Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

'So, do you know of any parks around here?' I asked Kellin as we walked down the streets of Ohio. Kellin and I were still hand in hand, it was comfortable though, he occasionally gave it a light squeeze, though I don't think he realised he was doing it.

'Nope, but I'm sure we'll find one, one can always ask directions.' He flashed me a toothy grin and brushed some fallen hair back under his cap.

'Wow, I'm in state of shock, a boy that asks for directions. What next? A day where Jesse and I don't mock each other?' Kellin laughed at my words and gave another squeeze of my hand.

'I'm not like all the stubborn asses out there, if I want to get somewhere and I cant find it, I'll demand it from another person. I get far too agitated when things aren't going correctly.' He replied.

'So...are we going to ask someone now?' I'd noticed he hadn't stopped looking side to side and down back streets looking for the right way to go.

'Not just yet, we just need to look out for a trail of kids, and listen for their gleeful screams of delight that I'm so jealous of right now because I want to sit on a swing or spin on a roundabout.' I could tell in his tone he was growing agitated.

'Kellin, maybe we should just ask, we'll get there a lot faster than trying to find kids to follow...it will also save us looking weird and creepy.' I explained, hoping he would ask someone as my feet were growing tired.

'OK, lets ask these folk.' He then said and pulled me towards an old couple who were sat on a bench, holding hands and smiling with each other.

'Do you really think they're going to know where a park is?' I whispered to Kellin as we walked closer.

'Of course, look at them, they're full of life.' It didn't look too convincing, they were both pretty old. 'Excuse me,' Kellin said, causing them both to look at us.

'Yes, love.' The old woman replied, smiling up at the two of us.

'We were just wondering if you knew where the closest park was. We're a little lost.' Kellin said sheepishly.

'Well of course, we take our grandchildren all of the time. If you make your way to the end of this street and take your first left, you cant miss it.' What'd you know, Kellin was right, they did know.

'Thank you, have a nice day now.' Kellin replied, giving them both a wave. As we walked away from the bench I heard the woman say to her husband, 'Such a beautiful couple.' My stomach knotted at this and I tried to ignore it.

As we neared the end of the street Kellin couldn't hold in his excitement any longer and started running, dragging me along behind. We took the first left as we'd been told and we both stopped dead in out tracks.

'Oh my God! Look at this!' Kellin yelled. 'It's frickin' amazing!' He picked up his running pace again and didn't stop until he reached the entrance.

You wouldn't have thought he was twenty four years old.

'Are you ready?' He inhaled a deep breath. 'I don't care that all of these kids are already here, I'm going to have just as much fun.' He turned his face to look at me and grin.

'I'm as ready as I'll ever be.' I replied, smiling back. Kellin then tightened his grip on my hand and ran into the park, heading straight for the roundabout that was currently being occupied by four teenagers, ranging from about fourteen to sixteen.

'Do you mind if we use this?' Kellin asked them, hopping from foot to foot. They all looked at one another then back at Kellin, pulling a face at him as if to say, 'You're a grown ass man, you shouldn't be here' but Kellin didn't seem to pick up on it, he just looked as hopeful as ever.

'Sure, feel free.' One of the young boys replied. They all stood off the roundabout and walked away, leaving Kellin and I to occupy it.

'OK, I want you to get on, sit in the middle and hold on. I want you to think of one thing that is bringing you down right at this very moment, close your eyes and when I start spinning you, I want you to forget about it and let it go.' Kellin told me, ushering me forward.

'Will you not go too fast? I don't want to throw up all over you and these other kids.' I told him. He chuckled and promised not to. I got on and sat in the middle and gripped tightly onto the bars to my sides. The metal surface was cold on my bare legs so it took a moment or two to get comfortable.

'You thought of something?' He asked, getting ready to swing the roundabout.

The only thing bringing me down was the fact I was potentially hurting Kellin. Now I didn't know for sure that there were feelings floating around but I was bright enough to notice chemistry between two people, and Kellin and I had that. For me I was trying to keep it strictly friendship, but I feared Kellin didn't want things to stay that way.

'I have something.' I replied and closed my eyes, blocking out the bad feelings I had that could surface.