Rise and Fall

“I don’t understand why you don’t just invest in a car. It’d be so much more worthwhile,” Shelby said as she drove me to work. I didn’t explain to her what happened at Daddis earlier today. I just wanted to forget about it and plus I figured since I wasn’t allowed to report to the police about it, I probably shouldn’t blab to anyone else either. Of course I’d be reminded of it and who was responsible for the whole incident when I met with Shadows tonight.

“I just can’t afford it right now. Besides I need to put away savings for an apartment. The security deposits that some places have now is ridiculous,” I said, staring out the window aimlessly. I hadn’t been able to focus since the events from earlier, which would make work more difficult tonight. I began to wonder if he’d show up before my shift ended and have a few drinks. Part of me secretly hoped he did.

“For the millionth time. You are welcome at our apartment. Stop thinking you are a burden,” Shelby said. “Shelb, you’re engaged now. To be married. I’m just in the damn way. I’ve been living with you guys for a few years now and I need to stop leaning on you guys and stand on my own two feet,” I said. “I understand. But it just makes it seem like we’re kicking you out. And we’re not,” Shelby said. “I know. It’s my decision,” I said. Shelby sighed as she pulled into the parking lot. She could argue all she wanted but I knew I was doing the right thing.

“Thanks Shelb. I’ve got a ride home so no worries,” I said as I got out of the car. “Um, alright. I’ll see you later,” she said, clearly curious about who my ride was. Hopefully she assumed that it was someone from work like Bobby or one of the servers. I waved and she drove out of the parking lot.

It was Kyra and I tonight. No bar back tonight, which I thought was ridiculous. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any fights tonight. I had my share of anxiety and stress today that was for sure. I gave Kyra a wave and got set up for the night.

“Hey Tom good to see you,” I said and immediately set him up with his usual beer. Bud Light. The cheapest beer we had available. “Hey love. How goes the kickboxing,” he asked, chugging his beer. It always surprised me when customers remembered things I had mentioned about myself. With the amounts of alcohol they consumed I figured they forgot anything I told them the second they left the bar.

“Not bad. I’m not as exhausted after day two,” I said and Tom grinned. “You’re a tough chick. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hold your own in this joint,” Tom said, probably referring to the beer bottle incident. For a drunk bastard, I had to agree with him. I had been through a lot of shit in my life, and most of it had come from this place.

I chatted with Tom for a little while longer before attending to some of the other customers. It was busy since it was the weekend. Lots of twenty somethings and I was carding people left and right. I actually busted a few nineteen year olds who had some of the shittiest fake IDs I had ever seen. “Those cost us two hundred dollars,” one of the girls scoffed as I tossed them into the trash. “Yeah? Well wait until you’re actually 21. The real thing only costs seventeen bucks,” I said dryly. The girls gave me one last scowl, flipped me off, and left the bar in a hurry.

Already I felt drained and exhausted. I just wanted my shift to be done and over with so I could go home. I didn’t even care about whatever Shadows had to tell me. Nope that was a lie. That was the one thing that was pushing and motivating me through this shift. I hated to admit it but the thought of seeing Shadows again was making my heart race. I cleared off a few of the empty spots at the bar and instantly the seats were filled. I sighed and glanced over at the clock, groaning as I saw that I still had three hours to plow through.

Weren’t people supposed to enjoy their jobs? Well, maybe when they actually had a career. Not a job where people got drunk off their asses and fought each other if the situation demanded it. My dream job involved something with writing. Publishing. Anything in that area really. After all I did have a Bachelor’s degree in English. I figured that covered a lot of bases. Not enough to build a career from anyway.

English majors seemed to be dealing with the same problems as Journalism majors, a lack of job openings. I went to school with some friends who had gotten their degrees in Journalism. However with the decline of subscriptions in magazines and newspapers, they were scurrying to find any online media websites that were hiring. Sadly the majority of my friends seemed to have scraped up jobs somehow, I thought bitterly. Well my time would come. Just chalk it up with the list of things that I needed to change in my life. Money. Living situation. Career.

“Hellooooo can I get a refill,” some guy snapped, waving his empty glass in the air. I crinkled my nose at him as a few ice cubes spilled out of the cup and onto the counter. I despised people who gave me attitudes. When would they ever learn that you should treat your bartenders and waitresses with some respect? We were the ones who supplied them with their sole reason for being here: alcohol. “Gin and tonic,” was all he said and I swiped the glass from him to wash it out and refill it. I shortened the amount of gin but he was too drunk to notice. He gave me exact change and sauntered off into the crowd. Asshole.

“Hellooooo can I get a refill,” another person asked. I was about to punch them in the face when I saw that it was Jeremy with a grin on his face. “I was about ready to punch you in the face. Asshole,” I said, grinning at him. “Eh with what? Your jabs and crosses are weak,” he teased. “What do you want to drink Jeremy,” I asked, rolling my eyes. “Blue Moon,” he said and I got it for him from the tap.

I was glad to see a familiar face. Shelby and Rob used to come up sometimes and it would be fun to chat with them when there was a lull in the night, but they rarely did it anymore. I guess they outgrew it and had moved on to other things, which was just another reminder that I needed to make my own life changes. I put the drink in front of him and he gave me a nice tip. “Jeremy this is too much,” I said, shoving the ten back at him but he shook his head. “Just keep them coming,” he smiled and took a big drink from the beer.

“So when are we going apartment hunting,” Jeremy asked smoothly, always good with transitions in conversation. “As soon as possible. I always work night shifts so any day that you’re free is fine. I only work day shifts if I’m called in to cover for someone,” I explained and he nodded. “I’ll look at my schedule when I get home and give you a call. As soon as possible works for me,” Jeremy said, taking yet another large gulp. He’d be done in no time. He shooed me away to take care of the other customers, insisting that he was fine for now.

Jeremy ended up staying until closing. It was nice to come back to him for a little breather in between all the other assholes that had ventured in tonight. He was fun to joke around with and was good company. Plus, judging from the bills in my apron I knew that tonight had been a good night. Next month’s Daddis bill was definitely paid for. Then I reminded myself that I wasn’t going there anymore after what happened. I’d just give the money to Shelby to bring to the gym. I didn’t care how childish it seemed. After all the customers left and three o'clock finally rolled around I got ready to lock up. “Meet you outside,” Jeremy asked and I nodded. Maybe he was going to ask me for a ride? That would be awkward since Shadows was giving me one. Oh well. I’d deal with that bridge when I crossed it.

Since there was no bar back to tip out, I ended up with almost five hundred dollars. Yes it was definitely a good night. I’d definitely make sure I added a good chunk of that to my savings. I was also pleased because there weren’t any fights that broke out. After saying good night to Kyra I locked up the bar and gasped as Jeremy was standing right there. “Jesus Jeremy you scared me,” I said, laughing nervously. “Did you know Shadows is waiting in the parking lot,” Jeremy asked. Was he jealous?

As promised, Shadows was standing there by his car, arms folded, scowl forever present. “Yes. He kind of said he would,” I said. I didn’t bother elaborating. What would I say anyway? But if Jeremy thought this was strange he didn’t say so. “Oh. Well I guess I’ll see you around then,” he said, sounding dejected. “We’re still on for apartment stuff right,” I shouted after him. “Of course,” he said, giving me a small smile. But he still looked hurt. I watched him drive off before walking over to Shadows.

“Why was he here,” Shadows inquired. Did I detect the tiniest flicker of jealousy? Doubtful. “To get a drink I suppose. That’s why people usually come here,” I said, giving him a wry look. He sighed and got into the car, unlocking the door for me. He revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. I gripped my seat, somewhat terrified of his driving. After a while, I realized that we were nowhere near my apartment. A chill made its way down my spine.

“Where are we going,” I asked nervously. “Somewhere private,” Shadows said vaguely. I huffed and crossed my arms, hating the precautionary measures he was taking. It was three o’clock in the morning. Just about everywhere was private since the majority of people were asleep. He settled on an abandoned parking lot by a beat up house that looked like it hadn’t been inhabited in years. He cut the engine and we sat in silence for a minute and I wondered who was going to speak first. He was looking straight ahead through the windshield and I rolled my eyes, guessing that it was going to be me.

“Well you said you were going to tell me everything. Go on,” I said, knowing I was giving him attitude but it was late and I was getting tired. Besides, by now he should’ve begun to expect the attitude right? “I’m trying to figure out where to begin,” he said. I stayed quiet, allowing him to gather his thoughts. What was he going to tell me? Was he on America’s Most Wanted? Was he waiting for someone to show up at the car and whack me?

“Things aren’t what they seem at Daddis,” he began. I stared at him, confused by his words. “It started out with every intention of being a gym. A place for people to bulk up, blow off steam, whatever. But things changed when my dad died,” Shadows continued. Why was he telling me something so personal? Instinctively I wanted to put a comforting arm against his but knew in less than a half a second that it was a stupid idea.

“My dad was Gary. Gary Sanders,” he said, pronouncing each word carefully. He continued looking at me, waiting for a reaction. I knew the name alright. Everyone from the Philly area up to New York who didn’t live under a rock knew who he was. He wasn’t just Matt. He was Matt Sanders.

Gary Sanders, his father, was rumored to be the most powerful gang leader on the east coast. He ruled with an iron fist. Well he did until his death four years ago. I remembered hearing about it in the news. They had hoped that it would decrease the amount of violence in cities. For years gangs had been in and out of the news and were blamed when any mysterious or suspicious deaths occurred. They had been out of the news for the past few years, but occasionally they still popped up. As if to remind the world that they were still out there.

“Say something,” Matt said quietly. He was still staring at me, his eyes glued to my face. I felt paralyzed with fear. I was sitting in the car with a very dangerous gangster. He could easily kill me and probably knew off the top of his head dozens of places that were great for hiding bodies. But at the same time, this man had lost his father. There was still a human part of him in there somewhere, even if he did act cruel and rarely showed his emotions. Matt wasn't that old. How old was he when he had to take charge? That was a lot of responsibility to put on someone so young. “You replaced him,” I whispered, surprised that my voice didn’t shake or crack at all. He responded with a short nod.

“Daddis became a front for… the business. No one would question large cash transactions or big deliveries. Gyms are expensive. We could be delivering anything. Gym equipment. Mats. Gloves. Thai pads. Whatever,” Matt explained. His explanation brought a chill down my spine. It was a brilliant plan really. Flawless. No one would suspect a thing. I knew that Gary had a son but I never knew his name. It was never released.

“But no gang goes around without having their share of enemies. Avenged Sevenfold is our name. And it seems as though we are constantly at battle with Three Days Grace. I thought I could close the gap my father had left so wide open between us. But they have no interest in being allies. So for now we have a very shaky, very unstable alliance… understanding… something. And… I believe they are the ones responsible for the attack that occurred earlier today,” Matt summarized. Avenged Sevenfold. Three Days Grace. The names were vaguely familiar. I remembered their shortened names, A7X. 3DG. The news of course liked to be fancy and hip by using what they deemed cool lingo.

I didn’t really know what to say. He said he was going to explain everything to me, but part of me didn’t think he really would. Didn’t he think it was pretty risky telling some random chick the background information about his gang? I looked down at my legs and bit my lip. “And no one’s ever found out. Until me,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I continued to stare down at the floor at my beat up shoes. Maybe I'd go out tomorrow and get a new pair. No, stop. Focus.

“No. Well they’ve never done anything risky like make such an aggressive move just after the gym closed for the day. Incredibly risky to be seen by people. Like you. They’ve never had much regard for the rules… one of the biggest things we clash over. You need rules. Organization. Or you’re setting yourself up for failure,” Matt said sternly. It made sense that he was the gang leader. He was very smart and clever.

“So that guy Corey you were with that night. Is he…” I asked, unable to finish the sentences and say the words. “He is in a lower ranking gang that relies on business with my gang to stay in operation. In a way we were there for business. I tried to convince him to carry out his business with us and not with Three Days Grace. Not so sure that I won him over though,” Matt said, shaking his head. “And now I have to be killed. Because I know too much right,” I asked, meeting his eyes. For the first time ever, his face broke out into a wide grin. Even though I was questioning my death and was scared, I couldn’t help but think that he should smile more because it was a beautiful grin that lit his whole face up. “Always writing yourself off. You watch too many movies, cupcake,” Matt said, still smiling. I guess that meant I was safe.

“I’m not even sure if having the answers makes me feel better,” I admitted. “It helps. It’s better to be prepared,” Matt said, his expression hardening. Back to business I suppose. We had been here for about an hour now. I hoped that he would be bringing me home shortly. “Are you scared,” Matt asked. “Yes and no,” I said. He raised a brow at hearing me say no. “Well if I’m at your… gym… then I’m safer. Right,” I asked.

He looked impressed at my response. “In a way yes. Some people might view it as making them a bigger target. But yes. I’ll keep you safe,” Matt said and the words made my body heat up at the idea of him protecting me. “So does this mean you’ll still be going to classes,” Matt asked curiously. “I suppose,” I said and Matt chuckled. He seemed please and that made me happy. “It’s getting late. You need rest. Especially after everything that happened today,” Matt said as he turned the engine back on. “I’m not fragile,” I said, glaring at him. “Never said you were, cupcake,” he said and without another word he shifted the car into a gear and drove me home.

We arrived in front of the apartment and Matt put the car into park. “Have you been looking at other apartments,” he asked. “Yes. And Jeremy is helping me,” I added. Matt scowled at that fact. Hm maybe there was a flicker of jealousy. “I could help you. Some sort of payment after going through a shooting and protecting Brian,” he suggested. “I already promised him that we would. And I don’t want him to grow more suspicious at us spending time together,” I said.

“You don’t like spending time together,” he asked, looking slightly offended. “No! It’s not that it’s just… under the circumstances… it just doesn’t make sense for a student and her instructor to spend a lot of time together,” I said, hoping I didn’t offend him even more. Truthfully it was the opposite. I looked forward to spending time with him. Even if he did frighten me since I knew what he was capable of.

“And I still scare you,” Matt confirmed and I bit my lip. “If you didn’t… then wouldn’t you be doing your job wrong,” I asked and a wide grin spread across his face. The dimples did a nice job of making him seem less scary. He reached for me and gently caressed the stitches again, making me feel like my flesh was on fire and that the stitches would burn off. I swallowed hard and met his gaze. “Just another week and they’ll be gone,” I whispered. I had a suspicion that the stitches made him feel guilty about what happened since they were a constant reminder that I got hurt. Of course he would never admit that.

“Don’t fear me, cupcake. I’ll protect you,” Matt murmured, still holding my face with one hand. His hands were large and could easily hold my face with them. “Protect me from what,” I asked. He gave me a small smile and his thumb lazily touched the stitches. They didn’t hurt anymore. All of the bruising and ugly coloring had faded, finally. “The bad guys,” he replied simply. It was a question on my tongue that I couldn’t hold back. “What if you’re the bad guy,” I asked, somewhat afraid of what he would say.

“I guess you’ll just have to learn to trust me,” he said, releasing his hand from my face. I ached to feel his touch and caress again. “I think I’m starting to,” I said, bravely reaching for his hand again. The action surprised both of this but I could see that it pleased him. He massaged small circles against my hand and I couldn’t stop the small smile from forming across my lips.

“Good night,” I said. “Sweet dreams, cupcake,” he sighed as he let go of my hand and unlocked the door. I got out after reaching for my set of keys and watched him speed off into the night. Slowly but surely I was unraveling the mystery of the man. It was scary that I was starting to grow attached to him already, and how much I was looking forward to our next encounter even after all that I had just learned tonight.