Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

My hands trembled slightly as I handed my boarding pass over to the flight attendant. She opened it up and scanned it over then handed it back to me, giving half a smile as she did so then lifted her arm and directed it to the right, showing me where to go.

'Thank you.' I told her and started my way down the terminal towards the plane.

I stood in the queue that had formed as yet again, we waited for our tickets to be checked over before we could take our seats.

I arrived at the front of the line and this time a far more cheerful flight attendant scanned over my ticket. He grinned as he handed it back to me.

'Seat 23G.' He beamed. 'Have a nice flight. Who's next please?' He called after I'd walked away to find my seat.

After no less than five minutes of looking I found my seat on the window side of a row of three. I sat down and shoved my carry on bag under my chair, out of view of the flight attendants. I didn't want to risk either an awkward climb across the people sitting next to me to get it from the over head compartment, or risk sitting bored for the whole journey to America because there was no way at all I was going to ask the person I was going to be sat next to to get it for me.

I was far too shy for that.

I'd already had the debate about my shyness with my friends. I wouldn't speak to people I didn't know unless I was spoken to or unless it was some kind of life or death situation and I had to. It was pretty much like pulling teeth trying to get a conversation out of me.

They asked me why I even bothered to put my name down to go to America to hang out with a band for six months, interviewing and doing articles on them.

The reason was to get over my crippling shyness and so I had experience in travelling journalism. In all fairness I never thought I would get chosen to go. Most of the class had wanted to go and it just so happened that that small, folded piece of paper with 'Darcy' written on was picked out of the shoe box our tutor kept for those kinds of occasions.

The plane was filled with all of the excited passengers waiting to set off on their holiday, or to go see family or to get back home. I on the other hand sat and bobbed my knee while breathing slowly into the sleeve of my jacket that I'd cupped around my mouth, my substitute of a paper bag.

I wasn't scared of flying, it was my favourite part of the journey, it was getting to my destination and doing my job that made me panic and break out in sweat.

I hadn't been told anything about the band I was to be with, the woman who had organised it wanted me to find out the ins and outs of the band on my own, without knowing any of their names or what they did within the band.

We finally set off and I plugged in my headphones, shutting out the buzz of the passengers and calmed myself down. I pulled out my sudoku book and pencil and started the puzzles to help clear my mind of any worries I had.

***

Most of the flight flew by for me. I fell asleep after the ninth puzzle I did and only woke up on the occasional turbulence or knock to the elbow from the old man sitting beside me.

He'd occasionally ask if I would like a tissue as I'd been silently crying in my dream, but I assured him was fine and I was missing my friends company already.

The truth was all too much for a strangers ears.

When we landed we all made our way to the front exit of the plane and made our way into the airport. We went through the long winded process of ticket and passport checks before we were allowed our luggage.

My stomach did a dozen flips as I rolled both suitcases behind me towards the airport collections only hoping the woman who planned my trip hadn't forgotten to collect me.

I pulled out the piece of paper with her picture on to remind me what she looked like and scanned the crowd to look for her.

I panicked slightly until I saw her face, a large grin formed on her lips as she waved a banner around which read 'OLI VER' in bright letters so I couldn't really miss it.

I quickly walked over, pulling my cases behind.

'Ella?' I questioned hoping I was correct.

'Indeed little miss, and you must be Darcy Oliver, how was your trip?' she asked, taking one of my suitcases from me and led me to the exit.

I didn't know a lot about Ella in all honesty. All I knew was that she is one of my tutors best friends, lives full time in America helping to manage a band, she was thirty two and...well that was pretty much it.

She'd agreed for a student to work with her to gain experience and arranged the whole trip with the tutor. All I had to do was sort out a visa and pack my bags.

I ran a little to keep up with her and she skipped ahead. She was wearing blue skinny jeans and a white vest top with Anthem written on. A pair of red vans sat on her feet and her dirty blonde hair was scraped up into a messy bun.

'The trip was good thanks.' I replied, catching up to her side.

'That's good. I was so worried you'd be grouchy after the long flight and you'd be all snappy with me, but you seem pretty chill. I like that.' She replied taking a small glance at me over her shoulder.

I just smiled back not knowing how to carry on the conversation next.

We reached the front where all of the cars were parked and she lead me to her large black Jeep.

'I'll grab those for you. Climb up front, there's a whole bunch of papers for you about your stay and your job here.' Ella smiled.

I did as she said as she threw my cases into the boot.

Like she said there was large purple file filled with lists and times and different cities. There was also a section to write notes and plan out articles. She had everything pretty much covered.

'So, lets get this thing started.' Ella grinned jumping in beside me and started up the Jeep.

We set off down quiet, scenic routes. I rolled the window down and let the slight breeze blow my light, wavy brown hair back out of my face.

We had been driving for about fifteen minutes and I'd not said a word, I was practically ignorance personified so I decided to pipe up.

'I'm sorry I've been so quiet. I'm not ignorant, just...'

'Shy?' Ella finished for me.

I nodded and twirled a little hair around my finger.

'Don't worry about it. I was exactly like you are back in high school. Then one summer my parents shipped me off to acting camp and it was the best thing they ever did. Everyone was so out going and supportive you couldn't help but break out and do the same. I'm glad it did because it got me where I am now. I'm managing an awesome bunch of dudes, travelling the world, meeting great people, I'm sure this trip will do you the world of good.' Ella explained, unable to control the happiness in her voice.

'I hope so.' I replied, turning my gaze back out of the window.