You Mean the World to Me, Jack Barakat

About a month and a half has passed since I found out I was pregnant. This last month and a half has been complete living hell. I was two weeks pregnant when I found out I was going to have a baby. That makes me two months pregnant. In the last two months a lot has happened. Jack and I were acting odd to each other. Most people wouldn’t think it wasn’t a big of a deal but guess what! Jack and I weren’t “together” anymore, or at least I thought. I was home and he was still on tour. Jack had to have slept with other girls while I was gone. I didn’t want to a better girl on his arm. But more than likely there was probably going to be. I was having anxiety attacks all the time, and guess what else? Today is the day warped is over. Today is the day jack comes home. Fuck.
*FLASHBACK*
I felt like shit. I felt terrible. And not because I was pregnant and had morning sickness. No not that, it was because today was the day Alex’s brother Tom committed suicide. Alex was a wreck, we all were. Alex had kept quite that day, behaved, did what Matt told him to, and vanished when the band wasn’t doing warped tour things. It was pretty late at night when Alex walked off the bus. It was weird seeing that nobody freaked out but me. I was sure Jack would have followed after him. But he didn’t. I told Jack and the rest of the guys that I was leaving to go find Alex and all they did was make noise. That made me laugh. Before I left Jack had followed me to the door of the bus and pressed his lips to mine. Oh my god he was so cute. “I’m sorry that I’m no fun today.” He said with a sad face. “you’re alright Jack.” He smiled and I walked out the door. It didn’t take me long to figure out where Alex would be, it actually wouldn’t take anyone to long to figure out really. Alex would be at the lake. And that’s exactly where I went. “Hey Lex?” he didn’t move much. “Mhmm?” he sounded sad, “I’m here for you okay? I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but I am.” All Alex did was stand up and cup my face with his hands. “Skylar, I’m sorry but let me try something.” I don’t know why I didn’t stop him, maybe it was because I felt bad. Maybe because those old weird kid like feelings for Alex popped into my mind. All I know is that things are going to get fucked up real quickly. When Alex kissed me there was something different. I didn’t like it, his lips were a bit more chapped than Jacks. When I kissed Alex I didn’t close my eyes, I didn’t move my hands around his neck. Nothing like I do when I kiss Jack. “Really Alex, the fuck?” I heard Jack whine yell from about eight yards away. I walked off crying. I didn’t want to be around for Jack to do whatever he has planned for Alex. Jack tried to stop me but I didn’t let him. “I’m sorry Jack, I really am. Forget about me, it’s what I deserve, it’s what YOU deserve, you need better and I am clearly not that better person that you need.” He grabbed me and turned me to face him. “You’re going to quote my own song to me then you just walk off. Have you ever thought that I might not want you to leave?” I cried some more. “Jack, maybe I want to leave. I’m sorry. Go find someone better and I will see you when you come home.” Tears fell from both of our eyes when I handed him the ring he had proposed to me with. “I’m sorry Jack.” I kissed his cheek and walked on. It had started raining and it was hard to hear but I swear I heard Jack say the words “I love you, I will love you forever.”

FLASHBACK OVER*
Like I said, warped was over. That meant Jack was going to be home today. I didn’t want him to be. I mean I was nearly four months pregnant and I looked disgusting. I had kept in touch with the other guys for the rest of the summer. They all said Jack was at the worst he has ever been, every time I talked to one of the guys they told me that Jack wanted to work things out when he came home and that he still loved me. Rian would always tell me that Jack never talked to a woman unless they were a fan. All of this made me feel even more terrible. Some days Jack would send me texts saying that he loved me, I would reply with “Why?, I left you in the pouring rain. I kissed your best friend. I’m a terrible person. But, I love you too.” Jack would reply with “forever?’’ and I would reply with “does it seem like it?” and Jack wouldn’t text anything back. I hated when I had to be mean to him because I really did love him. I did, with ALL of my heart. I was half asleep on the couch when I got a text from Alex saying “I just got home, so that means Jack will be over in about thirty seconds.” And god damn it Alex was right. Jack had walked right in the front door. “I’ll make it quick Skylar, I know you don’t want me here so I will make this as quick as possible. I’m gonna live with Alex for a while then I’m going to find me own place, Okay? I really just want to make you happy. I pray to god that one day we will go back to loving each other and being each other’s best friend. In fact I still love you and I still want to be with you, but I know that’s not what you want anymore, so I’m sorry.”