Don't Let Me Jump, Don't Let Me Fall

Avery

Day one: Salt Lake City, Utah

"Avery..Avery.." Alan said as he continually shook me, "Rise and shine; first day of Warped begins today.

I could care less about it being the first day of the tour, there were many others to come after anyway. All I wanted to do was just sleep the day in. "I'm surprised you're not hungover from last night especially due to how much you drank." I spoke, starting to get annoyed with him moving my body.

"I'm usually the one to not get them at all, I guess I was born lucky." He said.

Pulling the covers back over my figure I tried desperately to block out all the noise he was making trying to wake me up. That's when I felt him get up from his spot in my bed. The sound of his feet were starting to move away from near my bunk until they stop and he spoke again.

"You know I could always get Austin to wake you up."

The minute those words came out of his mouth I felt my body shot up immediately. It was obviously going to be a very tiring and stressful day for me.



I laid in the back lounge of the bus on the couch not bothering to pay any attention to whatever was on the tv screen above me. Instead I spent my time being occupied by my phone. Thoughts circled my mind over the message I had read multiple times.

The words "Can we talk?" made me shiver. This wasn't good at all. It seems like after kicking a person of out of your life they'll just manage to find a way back. Sure I hadn't fully accepted the idea of closure yet but I knew I didn't want to have to deal with him all over again.

Why am I always the one to be in dilemmas like this?

"Ave."

I jumped at the voice of the person who called my name. Quickly exiting out of my messages and replacing my phone in my back pocket like nothing had happened I look up in front of me only to see Alan again.

"Uh yes?" I asked, hoping that what he was going to say wouldn't take too long. Oh how wrong I was.

"You remembered to bring your camera right?" He questioned me.

"Yeah why wouldn't I?"

There was always a trick up Alan's sleeve and I was usually the one to never know what it was until last minute. It was going to be surprising to see what it was this time. Snapping out of my thoughts, I noticed him pulling something out of his pocket.

"I got you a summer job." He said as he threw a laminated pass at me. I look at it, the words across read: "Warped Tour 2012 Photography Pass."

"And why are you giving this to me again Alan, you know I haven't dealt with photography since high school."

I had only agreed to come on tour with the guys to get away from everything that had been bothering me and so I wouldn't feel isolated and lonely in the apartment. I didn't sign up to take pictures of bands one bit. If Alan could read my body language he would know how furious I am with him.

"Look I know you're mad and all but the purpose of you coming on tour was to finally live a little for once. Ever since your breakup with him you haven't been yourself and I'm officially tired of it. So just take the job and have some fun for once."
tired of it. So just take the job and have some fun for once."

I felt my blood boil at his words, he didn't know what it was like at all. He wasn't there every beating, he didn't take every single hit and punch that had been thrown. Dreadful scars weren't on his body like they had been on mine. He didn't lay awake night after night traumatized and freighted like I did.

Alan couldn't feel the pain that I had gone through in my relationship and not once would he fully understand it. I tried my best to put my anger aside at this point.

"It's not that easy, I want to forget and forgive. I honestly do but I can't."

He sighed as he glanced at my now tense figure again.

"Just because I may never truly understand your past doesn't mean I don't want to see you happy in the future. I sincerely care."

My feelings were on a rollercoaster as my thoughts became clouded and confusing. It's barely been day one of the tour and I'm already starting to argue with Alan all over again. No matter what I do, I'm constantly heading in nothing but circles.

"Look," Alan spoke up again, "All you have to do is take pictures of a few bands each day we tour, upload them to the Warped site like Kevin wants you do and you'll be finished for the day. It's nothing like being the Pit Reporter so you don't have to worry as much." He told me.

I sighed to myself; it would be better than lounging around on the bus all day.

"Fine."

Alan smiled as he handed me a folded piece of paper which he took out of his other pocket.

"On the paper are set times for the bands you'll be taking pictures of. Other information that you need is on the very bottom. If I were you I'd get ready."

"Why is that?"

Alan just laughed at my inquiry. "Doors already open and the first band you photograph go on in thirty minutes." I mentally slapped myself on the head. What had I gotten myself into.



As I left my second set of the day I placed my Canon camera back into my sling bag. Even though warped was fun the heat continuously made a way to get me in the end. So far I had managed to snap pictures of Chelsea Grin and We Are The In Crowd's sets for the day. Two down, one more to go.

I never really realized how much I missed the feeling of capturing pictures of bands. Sure I wasn't in the crowd with hundreds of other people but the music still made me feel apart of it.

My mind adverted back to earlier. I didn't mean to be rude to Alan at all, it's just when the topic is brought up numerous of times I begin to feel uneasy and the hurt from it starts to come back as well. Maybe I was a terrible person to begin with which is why I probably deserved it. It could've been a sign that I had been nothing but offensive and foul.

It's been getting to the point where my thoughts were leaving me in circles all over again. What was the point anymore? Before I could ponder the rest of my current troubles I felt myself collide into a figure.

"We got to stop running into each other like this." The voice said.
I glanced in front of me to see the guy from yesterday. The one who had sat with me outside of the bar not speaking after he returned my phone to me.

He held his hand before me and helped pull me back up onto my feet. While I dusted myself and my camera bag off I was able to get a decent look at him for once. His long brown hair rested on his shoulders as he wore a beanie on top of it, sunglasses covered his eyes and his tan skin gave off that he was most likely of some type of Hispanic nationality.

"You still there?" He questioned me.

Yeah," was all I could say at first. "Uh thanks again."

"Thanks for what?"

"For returning my phone is what I meant to say, but thanks." I said. "Thanks for being there for me when no one else was", was what I really felt like saying then and there but I still barely knew the guy even if I did sort of somewhat peak through his phone.

"I should be saying thanks to you also." He stated, "I should also properly introduce myself; Vic, Vic Fuentes." He held my hand and shook it.

"Avery, Avery Blake."

We stood there for a little longer still unsure of what to say next to one another until I felt the vibration of my phone. I had forgotten all about my last set for the day. Even though it would be a while til it started I still had to get a drink of water and head back to the bus to upload my pictures I had captured so far.

I could also sense that Vic had somewhere to go as well.

"I'm sorry this is so soon but I have to go." I told him, " I still have a lot of things to do right now, so I guess I'll see you again later."

Vic smiled, "Same, I hope to see you again soon that is if we happen to bump into each other again." I laughed at his words. Before we left we exchanged numbers and soon said goodbyes as we walked off in opposite directions once again. As I headed back to the of mice & men bus, I couldn't help but feel all of my worries from earlier and the past vanish.



I gulped down my third bottle of water today as I made my over to the Kia Rio Stage. The last band I had to photograph went by the name 'Pierce the Veil' the name sounded a little familiar but I haven't heard any of their songs. Even with my ipod full of multiple bands and genres I was still new to the band I was about to take pictures of.

I placed my bottled water into my bag's side pocket as I waited in front of the barricade with a large crowd behind me. A few minutes later one by one guys started taking their places as they walked onstage. I immediately recognized them from the bar last night. Then it hit me again as I saw Vic walk across the stage and start off their set.

His voice begin singing, and as the beautiful tone of it hit my ears I felt my heart race. One by one I snapped multiple pictures of him and the rest of the band throughout the set and each time he would manage to make eye contact with me.

I smiled at his gestures towards me.

Maybe Alan had been right this whole time, maybe it was best to stop worrying about the past and actually start living life for once.