldn't but think about what I was doing.

Avery was a very mysterious but yet interesting person. Everything about her made me want to get to know her even more. Parts of me were however holding myself back on wanting to pursue anything with her.

"Look at what you did to me." I whispered under my breath as I continued glancing at the pictures on my wall. Every time I would try to move on with my life I would simply get put back where I started. The only question there is am I ready to let another person into my life again or have them fuck it all up all over again similar to the last time.



Las Vegas, Nevada 10:35 p.m.

"We're sorry about the confrontation earlier Vic." Jaime said as we stopped in the intersection of the hotel hallways. "It's okay I understand what you guys were trying to say." I responded back.

"So we meet back here later tomorrow for Jack's pool get together and then later we'll hit the clubs for his birthday bash." declared Tony.

We nodded our heads, said our goodbyes, and then parted our separate ways. Mike was sharing a room with his pal in another band on warped while Jaime and Tony were sharing a room with each other. Me on the other chose to have a room all to myself. The guys didn't mind that at all.

I walked down the long hallway with my suitcase in tow trying to find my suite quickly. I could feel myself starting to become tired and drowsy from the lengthy road trip. All I wanted right now was a nice hot shower and then a chance to finally get some peace and quiet as I slept.

"M14. M16. 18. M20." One by one I passed rooms anxiously wanting to come across mine." "Ah here it is." I thought. The number upon the door read M22. Opening the door I noticed another person in the same room unpacking their stuff . My eyes met with the same hazel brown eyes that I had locked with yesterday afternoon.

"Vic?"

"Avery.."

I really didn't believe in fate but if this was a way of showing me a sign I was completely lost at the moment.