Don't Let Me Jump, Don't Let Me Fall

Vic

Day one: Salt Lake City, Utah

"Hey I got your texts.."
Message deleted.

"Call me back, I miss your voice."
Message deleted.

"I thought about getting back together, call me."
Message deleted.

"Vic, you're making me worry. I said I was sorry and I forgive you, call back..please."
Message deleted. No new messages.

Multiple missed calls as well as texts and messages flooded my iphone. One by one I deleted each and every single one of them. Moments ago I was dying to hear the sound of her beautiful voice once more but now just even the smallest thought of it disgusted me. Who was I kidding, she meant the world to me.

There I go again, meant a word in past tense meaning that she had no meaning in my life anymore. I let out a small sigh as I laid back down in my bunk. What was I doing to myself; better yet why was I letting her do this to me in the first place?

She was the one who dumped me, I was the one left with a shattered heart and tears everywhere. And now all of a sudden she wants to get back together as if nothing happened at all. For the girl who said she regretted being with me in the first place she turns around fast.

After walking out on someone who loved and cherished you with everything they had what gives you the right mind to walk away then suddenly change your mind?

Then again, a part of me still felt the need for her to be together with me again. We would be complete again. Nevermind, I should forget it and erase that thought from my head she was the one who damaged me.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I stared at the ceiling of my bunk. I kept questioning my motives over and over again. At this point I really don't know how I feel for now. Sure I still loved her but my heart was telling me it wasn't right. It was like something else was needed or someone else for that matter but who knows.

What was at stake here was either being with the one who left me or losing myself in the process of trying to make myself happy once again.

"Vic." A voice called out towards me. I answered back only to see Tony moving the curtain on my bunk.

"Get up we got to get going, first day of Warped starts today and there's still a lot to do." He stated.

"Fuck." I mumbled under my breath.

This was going to be a long day.



I adjusted my hat and Ray-Ban sunglasses hoping not too many fans would notice me as I walked around the venue. After watching Taking Back Sunday's set I felt a little better after the situation from earlier. I thought it'd be best to not stress too much on the problem due to it being the first day of Warped. I would hate to give my fans a terrible first day performance because of how unhappy I was still feeling.

The sun was beginning to beat down on my face again. As I readjusted my hat I made my way back towards the bus. We wouldn't go on until another hour or so making it best to go and relax until it was time. Strolling around the venue I took the time to study my surroundings.

Teens and young adults; some even older than that left and right filled the venue , some watched sets of bands they admired and love while other were buying merch or trying to find shade somewhere away from the sun. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted to teens trying to decide on whether to visit a band's signing or two other sets they planned to go to.

It made my smile seeing newcomers on the tour, I used to be like them once and now my band and I are living the dream and playing Main stage this year for the first time.

"If only she could be here right now with me." I thought, "Snap out of it, if it wasn't for her you would still be depressed like you are now."

Arguing with myself over tragic topics like my current one only landed me nowhere. I hadn't signed myself up for rejection and heartbreak and if I would've known earlier I would've did everything possible to stop it from even happening. The guys kept me distracted and though I enjoyed their company a part of me truly missed having her in my arms.

Apparently I was too caught up in my own thoughts to watch myself from crash into another figure in front of me. I glanced at the person right in front of me to see who it was. Letting out a small gasp I caught myself before it could be heard. The person a few spaces from me turned out to be her.

The girl from last night at the bar, the one who I sat with, the one I felt a small connection with. Sure we had barely said anything to one another but it felt as if we had knew each other much longer than that.

I managed to get a better look at her today than from last night. Her tan skin shone in the sun complementing her complexion while her hair rested in a messy bun on top of her head.

However her eyes, they were a completely different story. From the looks of it, it seemed like she was petrified and troubled with pain. Who was I kidding I barely knew anything about this girl; I couldn't even remember her name.

Words clouded my mind as well as my thoughts. I didn't know what to say at all. My sentences were beginning to become jumbled up as I felt my nervousness appear."We got to stop running into each other like this." I barely managed to get out. The girl just glanced up at me.

Holding out my hand I motioned to help her up from the terrible collision we had. After she cooperated and dusted herself off she just stood there for a while looking at something or most likely someone else.

"You still there?" I asked.

"Yeah," she stated, "Uh thanks again."

"Thanks for what?"

"For returning my phone is what I meant to say, but thanks."

I gazed at the girl for a minute. All I did was return a phone back to its original owner I should be the one saying thanks. She had been the one to allow me to sit with her when everyone else was oblivious about how I truly felt after my breakup. No one understood me and even though we barely said a word to each other that night I felt a spark of connection and understanding with her. Either that or maybe I was easy to read nowadays just by looking at me.

"I should be saying thanks to you also." I said, "I should also properly introduce myself; Vic, Vic Fuentes."

"Avery, Avery Blake."

I smiled at her and then it became quiet between the two of us. What was I suppose to say now, I didn't have a clue. Before I could open my mouth again Avery quickly explained that she had somewhere else to be at the moment. I immediately made up a fib stating that I also had another place to be so we exchanged numbers, exchanged goodbyes and soon parted ways. A part of me wished we hadn't part ways at all.

The vibration of my phone distracted me as I continued heading in the direction of the PTV bus. Being careless at the moment I decided to answer it without looking at the number of the caller.

"Vic, I've missed you."

The voice on the other line caught my attention by surprise. I wish I didn't bother to answer the phone in the first place.



Fans far and wide crowded around the stage. It seemed like half of the people in the venue was waiting to watch us perform. I felt the anticipation rise inside of me and I noticed it also appearing in the guys as well.

I tried my best not to show any other emotion after what happened while walking back to the tour bus. Everytime something good starts to happen in my life she just had to find a way back in. While on the phone with my ex we discussed a lot of things. Never in my life had I been so angry with another person before not even at a person who disliked the band.

Yet I was on the verge questioning whether or not I wanted to get back with her all over again. My ex did manage to spit out an apology or whatever you can make out of "Let's pretend I never said those words in the first place. It'll be like we never split up."

I wasn't going to let her bring me down at least not here right before we go on in front of every single one of our fans. Our intro music zoned me out of my thoughts. One by one each of the guys went up and got up into their positions on stage. I paced myself one last time before making my way across the stage.

"Salt Lake City what the fuck is up!" I yelled into the mic. Many fans screamed a reply back. Then we started playing Besitos. That's when I spotted her again, Avery. She had a surprised expression on her face after seeing me up onstage. I shot a smile her way and began to sing my heart out to the sea of fans before me.

This is what I loved doing and I wasn't going to let anyone take it away from me. From the corner of my eye I noticed Avery taking pictures during our set. I decided to have a little fun and mess around with her.

I sent smiles her way, made goofy poses throughout parts of the set and etc. She continued to laugh at every single thing I did on stage while snapping picture after picture.

Mistakes or not I wasn't going to let my summer be ruined in the end; especially not this one.