For a Horizon
Let it all run down.
She looks straight ahead, out of the window. Birds swoop past and she watches them. She’s sat up, wrapped in a long white sheet. He’s lying next to her.
“What are we doing?” she whispers, leaning forwards to rest her arms on her knees.
He yawns and sits up next to her. His pale eyes look to her, and then skim over the floor. “We’re in bed,” he says.
“No,” she sighs, “What are we doing?” She cards a hand through her short hair, shaking her head. Her engagement ring glistens in the light.
“I thought you wanted this.” He shuffles closer to her and slings his arm over her shoulder. Her mouth goes dry. Cold rushes through her body.
“Why,” she pushes him off, stands up, “Because that’s how irresistible you are. Do you really think that I just couldn’t keep my hands off you?” The room stands silent. She’s old enough to know better, and he’s just young enough to not give a shit.
“Well, I thought you loved me,” he chokes. She doesn’t look at him, she can’t. She doesn’t look at his dark hair, or his bare chest, or the tears he’s holding back. Instead she stares at the pictures that hang on the walls. Polaroids glued four at a time into photo frames. She pretends that she doesn’t see one of herself.
“I love Tony.” She picks her underwear up off the floor and steps into it. “I love my fiancée.”
“Then why have you been making love to me?” His voice raises, but he sits calm.
She fastens her bra. The bathroom door is open slightly, protruding into the bedroom. The sound of the dripping tap hollows out her ears.
“You think this is making love?” A drop of water hits the ceramic sink. “You think that me sneaking away from my fiancée to screw around with an ex-student is romantic?”
“I’m only six years younger than you.” He concentrates on breathing.
She throws her blue dress on. Birds are still flying by the window. “I’m going.”
“You’ll come back though, you always end up coming back here.”
She looks at him then. Her dark eyes meet his, and she smiles softly despite herself. “I know,” is all she says. It’s all she can say.
“He’ll find out one day.” He reaches for her hand as she walks past, but she pulls away.
“Yeah, he probably will.” She opens the door and steps through. She turns back to face him, to face her demons. “I deserve that much.”
“What are we doing?” she whispers, leaning forwards to rest her arms on her knees.
He yawns and sits up next to her. His pale eyes look to her, and then skim over the floor. “We’re in bed,” he says.
“No,” she sighs, “What are we doing?” She cards a hand through her short hair, shaking her head. Her engagement ring glistens in the light.
“I thought you wanted this.” He shuffles closer to her and slings his arm over her shoulder. Her mouth goes dry. Cold rushes through her body.
“Why,” she pushes him off, stands up, “Because that’s how irresistible you are. Do you really think that I just couldn’t keep my hands off you?” The room stands silent. She’s old enough to know better, and he’s just young enough to not give a shit.
“Well, I thought you loved me,” he chokes. She doesn’t look at him, she can’t. She doesn’t look at his dark hair, or his bare chest, or the tears he’s holding back. Instead she stares at the pictures that hang on the walls. Polaroids glued four at a time into photo frames. She pretends that she doesn’t see one of herself.
“I love Tony.” She picks her underwear up off the floor and steps into it. “I love my fiancée.”
“Then why have you been making love to me?” His voice raises, but he sits calm.
She fastens her bra. The bathroom door is open slightly, protruding into the bedroom. The sound of the dripping tap hollows out her ears.
“You think this is making love?” A drop of water hits the ceramic sink. “You think that me sneaking away from my fiancée to screw around with an ex-student is romantic?”
“I’m only six years younger than you.” He concentrates on breathing.
She throws her blue dress on. Birds are still flying by the window. “I’m going.”
“You’ll come back though, you always end up coming back here.”
She looks at him then. Her dark eyes meet his, and she smiles softly despite herself. “I know,” is all she says. It’s all she can say.
“He’ll find out one day.” He reaches for her hand as she walks past, but she pulls away.
“Yeah, he probably will.” She opens the door and steps through. She turns back to face him, to face her demons. “I deserve that much.”